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blissfulhope
Frequent scribe
since
25-10-2018
13-06-2020
20
Posts
29
Kudos
0
Solutions
25-08-2019
05:49 PM
1 Kudo
Hey @WheresMySquishy It is thank you for being so understanding, that really helped me to feel a bit better. That's really true, these things can't be helped, they just happen naturally. I am terrified of telling him, it will really hurt him. But then again that is just how things are... I am so torn on whether it is a good idea to tell him the truth about how I am feeling or just continue explaining that this is not the right time for me to be in a relationship. It's so difficult
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25-08-2019
05:45 PM
3 Kudos
Aww thank you @reach804 I have had a really tough year in terms of my mental health so at the moment in addition to the treatment I am receiving I am trying to reorganise my life to make sure that I can truly be happy in all aspects... even though it's hard. It is definitely really painful. I have thought about making some new friends who are LGBTQI friendly, surrounding myself with supportive people and perhaps just making the necessary changes in my life, even if that means leaving my boyfriend of one year. I can't fake happiness and I can't continue to pretend to be someone that I am not. I have for so many years been in such denial of my sexual orientation and since I started meeting and having relationships with other queer people I think I have finally started to discover what may truly make me happy and is my true self... but that's for me to work out from experience I guess
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25-08-2019
05:42 PM
I'm so grateful for this space, at the moment it feels like the only place I can talk about this as I have very little support from those in my life at the moment. I have reached out to one or two close friends about my feelings, one of whom has since seemed to distance herself from me... I wish my friends and family weren't so homophobic. It just makes me so angry. Thank you for the resources and your support, @Bre-RO
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18-08-2019
10:19 PM
I consider myself a queer female, as I honestly don't think I fit in perfectly with the label "lesbian" or "bisexual." I have a boyfriend and have been with him for a long time. But over the last few months all I can think about is how much I would prefer to be with a girl again. I feel so terrible and like an awful person, it hurts me so much every day. I feel so confused and my anxiety is through the roof. I am in constant fear and panic. I am scared of leaving him, I am scared to move on and continue exploring my sexuality. I feel so trapped. Not to mention that my family would disown me entirely if I were to ever come out to them. Every day feels like a constant struggle.
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31-05-2019
05:28 PM
Hi @missep I have been struggling lately to be honest, but I'm pushing through the darkness with the support of my awesome GP, psychologist and meeting with a psychiatrist very soon for an overall review on my meds. I feel like a different person not being interested in any of the things I used to be passionate about. It's so strange. I have missed these forums as I have been absent for a few weeks but logging on here and reading comments from the supportive community always lifts my spirits. Hope you are well
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31-05-2019
05:14 PM
@Definitelynotmitchell Thank you so much for your kind words. :) Lately I have been feeling a bit up and down, though in the past couple of days more down than anything else. I have been tracking my mood every day in order to keep a record of how I am feeling, and did some meditation today which I hadn't done in a long time, which was helpful. Every day is such a struggle right now though
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31-05-2019
05:11 PM
@TIL Thank you so much. x
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29-04-2019
07:18 PM
Hi @missep, Thank you so much for your supportive words I've found that those strategies are crucial! In combination with therapy from my psychologist and medication I think I'm really on the way to recovering. I'm glad to hear that there are others who are also experiencing this, it makes me feel much less alone. I relapsed on the weekend by self-harming after a few weeks of having used coping strategies to avoid it, but I was in a terrible state. I was pretty disappointed as I thought I had been progressing but I had an anger outburst that just overwhelmed me so much that I couldn't handle anything. Hopefully I can avoid it again next time. Thank you so much
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26-04-2019
10:34 AM
Hey @lennycat2017, hope you had a great long weekend too! Right now, better that I have ever been in terms of my anxiety disorder as I have started medication that my doctor prescribed, which has helped very much to help me get through the day without the constant panic attacks and anxiety. The past week was really hard in terms of the BPD and angry outbursts to my boyfriend/mood swings, I hurt him so much when my intrusive thoughts come in and once I’ve calmed down, I feel guilty for it. I’m working on those symptoms though with my psychologist and I think some of the strategies and things she has taught me are already having a small effect on the way I think and manage my emotions. I really feel like there is finally a way out of this!
