Oh you're so lucky! I don't have a TV in my room. What have you been watching?    I have! My grandparents came for a visit last night (they live 5 hours away), and my girlfriend is coming over for dinner tonight! ... View more

I'm good, how are you? @Bananatime04    What's on for the weekend?  ... View more

Hi @tasminspeedd,    First off, thanks for reaching out. It can be tough to talk about romantic feelings, so way to go for sharing!   Secondly, I think it is great that you want to talk to your friend about how you feel, and I totally understand how scary it can be. I would suggest just sitting down with him and being completely honest - he may feel the same way, and if he doesn't, then at least you have brought it up in a mature and casual way that makes it easy to move on from.    Showing someone your feelings it one of the most vulnerable things you can do, so it will probably be a bit nerve-wracking. But vulnerability is also the birthplace of all the best things, including love. I remember when I told my best friend that I had feelings for her - it was daunting and scary, but now, we have been girlfriends ever since!    Good luck, and remember that we are all here for you, no matter the outcome :)  ... View more

BANKS - Propaganda  ... View more

1. I had the day off work 2. My grandparents came to visit, and I don't get to see them very often 3. My cat sat on the lounge with me for the afternoon :)  ... View more

I'm sorry to hear about your Pop @Bananatime04. My Pop has recently had cancer, so I know how tough it can be to have a tough grandparent. He is lucky to have a granddaughter like you :)    I think I will just hang out with my sister and my girlfriend after volunteering. Most of my friends are away for the holidays, so it's just me! I think I might like to visit my aunts and uncles back in my hometown, so I might try and do that after volunteering.  ... View more

That is AWESOME! Do you know what kind of job you'd like? I'm guessing that means it is your birthday in 2 days then??   I don't have much going on besides a lot of work but I really like my job so I don't mind. I am doing a bit of volunteer work as a research assistant for the Black Dog Institute over the next month or so which should be good fun, and my grandparents are coming to visit on the weekend!    What about you?  ... View more

Hey @Bananatime04 !!!! I am good! I've been super busy - I just finished uni for the semester and have been doing a lot of extra work at my job so I haven't been able to log on for a while. How are you?  ... View more

What a fantastic idea! As someone who has always struggled with perfectionism as part of my OCD, I have always found it hard to not be 100% great at something or to make mistakes in front of other people. This is something I have been consciously working on for some time now, and while I am recovering slowly, it feels good to let myself off the hook.   1.  This week, I sent my family a recording of myself playing a piano song that I have been teaching myself. It wasn't perfect, but I was proud of my efforts because I had managed to make some awesome progress. It felt a little uncomfortable, but my Nan and my girlfriend gave me some really lovely feedback.   In addition, I got back some uni results yesterday and I wasn't very happy with my Maths mark. Instead of giving up on myself, I have enrolled in another Maths course next year so I can improve my skills and continuing learning and growing.    and   2. In the past, I had a big problem with the idea of failure. The only test I have ever failed was my Grade 7 music exam. After I received my results, I stopped playing clarinet. This was a big mistake. I let my disappointment and shame scare me away from a hobby I enjoyed. If I had my time over, I would work hard and try the exam again rather than seeing it as a personal limitation or a defect in my character. I have recently started playing clarinet again, and am going to try out for my university symphony next semester. The audition process is a little scary, but I am worth the shot! ... View more

hey @tasminspeedd, I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a tough time at the moment. Self harm can be quite difficult to overcome, and I know from experience how sometimes people don't understand that it isn't an attention-seeking behaviour, but a coping mechanism.   I think @Tiny_leaf's suggestions are awesome - I've talked to Kids Helpline via their webchat before and it was awesome. No one knew, and it was free, which is great. Would you feel comfortable giving this a try?    Also, if you were up for trying some alternatives to self-harm, here are a few things that worked for me: Holding ice-cubes until they melted - the cold shocked my system a bit, and was very sensory Smashing ice-cubes with a hammer - got out some of my aggression and gave some relief Eating sour lollies - again, kind of the sensory shock Cold showers  Squeezing putty - if you can't get some putty, BlueTack from school does the trick too   Congratulations on reaching out for some support. I know you feel quite alone at the moment from what you've said, but know that the RO community is always here for you, and that I am always up for a chat. You can do this, just take one step at a time :)  ... View more

