[L] Does anyone like pizza? ... View more

[R] Not As Difficult, Just Suspicious? (I don't know :P)   S L E E P ... View more

[R] @Andrea-RO Thanks for your message. We can’t book another appointment with her because she’s on leave for a month, but I’m going to talk to our trans-specialised psychologist at some point to talk about HRT.   That would be good if we could do that. Ce has been designated for helping with suicidal feelings, but it doesn’t really work if she gets suicidal and miserable herself. It would be good to share the load if everyone wasn’t so afraid to. ... View more

[R] Are you assuming I haven’t (I actually have)? ... View more

[R] Damn. I had everything typed out and then it all got deleted without saving as a draft.   Thanks @Bre-RO.   There’s a new person (who we’ll call Du) who seems to be a split off part of me that’s now separate. Not sure what we’re going to do with her, but she seems nice. I’d like her to stick around, but I’m not sure what’s going to happen about her, especially since we’re still figuring out what to do with V.   Also, psychologist’s didn’t go well. Because it didn’t go at all. Our appointment got cancelled.   Also also, I’m a bit annoyed that we have a larger system than most others we’ve met but barely anyone is willing to switch in most of the time because they’re afraid of dysphoria and suicidal feelings. A*’s talked to both D and I about feeling guilty about not switching in when I need it. Although that is the job that L’s supposed to do, but I don’t think I’ve talked to her since the weekend.   [Du] I also wanted to thank you @Bre-RO. I don’t have much to add, but personally I hope since I used to be a piece of R that I’ll be allowed to stay. ... View more

[R] @TOM-RO Thanks.   I’ve been really suicidal the past two days. I’ve been pretty bad this morning and yesterday I could barely get anything done I was feeling so bad. I’m still safe though even though I don’t really want to be because of the system rule and because I saw on Wikipedia (the world’s most trustworthy website) that only 8% of attempts actually work, so that’s been a bit discouraging.   Also we have a new in-system issue to deal with. One of us will explain later. ... View more

[R] Who knows who knows? ... View more

[R] Who knows? ... View more

[R] @Andrea-RO I'm not going so great. Haven't talked with Ce today. I've been really stressed out over school work today and our mum keeps scaring me into thinking that we might have to repeat the year if I don't go to classes and do the work (which our anxiety is preventing). HRT is still something I've been thinking about today, but we still probably will need about another month and a half minimum before we would be able to begin, as an estimate.   That might be a good idea, before she goes on leave for a month. ... View more

[R] Me, or someone else in our system? ... View more

[R] Me? ... View more

[R] Are you? ... View more

[R] Is who hungry? ... View more

[R] Who knows? ... View more

[R] @TOM-RO It’s quite intimidating for us all. It was really stressing Ce out earlier. I just asked if she was alright, and she said mostly.   She was panicking over not getting much work done mostly, and there was a bit about how we’re going to manage everything. We have a lot of work to do, a bunch of us are in pain, and we’re still having to keep secrets for better or worse and make some massive life decisions. I usually don’t do that well when I’m panicking, but I regularly get worse than she did. Hopefully we’ll be more productive tomorrow. She wasn’t unsafe, and the system rule of not trying to kill us all still applies. ... View more

[Ce] Pyre ... View more

[Ce] I'm supposed to be doing work, but I'm too stressed out to do it. I'm procrastinating, I'm terrified of doing the work, I'm worried about whether the rest of the system is making the right decision about HRT, and I wasn't meant to switch in today, but I've been switched in for the last three hours, and I'm starting to feel a bit suicidal even though I said my job was supposed to be helping everyone else manage their feelings of suicide. I'm panicking and don't know what to do. ... View more

[Ce] What about parentheses? ... View more

[Ce] *makes a joke about my pseudonym being the chemical symbol for cerium* ... View more

[R] @Jess1-RO We're thinking of seeing our mum's psychologist who works in the same building, so that we'd be able to talk to someone who already knows (most) of what we've been going through. We have one more session with her this week I think, but I'm not sure on what day.   I might talk about that other thing I wanted to talk about later, because we have a lot of school work to do this weekend and need to get as much of that done as possible.   Firstly, Ce is part of the system now, but V still isn't. She was accepted in on Wednesday or Thursday after our system had a long discussion on whether or not we should accept either of them in. Since we didn't have much work at the time, we typed out our conversation onto a Word document for about the next hour so it looked like we were working.   I also wanted to mention that yesterday I saw the "gender clinic" person and the "psychiatrist" because I got both of those labels wrong, the first is a professor at an adolescent clinic at the hospital who I've just called the gender clinic person because I'd already made the mistake and it was just easier, and the second is another GP with an interest in helping trans people, and I must have not been listening properly.   The first appointment was only about 15 minutes long because the professor was nearly an hour late and we had to get to the next appointment, so not much happened there except we got a referral to someone else for something or other. When I saw the GP though, she said we wouldn't need to see that person and we'd just need to get a bone scan thingo and get everything sorted with the IVF people before we can get HRT, which is really exciting, but also pretty terrifying to know how close we are.   One thing I am concerned about though is I've seen a letter that I probably wasn't supposed to from the professor at the adolescent clinic to our original GP, that said something about having to wait until we're 18. I'm not sure why we'd need to do that, and he didn't say anything about this on either of our appointments.   Also, we haven't made it to any more classes, and we still have to see our original GP for the B12 issue. School work is stressful, and there's some system stuff we have to deal with as well. ... View more

[L] Not much happened on the weekend, but we have some news. R stayed switched in for school today, and we won’t be able to see our psychologist for a period of a month.   Our GP also didn’t tell us this before giving us the anti-anxiety medication, but the blood tests that A took showed that we are very deficient in B12, which could be causing us to be so tired all of the time. Our GP has been on holiday for a little while, and this wasn’t in his notes. Our mum thinks that being B12-deficient could be affecting our anxiety.   I’m still switched in from the psychologist’s (I went again), and I had about an hour-long nap with the body because I got really tired not long after switching in and nearly fell asleep a few times while I was there, and I woke up still switched in, which is cool.   I think R wanted to talk about other things but that’s a general update on what’s been happening recently. ... View more

[A] Thanks :) ... View more

[A] @Bananatime04 11yo papillon ... View more

[A] @Bananatime04 Mostly lots of homework. And it's one of our dogs' birthday today. What about you? ... View more

[A] @Bananatime04 Yeah, we did. ... View more

[R] Good morning ... View more

[D] Thank you for your lovely message @Bre-RO :) I think at some point when J was switched in R automatically switched back in, so it's a bit tricky to tell how much of today's time at school either of those two had. ... View more

[D] Thank you @Taylor-RO. I’m not switching in for school today because J’s about to in a few minutes. We got a nice sleep last night, and I’m not as stressed today. R’s still a bit stressed out from rushing around this morning to get ready (she’s still waking up with our body), so hopefully J will be able to handle things today. ... View more

[D] Thank you @Bre-RO and @Tiny_leaf. I lasted through school (I mean staying switched in, I still had to leave early because of stress).   I’m not used to being switched in for this long. That was probably around eight hours I was switched in, and I think the longest time I’d been switched in before today was about three or maybe four hours. Not long after getting home, R switched in randomly and has been until she let me switch in to write this. She’s doing better today. I’m still recovering a bit from the stress. ... View more

[D] R went with her plan and I’m switched in for now. I’m scared for how I’m going to go today. ... View more