Happy belated birthday @redhead !!!!! :) I haven’t been around the forums for as long as most but in that little time it has been so incredibly heartwarming to see you grow, to see your strength and to see the way you inspire and build confidence in others :) I am lost for anymore words and will miss you terribly on the forums, but I have full confidence in that whatever comes next for you that you will be ready and you will conquer it!  ... View more

I looove making those little origami puffy stars @Tiny_leaf ! I have jars filled with them in my room, a great distraction and cute reminder of your resilience and strength :) ... View more

I imagine that the distance from your supports would make things even harder I’m sorry to hear that @Eden1717 :( I know that my university has counsellors on campus that can help guide students to the appropriate services and lend a helping ear - do you think that giving something similar a try if your university has any similar services would be something you could do? ... View more

It sounds like this is all causing you a lot of stress @Eden1717, trying to take care of yourself and manage your studies AND seeking support let alone knowing exactly where to seek support from is so much for one person to juggle at once and I can definitely relate to that feeling of just not knowing what to do anymore. You mentioned that you spoke to Disability Services but that there was nothing they could do to help support you, have you reached out to anyone else about how you’re feeling right now? Even friends or family? ... View more

These are great ideas thank you for sharing @Tiny_leaf !   I like to try do things that will hold my focus until the feelings/thoughts pass like: - having a cold/hot shower with some loud upbeat music playing - sorting through my clothes/organising or folding washing - cooking a meal that will take time and attention - cleaning my room/bathroom/kitchen   and if the feelings don’t pass - reaching out to a trusted friend (provided they are in a safe headspace themselves and can give the emotional energy) or logging onto an online chat   ... View more

@redhead I think when things get really, really bad we can often surprise ourselves with our ability to care for and protect ourselves especially when things seem impossible or hopeless. The human spirit is so resilient and I think that the people who go through the most shit but might not believe in their ability to fight back end up being the ones who are the strongest! ... View more

@redhead you are SO strong and doing so well by yourself right now to ensure your safety in spite of everything that’s happened for you recently. 2 months without sh is such a huge accomplishment that you should pride yourself on, you hold so much resilience inside you and I’m constantly seeing you bouncing back stronger and stronger though anything that life throws at you. It is so understandable that walking home would have brought up these feelings of panic and paranoia but despite this you’ve told us that you’re safe and getting help - I am so proud of you :) ... View more

@WheresMySquishy  ah such a good article!!!! I’ve read it over so many times before :) I’m in the process of making a distraction box actually and filling it with photos, messages from people that I love, stim toys, supportive notes that tutors have given me on essays that im proud of and stuff like that to remind me of things that fill me with love, passion and inspiration :)   the only thing I’m a bit apprehensive about is making my environment safe. I’ve removed any methods and means from my own room, bathroom and my things but during my last lapse I found something left out by one of my housemates. I’m very open with both of them about my mental health and the whole situation with my ex and they’re endlessly supportive but I’ve only opened up about SH to a few trusted friends and my housemates don’t know. I want to mention it, but I’m not sure how to go about it? It’s so private, embarrassing, makes me feel weak and ashamed and it feels almost pathetic that I need to ask them to hide this thing in order to make the home safe for me/or at least harder for me to follow through I don’t think I can ask in person I would end up crying and panicking, I think I could maybe send one of them that I trust more a message maybe? ... View more

@Jane_Rose @Bee @ecla34 @Jess1-RO Thank you all so much for your support :) The psychologist went very well! The practice was super nice and welcoming and my psychologist was patient and understanding. It was the first time that I've ever told a professional about SH and it felt relieving to be honest. I'm excited to see how things will go :)   I've been doing a lot of seeing/talking to friends and making sure that I push myself to reach out when I need support. I've been taking long showers, keeping my room/spaces clean and organised, purging the clothes I don't wear anymore, keeping a diary, going to the gym, budgeting my spendings, getting more sleep and cutting down my drinking for self care :)   @Jess1-RO I feel like it was the right decision in order to put myself first and take a step back and reclaim my life. But I've been experiencing a lot of severe anxiety and insecurity now as a result of not being committed but still being in love with him. Its lead to a few panic attacks and outbursts that I'm not proud of and while I've been able to reflect on them and understand where those emotions are coming from its been really difficult because I'm not usually an insecure or jealous person and don't often feed into my anxieties so I feel out of control/weak for not being able to control myself.   I opened up to my mum and dad about the break up and how I'm feeling, they were super supportive and kind. My friends have been so amazing and I don't know what I would've done during this period without their unwavering support, I'm so lucky to have them and everyone here :)   @mrmusic today has been up and down, I started my semester 1 class today which caused me a bit of anxiety but it was really interesting and I think I'll enjoy the class content at least! I spoke to my ex briefly, which went fine but caused me to spiral into a bit of an anxious panic but not to worry - I bought some dumplings and put on the incredibles :) I spent my morning talking to one of my housemates who is having problems with his girlfriend and was feeling suicidal, that was a bit hard but it was good to chat and I was glad to see him open up because he is usually quite private. ... View more

