@keezeik I think that 'getting over' or moving forward after any kind of past hurt or trauma can be an incredibly frustrating journey especially when it comes to painful memories that we thought we left in the past @queenP has shared some amazing day to day strategies :) journalling and writing fake letters is actually something that i do that helps me process my emotions ... View more

i feel you so much @marieX i look forward to seeing my therapist so much! i always leave feeling like i've clarified confusing feelings and given insight into important thoughts, what do you like about seeing your therapist? ... View more

Ahhhh @mspaceK this sounds so extremely frustrating :( working so hard so often just to have all your earnings go towards paying off an expense is the worst feeling, will you be able to pay off the expense at least since you are working quite a bit? Money problems plus housemates problems is an annoying combination and unfortunately one that I can relate to right now, I think the idea of being able to at least come home and relax in your little zone/area where everything is exactly how you want it to be is what keeps me going through hard days. Coming home to a mess drives me soooo crazy, what has your housemate said when you've brought it up with them? ... View more

@mspaceK I think giving yourself that down/fun time with your boyfriend and friends is a great idea and like you said, will give you something rewarding to look forward to after work :) I find that doing this for myself helps me unwind so much after a long/stressful day at work whether its going out or staying out home, finding the balance that works for you is such important self care! ... View more

Ah i'm so happy to hear @Tiny_leaf :) I find going for walks outside helps clear my head too What do you have planned for the rest of your night? ... View more

What kind of things have you been trying for self care @Tiny_leaf ? :) ... View more

hiya @Tiny_leaf i'm around to talk if you'd like to :) but i would definitely second @xXLexi_Lou122Xx in recommending a crisis chat/hotline if you need immediate support, but I'm here to chat when I can :) ... View more

hi @Maryhadalittlelamb :) @Tiny_leaf has shared some amazing advice that has definitely helped me! Making your environment as safe as can be by removing any objects you would use to self harm while also making your coping strategies/distractions easy to access is a big one Some strategies might work better for you than others, but like @Tiny_leaf mentioned if you can hold off on your urge to act on your thoughts for just a few minutes even you might find that those feelings/thoughts become less and less strong Personally what works for me best is changing my environment (going for a walk, the gym - intense physical activity makes me nice and exhausted!), having a rubber band around my wrist that I can flick, tensing up all my muscles (face/body/fists/everything) really hard and then completely letting go and relaxing- and if I still feel the urge after exhausting these I contact someone that I can trust to talk my thoughts out or contact a crisis hotline/echat Opening up to anyone about self harm is difficult and I can relate to that feeling of letting people down which is so understandable but at the same time not the case! Recovery, especially recovery from self harm is an up and down journey with twists and turns. Someone once told me that a lapse is just that, a lapse, and it doesn't erase any of the progress that you have made :) ... View more

@Beautifullybroken thank you for sharing this! I completely agree with you that the long lasting effects of emotional abuse can often be underestimated. That feeling of being afraid to be vulnerable in order to protect yourself from having them exploited by someone again is such a hard one and something I'm also going through at the moment after being emotionally abused by my ex. The pain that is caused by emotional abuse at the hands of someone we believed to be trustworthy/safe around is indescribable and I think at some level will always stick around with us - but reflecting on these experiences with our peers and fleshing out our feelings and thoughts like we are here is where that healing starts :) ... View more

Happy belated birthday @redhead !!!!! :) I haven’t been around the forums for as long as most but in that little time it has been so incredibly heartwarming to see you grow, to see your strength and to see the way you inspire and build confidence in others :) I am lost for anymore words and will miss you terribly on the forums, but I have full confidence in that whatever comes next for you that you will be ready and you will conquer it!  ... View more

I looove making those little origami puffy stars @Tiny_leaf ! I have jars filled with them in my room, a great distraction and cute reminder of your resilience and strength :) ... View more

I imagine that the distance from your supports would make things even harder I’m sorry to hear that @Eden1717 :( I know that my university has counsellors on campus that can help guide students to the appropriate services and lend a helping ear - do you think that giving something similar a try if your university has any similar services would be something you could do? ... View more

It sounds like this is all causing you a lot of stress @Eden1717, trying to take care of yourself and manage your studies AND seeking support let alone knowing exactly where to seek support from is so much for one person to juggle at once and I can definitely relate to that feeling of just not knowing what to do anymore. You mentioned that you spoke to Disability Services but that there was nothing they could do to help support you, have you reached out to anyone else about how you’re feeling right now? Even friends or family? ... View more

These are great ideas thank you for sharing @Tiny_leaf !   I like to try do things that will hold my focus until the feelings/thoughts pass like: - having a cold/hot shower with some loud upbeat music playing - sorting through my clothes/organising or folding washing - cooking a meal that will take time and attention - cleaning my room/bathroom/kitchen   and if the feelings don’t pass - reaching out to a trusted friend (provided they are in a safe headspace themselves and can give the emotional energy) or logging onto an online chat   ... View more

@redhead I think when things get really, really bad we can often surprise ourselves with our ability to care for and protect ourselves especially when things seem impossible or hopeless. The human spirit is so resilient and I think that the people who go through the most shit but might not believe in their ability to fight back end up being the ones who are the strongest! ... View more