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24-04-2019
10:30 AM
2 Kudos
@blobby That sounds like a great day ahead! It is also one of my goals to learn how to cook. I look forward to hearing about what you cook/bake I also really need to declutter my makeup, it is an absolute mess that I have just neglected for too long haha. Decluttering will feel great afterwards! hope you have a great day!
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24-04-2019
10:24 AM
1 Kudo
Great idea @mspaceK! Good job on making that step to contact headspace about therapy, it will really help and provide a distraction to you, it makes me happy seeing others taking that initiative to get help because it’s really not the easiest thing to do! Even though I tend to leave my room a mess for periods at a time, once I’m feeling in the mood there is nothing better and more rewarding that cleaning and decluttering your room! 1. This morning I am at my GP for a check-in appointment after 3 weeks of therapy. It’s been a rough couple of weeks but I’m glad I reached out for support. 2. I will be hanging out with my boyfriend tonight and catching up on some of our favourite movies, which I have been looking forward to! Thank you for starting this thread, it’s great to see what everyone else gets up to and has also helped to distract me as well
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21-04-2019
01:21 AM
5 Kudos
Wishing you all a Happy Easter!!! In my culture we celebrate Easter next week but it’s honestly my favourite time of the year so I don’t mind getting into the Easter spirit twice
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17-04-2019
12:22 PM
1 Kudo
Hi @WheresMySquishy! I definitely agree with you about Instagram and the kind of image it portrays of people. I am so glad that I am no longer on there and have deleted that app hopefully for good. It just caused me so many problems. Thank you so much!!! I really hope so. It can be really difficult since my few close friends don't really understand, especially the BPD and just the way I am towards them sometimes. I am lucky that my boyfriend and my sister do understand though. At least I have two people that I can fall back onto. And an incredibly supportive community that I have recently discovered here!
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17-04-2019
12:15 PM
3 Kudos
@lennycat2017 thank you so much!!!! that made me smile. It definitely wasn't easy to build up the courage to talk about my experiences/traits that she told me are linked with my BPD but I am glad I got everything out there and told her because it really did give me clarity. We have gone over methods to manage self-harm urges, and in our future sessions we will go over much more. There is a lot to work on so we're still figuring out where to start first - right now her main objective has been to help me understand my disorders, which although kind of scares me to an extent, actually really helps. I am so glad I have removed it from my life, it was doing me so much more harm than good. Thank you! I will keep you updated on how things are going.
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16-04-2019
10:38 PM
3 Kudos
thank you so much @ecla34, it has been over a week since I deleted it and I honestly feel like I removed so much toxicity. I feel so much better without it and intend to keep it that way for a long time. i've been seeing the psychologist that my GP referred me to and she has been fantastic so far in helping me to understand my diagnosis and have an understanding of my conditions, it feels like a sort of clarity for me as before I was just constantly suffering, and not understanding why. It has helped me a lot knowing that these intrusive thoughts, anger and intense emotions are part of my BPD, and I have been learning some strategies to manage the urge to self-harm, etc. I was so reluctant to ever get help but I am so glad I did, I know it will be a long journey but I feel positive that I have the right support around me to get through this
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11-04-2019
01:02 PM
1 Kudo
Hi @missep, I saw a psychologist and told her about these feelings, amongst the depression/anxiety which has been debilitating for me lately and she identified these as traits of BPD. Knowing that this horrible state I have been in actually has a name is kind of a relief. It has been really hard to deal with. I deleted Instagram last week because I felt the urge to hurt myself again and I stepped up and said, no way am I letting this get to me! So I deleted, and I feel amazing without it in my life. I feel much better. You sound really awesome too and I really appreciate your response very much!! Thank you for your kind words. ❤️😊
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11-04-2019
12:57 PM
1 Kudo
Hi @Andrea-RO, thank you very much for your response and your welcome. I really appreciate it. I've managed to gain a better insight about my own feelings and thoughts after talking about this with my psychologist. I'm slowly getting better at understanding that these are just thoughts and haven't had any urges to cause harm to myself or any rage episodes which is a big step forward for me. Understanding the difference between just thoughts and real, rational jealousy has helped me a lot. The self care tips list is also very helpful and I will be trying out those as well :) Thank you so much for your support 😊😊❤️❤️
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01-04-2019
09:10 PM
2 Kudos
@ecla34 This is so great! I should really try this out.