Today I practiced self-care by having a cup of tea in bed and a sleep-in before work ... View more

Why it's okay to question your sexuality – and what you can do about it. I like to think that it is okay to question your sexuality because heterosexuality is not the default setting for everyone, and therefore should not be assumed of everyone. Everyone, gay, straight, bi, or otherwise, takes time to get comfortable with themselves as a sexual being, and for some people, this may incorporate a bit of uncertainty about who you are attracted to. This is completely okay, because this is not always straightforward.   At 20 years old, I now identify as a lesbian who is exclusively attracted to women, but I know that when I was first coming to terms with my sexuality, the question of who I was attracted to did not always have a clear answer. It took me quite some time to differentiate between the different types of attraction - sexual attraction, romantic attraction, aesthetic attraction, sensual attraction, etc - and to determine for myself which forms of attraction needed to be present in order for me to consider being in a relationship with someone.    No one gives you a rulebook when it comes to understanding sexual attraction, and is often more gray than black and white. While sexuality is something that just eventually feels right, it is completely okay to experiment with different identities and sexualities until you find the version of yourself that feels the most authentic. There is no right or wrong answer, so don't be afraid.  ... View more

I am proud of myself for persevering and making good choices even though I have been experiencing a lot of anxiety.  ... View more

My sister and I did a good deed for someone in need I got through 2 practice papers for my exam on Friday My cat slept on my bed with me while I studied all day :)  ... View more

Hey @scared01, thanks for the update. I'm sorry to hear that things are tough for you at the moment, please know that I am thinking of you. Is there anything you wanted to talk about, or are you just keen for a bit of a distraction?  ... View more

Hi @Jess1-RO, thank you so much for your kind response. I have mentioned my OCD to my partner before, but have not specifically outlined how it affects me with regard to doubts about her and our relationship because we have only recently started seeing each other again. I broke up with her after 6 months of dating because I was finding it difficult to cope with the level of anxiety I was experiencing, which she understands and was supportive of. However, I don't want to scare her off or make her feel as though she isn't enough for me, because the reality is that my mind is just perceiving threats that aren't there. I think for if we do start to see each other more seriously, then perhaps I will bring it up with her in depth so we can discuss some boundaries and how best she can support me, but for now, I'm going to try and enjoy her company and chat with my psychologist about some strategies to push through the anxiety I experience and be present.  ... View more

I guess it's hard because it feels like more than thoughts, it feels like my emotions towards this girl are blunted from time to time and it makes me question my feelings for her. It's horrible! But I am persevering and just trying not to Google anything (I normally research when I am being compulsive).  ... View more

My exam went well I met up with one of my friends afterwards for coffee I have chance to relax and take a break before my next exam  ... View more

Hello fellow OCDers! I hope you are all doing well and that pesky obsessions and compulsions aren't getting you down too much :)    I just wanted to ask - have any of you experienced relationship OCD before? I am going through it at the moment and it is so hard! Normally OCD is all about me, and I am the only one that suffers the consequences of my decisions when I indulge in compulsions or when I experience doubt and anxiety. But now, someone else's feelings are on the line and I feel I am putting so much weight on their shoulders. Can anyone relate or give me some pointers?  ... View more