It sounds like today/tonight has been really frustrating and hard for you @litgym :( Finding just the right psychologist for you can be such a difficult and tiring process and it sounds like things with your mum and khl aren't making things any easier for you right now. This is so much for one person to handle at once and I can hear how much this is affecting you. However I can say with the upmost confidence that you mean SO much to the RO community and everyone here. I am always seeing you pull not only yourself through difficult times but other members on the forum too. You bring so much strength and light to the forums and I always smile seeing the way that you support yourself and others :) How are you feeling now? x ... View more

a walk sounds like a good idea to clear your head and keep busy :) I actually did the same last night when I wasn't feeling well myself, are you listening to any music while you walk? ... View more

that is totally okay @redhead, what are you up to right now? :) ... View more

How was the session and seeing friends? I'm so happy to hear that you're being proactive about keeping yourself safe by looking at your safety plan @redhead despite how scared you're feeling :) is there anything on there that you can put into place for tonight to get you through until you see your CM tomorrow? ... View more

I can understand how scared that would be making you feel right now @redhead, but I am  glad to hear that you're safe :) Are you with friends playing dnd now? That sounds like it will be a good distraction this evening, will you be with them for a while?   ... View more

thats understandable @litgym, a little bit of support from lifeline sounds like a good idea then and i'm proud of you for recognising when you need that! a little bit of organising stationary and music sounds like a nice distraction, do you have any other plans for your night?   ... View more

how is the walk @redhead? do you have any plans for when you get there? ... View more

life can be so overwhelming sometimes! i'm right there with you in wanting things to stop, I always think about being able to just hit pause and take a break from everything is there anything you could do right now to remind you of the good stuff? maybe a little kesha and a little colouring! ... View more

hey @litgym, i'm up for a chat! whats on your mind? ... View more

That so great @redhead 3 days a week! I wish I was half as dedicated as you, I can never stick with going to the gym regularly I've heard that some people get that result, it happens sometimes for me but not so much most of the time. Usually it helps clear my head or gets me focussed just on the task at hand which can help. What are you watching on netflix? Do you think multitasking and doing something else at the same time might help quiet the voices?   ... View more

Is working out at the gym usually a strategy that helps you with pushing through the sh thoughts @redhead? That’s frustrating that working out didn’t help this time, is there anything else that’s worked for you before? Here to support and help brainstorm ideas if you’re unsure ❤️ ... View more

Ps @litgym and @annabethxchase your support for one another that I see everytime I log in is so inspiring and makes me smile SO much! You both have such kind and caring hearts and would make such incredible builders/mods :’) ... View more

So incredibly proud of you @annabethxchase for talking to khl about that, talking about sh with people out loud is so terribly nerve wracking, I’ve only been able to be open about it to a few people close to me. I know how difficult opening up can be and you are SO strong for doing so!   ... View more

I’m so glad to hear @redhead! This evening sounds like it will be a fun relaxing time, I hope you enjoy yourself! ... View more

how are you feeling today @redhead? ... View more

I hope the early night let’s you wake up feeling rested and lighter @annabethxchase it sounds like today has been very draining on you. Having your feelings invalidated like that is horrible, especially by a parent. But like @Esperanza67 said, that’s what we are here for and what makes communities like RO so SO important! @ecla34 is spot on too, you have such a big heart and I always always always smile seeing the support and guidance that you share on here and we will always be here to give that back to you! Thinking of you x ... View more

Ps @redhead just wanna chime in and remind you how strong you are! Checking in, no matter how hard things have been is not an easy thing AND supporting other members around the forum at the same time Relapse is difficult, but a lapse doesn’t undo all the progress you’ve made. Recovery isn’t straight forward and has it speed bumps. ... View more

the strength you’ve shown and the support and guidance you’ve shared on here will live on @redhead, @TOM-RO is right on the money! change can be hard and is something we all struggle with, diversifying you’re supports now in preparation might make the transition more gentle ... View more

Today I practiced self care by having a lay down in a quiet room by myself away from everyone when the festivities and people became too overwhelming 💪🏻 ... View more

so happy to hear you squeezed in some self care @annabethxchase! what movie did you watch? I just finished watching love actually for the second time this week, because why not  ... View more