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01-04-2019
07:45 PM
6 Kudos
Hey @ecla34! Resilience to me means learning from experiences in the past and coming back from them, stronger than ever, using support resources that are available to you as weapons. I've been going through a really hard time at the moment but there have been many moments in my life where I have been resilient. I guess one example would be when I suffered depression in high school as a result of bullying, sexual harassment and substance abuse and some other factors. I would not go to school, I was a terrible student and didn't take school seriously at all. I was failing tests. Two years later, I had gained some more life experience and travelled overseas, which really changed everything for me. I discovered my passion, which I am now studying at university, and ended up being one of the top students in the state, and accepted into the top university of the country. I changed my behaviours, attitude, everything. I didn't allow my past to get me down. I believed in myself and set a goal that I worked so hard to achieve, despite my dark past and struggles. I wanted to turn my life around more than anything. I don't know how I did it, but resilience, in any form, can really bring significant changes.
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01-04-2019
07:39 PM
I'm new to these forums. I really need some advice or guidance to how I should go about this. I have Generalised Anxiety Disorder and depression, I'm not sure if this is related to my condition but I have been experiencing intrusive thoughts and overwhelming jealousy in my relationship recently, for irrational reasons. UPDATE: I have been diagnosed with BPD by a mental health professional and currently in treatment. I have an amazing partner, he loves and cares for me very much and has been so supportive helping me to find treatment and help for my mental health condition. I am very lucky to have him and we have always had an amazing level of trust, honesty and openness between us. I used to be so confident, I would talk about my bisexuality with him, we would talk about other girls together, nothing would ever bother me since I was so confident and loved myself enough to understand that it was purely being sexually experimental, not that he wanted other girls, etc. We had the best relationship, and we still do, as we are extremely close and tell each other everything. I have no reason to doubt him as we share everything with each other. I have never been an overly jealous type either as I always believed in honesty and openness is key to a healthy relationship. But I no longer feel like myself. I am nothing like that anymore, and the change scares me. Recently however, I have found that my self-esteem has plummeted and I find myself constantly comparing myself to girls on Instagram and social media, hating the way I look and being constantly jealousy about him even LOOKING at other girls. I freak out and want to hurt myself because I feel worthless. It's so bad. I have intrusive thoughts about him wanting other girls, when an attractive girl walks past I freak out and get so jealous. These intrusive thoughts are so bad that they give me the urge to self-harm again and even suicidal thoughts, although I have no active intention of doing that. It is so horrible. I constantly start fights with him and get angry because in my head I have convinced myself that he doesn't want me and is hiding so much from me, maybe talking to other girls or chasing them secretly and hiding it from me. This is all irrational as he loves me very much and we want to spend the rest of our lives together. I hate suffering like this with these thoughts. I really need some advice on how to cope with these, because it is unbearable to feel this way. Is this a result of my condition? Has anyone had a similar experience?
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My Recent High Fives Received
Subject | High Fives | Posted |
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1 | 25-08-2019 05:49 PM | |
3 | 25-08-2019 05:45 PM | |
2 | 24-04-2019 10:30 AM | |
1 | 24-04-2019 10:24 AM | |
5 | 21-04-2019 01:21 AM |
My Recent High Fives Given
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Public Statistics
Date Registered | 25-10-2018 12:09 AM |
Date Last Visited | 13-06-2020 03:32 PM |
Total Messages Posted | 20 |
Total High Fives Received | 29 |
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03:32 PM
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