Hi @Fb0134, sorry to hear that you're still struggling with your identity, it can be really tough.    While my experience was with my sexuality rather than gender, I can certainly empathise with that feeling of impatience - like I need my identity to be sorted and clear to me right now. It can be tough hanging around in limbo not knowing who you are.   If you're currently not sure, my Gender Studies professor shared an interesting thing with me - have you ever seen an androgynous person on say a bus or a train, and not tried to figure out what gender they identify with? Have you ever looked at a man or woman, and instead of thinking of them as a man or a woman, thought of them as a red-head, or a young person, or something totally separate from gender? It can be hard, but I found it a useful tool. After all, labels, while helpful and empowering for some, can be limiting for others, particularly when they feel as though they have to find a lane and stay in it. Gender can be fluid, continuous, every-changing, fluctuating and completely individual and unique. If you can't find a label right now, that's okay! Some people don't even use them.   If a label is something you'd like to eventually land on, I would recommend taking some time to explore yourself as an individual. When I first landed on being a lesbian, I would take time to myself to do things that felt 'masculine' and see how it felt. I would test out wearing feminine clothes, and masculine clothes, and eventually worked out what felt right to me. While identifying as a woman, I still do things that are quite masculine and I don't often see my female relatives doing, and that's okay with me, because I have decided to be a woman in my own way. There is no right label, it is whatever you feel most comfortable with, so give yourself the space and time to find out what that is.    Sending lots of love xx ... View more

Hey @Matty D, I'm sorry that these old posts are bringing up so many difficult emotions for you. I know you said that your normal hobbies aren't helping take your mind off things, but it's great that you've tried to engage with your weekend activities as normal anyway, that's really positive.    I hope you know that I agree, you are fully entitled to apologise. Often people will say 'oh no need to apologise' as they don't want people to carry any unnecessary burden, but now that we know that it is a coping strategy that helps you feel okay, then I'm sure we can all respect that going forward. Does that sound okay from your end?  ... View more

Oh wow, that's a long drive!    My day started out dodgy as I was sick last night and this morning, but I'm feeling a lot better now. I got lots of study done for my exams in a few weeks, and I also went for a walk around the bay near my house while the sun went down, which was awesome!   Are you back to school tomorrow?  ... View more

Toad  ... View more

glider ... View more

Hi @Fb0134, thank you for reaching out. As a lesbian woman, I know how difficult it can be to explore your gender identity, especially on your own. I think @not-an-otter's suggestion of exploring Youtube channels about gender expression is a fantastic idea, I know that seeing people represented that were like me was a huge help when I was coming out.    If you don't mind me asking, have you discussed your feelings with someone you trust or a counsellor/psychologist? If you feel comfortable, it can be really helpful to have someone to talk to.    Thinking of you, always here for a chat  ... View more

Sure am! How's your day been?    ... View more

Take a Walk - Passion Pit    (I listened to this while I went for a walk hahaha)  ... View more

I have the day off work I had a nice quiet breakfast by myself and got a chance to read my book My Dad is cooking slow-cooked ribs for dinner, and the smell of them is wafting through the house and I can't wait to eat them! ... View more

What are some of your rights at work? To be respected To feel safe To be paid for the time you put in Not to be discriminated against for your gender, age, sexuality, race, religion or any other personal factor Not to be excluded or bullied To feel valued  To have a voice and be able to have input To be able to bring up issues with management without experiencing adverse consequences How do you deal with workplace bullying? Personally, I have a great working relationship with my manager, so I personally feel confident that if ever I were bullied, I could let him know and it would be dealt with effectively and confidentially. However, sometimes I find it easier to address the situation myself and discuss my feelings with the person that has offended me or done me wrong. I recognise that not everyone is in a position to do this, and that I am privileged to have a safe and respectful work environment.    How do you balance school (VCE or uni) and work? I worked throughout my HSC, and have had a job for the entirety of uni because it is a great way to take a break from studying while earning some money. Here are my strategies: Have boundaries - let management know what days you can and can't work, and don't bend to their pressure if they would like you to work on days when you know you can't.  Take time off - as a casual employee, you are entitled to have days off. If ever I have exams or assignments coming up, I make sure to take the day before they are due off to ensure I can still study and complete uni work to my full capacity. Have an organisational system - I work most weekends and during the week, so I make a list of all the study I need to get done on those days. The level of work I plan to do changes based on how many hours I have to work, and I tick things off as I go. Set realistic goals - On days when I work 9-5, or late into the evening, I don't plan to study, because I know I will be exhausted and won't produce my best work.  ... View more

Hey @Bananatime04, have a good time at the wedding today!    ... View more