I consider myself a queer female, as I honestly don't think I fit in perfectly with the label "lesbian" or "bisexual." I have a boyfriend and have been with him for a long time. But over the last few months all I can think about is how much I would prefer to be with a girl again. I feel so terrible and like an awful person, it hurts me so much every day. I feel so confused and my anxiety is through the roof. I am in constant fear and panic. I am scared of leaving him, I am scared to move on and continue exploring my sexuality. I feel so trapped. Not to mention that my family would disown me entirely if I were to ever come out to them. Every day feels like a constant struggle. ... View more

I'm new to these forums. I really need some advice or guidance to how I should go about this. I have Generalised Anxiety Disorder and depression, I'm not sure if this is related to my condition but I have been experiencing intrusive thoughts and overwhelming jealousy in my relationship recently, for irrational reasons. UPDATE: I have been diagnosed with BPD by a mental health professional and currently in treatment.   I have an amazing partner, he loves and cares for me very much and has been so supportive helping me to find treatment and help for my mental health condition. I am very lucky to have him and we have always had an amazing level of trust, honesty and openness between us. I used to be so confident, I would talk about my bisexuality with him, we would talk about other girls together, nothing would ever bother me since I was so confident and loved myself enough to understand that it was purely being sexually experimental, not that he wanted other girls, etc. We had the best relationship, and we still do, as we are extremely close and tell each other everything. I have no reason to doubt him as we share everything with each other. I have never been an overly jealous type either as I always believed in honesty and openness is key to a healthy relationship. But I no longer feel like myself. I am nothing like that anymore, and the change scares me. Recently however, I have found that my self-esteem has plummeted and I find myself constantly comparing myself to girls on Instagram and social media, hating the way I look and being constantly jealousy about him even LOOKING at other girls. I freak out and want to hurt myself because I feel worthless. It's so bad. I have intrusive thoughts about him wanting other girls, when an attractive girl walks past I freak out and get so jealous. These intrusive thoughts are so bad that they give me the urge to self-harm again and even suicidal thoughts, although I have no active intention of doing that. It is so horrible. I constantly start fights with him and get angry because in my head I have convinced myself that he doesn't want me and is hiding so much from me, maybe talking to other girls or chasing them secretly and hiding it from me. This is all irrational as he loves me very much and we want to spend the rest of our lives together. I hate suffering like this with these thoughts.  I really need some advice on how to cope with these, because it is unbearable to feel this way. Is this a result of my condition? Has anyone had a similar experience?  ... View more