@redhead you are SO strong and doing so well by yourself right now to ensure your safety in spite of everything that’s happened for you recently. 2 months without sh is such a huge accomplishment that you should pride yourself on, you hold so much resilience inside you and I’m constantly seeing you bouncing back stronger and stronger though anything that life throws at you. It is so understandable that walking home would have brought up these feelings of panic and paranoia but despite this you’ve told us that you’re safe and getting help - I am so proud of you :) ... View more

@WheresMySquishy  ah such a good article!!!! I’ve read it over so many times before :) I’m in the process of making a distraction box actually and filling it with photos, messages from people that I love, stim toys, supportive notes that tutors have given me on essays that im proud of and stuff like that to remind me of things that fill me with love, passion and inspiration :)   the only thing I’m a bit apprehensive about is making my environment safe. I’ve removed any methods and means from my own room, bathroom and my things but during my last lapse I found something left out by one of my housemates. I’m very open with both of them about my mental health and the whole situation with my ex and they’re endlessly supportive but I’ve only opened up about SH to a few trusted friends and my housemates don’t know. I want to mention it, but I’m not sure how to go about it? It’s so private, embarrassing, makes me feel weak and ashamed and it feels almost pathetic that I need to ask them to hide this thing in order to make the home safe for me/or at least harder for me to follow through I don’t think I can ask in person I would end up crying and panicking, I think I could maybe send one of them that I trust more a message maybe? ... View more

@Jane_Rose @Bee @ecla34 @Jess1-RO Thank you all so much for your support :) The psychologist went very well! The practice was super nice and welcoming and my psychologist was patient and understanding. It was the first time that I've ever told a professional about SH and it felt relieving to be honest. I'm excited to see how things will go :)   I've been doing a lot of seeing/talking to friends and making sure that I push myself to reach out when I need support. I've been taking long showers, keeping my room/spaces clean and organised, purging the clothes I don't wear anymore, keeping a diary, going to the gym, budgeting my spendings, getting more sleep and cutting down my drinking for self care :)   @Jess1-RO I feel like it was the right decision in order to put myself first and take a step back and reclaim my life. But I've been experiencing a lot of severe anxiety and insecurity now as a result of not being committed but still being in love with him. Its lead to a few panic attacks and outbursts that I'm not proud of and while I've been able to reflect on them and understand where those emotions are coming from its been really difficult because I'm not usually an insecure or jealous person and don't often feed into my anxieties so I feel out of control/weak for not being able to control myself.   I opened up to my mum and dad about the break up and how I'm feeling, they were super supportive and kind. My friends have been so amazing and I don't know what I would've done during this period without their unwavering support, I'm so lucky to have them and everyone here :)   @mrmusic today has been up and down, I started my semester 1 class today which caused me a bit of anxiety but it was really interesting and I think I'll enjoy the class content at least! I spoke to my ex briefly, which went fine but caused me to spiral into a bit of an anxious panic but not to worry - I bought some dumplings and put on the incredibles :) I spent my morning talking to one of my housemates who is having problems with his girlfriend and was feeling suicidal, that was a bit hard but it was good to chat and I was glad to see him open up because he is usually quite private. ... View more

It sounds like today/tonight has been really frustrating and hard for you @litgym :( Finding just the right psychologist for you can be such a difficult and tiring process and it sounds like things with your mum and khl aren't making things any easier for you right now. This is so much for one person to handle at once and I can hear how much this is affecting you. However I can say with the upmost confidence that you mean SO much to the RO community and everyone here. I am always seeing you pull not only yourself through difficult times but other members on the forum too. You bring so much strength and light to the forums and I always smile seeing the way that you support yourself and others :) How are you feeling now? x ... View more

a walk sounds like a good idea to clear your head and keep busy :) I actually did the same last night when I wasn't feeling well myself, are you listening to any music while you walk? ... View more

that is totally okay @redhead, what are you up to right now? :) ... View more

How was the session and seeing friends? I'm so happy to hear that you're being proactive about keeping yourself safe by looking at your safety plan @redhead despite how scared you're feeling :) is there anything on there that you can put into place for tonight to get you through until you see your CM tomorrow? ... View more

I can understand how scared that would be making you feel right now @redhead, but I am  glad to hear that you're safe :) Are you with friends playing dnd now? That sounds like it will be a good distraction this evening, will you be with them for a while?   ... View more

thats understandable @litgym, a little bit of support from lifeline sounds like a good idea then and i'm proud of you for recognising when you need that! a little bit of organising stationary and music sounds like a nice distraction, do you have any other plans for your night?   ... View more

how is the walk @redhead? do you have any plans for when you get there? ... View more

life can be so overwhelming sometimes! i'm right there with you in wanting things to stop, I always think about being able to just hit pause and take a break from everything is there anything you could do right now to remind you of the good stuff? maybe a little kesha and a little colouring! ... View more

hey @litgym, i'm up for a chat! whats on your mind? ... View more

That so great @redhead 3 days a week! I wish I was half as dedicated as you, I can never stick with going to the gym regularly I've heard that some people get that result, it happens sometimes for me but not so much most of the time. Usually it helps clear my head or gets me focussed just on the task at hand which can help. What are you watching on netflix? Do you think multitasking and doing something else at the same time might help quiet the voices?   ... View more