Who do you look up to for self-positivity? [R] Probably for me, some of the other members of this system. A and T both commented today, and the two of them are usually quite confident in and positive towards themselves, and they've been positive influences on how I see myself now too. I'd also say that some of my friends on the outside have also been inspirational for me in accepting themselves and trying to be less negative. ... View more

How can we be more positive towards ourselves? [R] I'm not too sure about this one, but I'll try to give an answer. I think that it might help to realise that everyone make mistakes and that your perception of yourself might not reflect how you actually are. Again, I know this is a lot easier said than done, and learning to be more positive towards ourselves can take a while.   [A] R wasn't sure what else to say, but I think being able to accept yourself for who you are can be a big help. The fact that you want to be more positive towards yourself can also be a step in the right direction. This can be a bit of a journey. ... View more

Is it easier to be positive towards ourselves or to others? [R] I think to other people on the outside, it's easier to be positive towards them rather than ourselves because we tend to be more critical of ourselves and regret the mistakes we make. It may differ for different people, but in my experience it's a lot easier to notice the negative stuff about me than it is to notice that for other people. Our system is probably the only one that is active here on ReachOut, but I can also say internally it's easier for me to see everyone else as better people than I am, even though they may not necessarily agree (either viewing themselves negatively or viewing me as being too harsh on myself). That's not to say they don't make mistakes, we all do, but the same principle about being positive towards other people being easier seems to apply, at least for me. ... View more

[R] @WheresMySquishy I know how that feels to have been bullied in the past and feel worse about who you are as a result. It's not always easy, but viewing our mistakes as lessons can help us not be so hard on ourselves. We're (people in general) probably harsher on ourselves and perceive ourselves more negatively than we should. ... View more

[R] @ecla34 I can relate to what you've said. The way we talk to ourselves can have quite an impact on how we see ourselves. It's good to hear you've been able to work towards being more positive and that's helped. :) ... View more

Do you find it easy to be self-positive? If not, why? [R] Personally, I don't. The reason why is because for a long time I've kind of hidden who I am by using a "persona" of sorts to try and conform to what societal roles dictated, and because I now have realised that I don't match up with who I am "supposed to be", things do get a bit difficult for me. Gender dysphoria is not a great feeling. But it has helped to have five other people in our system, as well as online counsellors and other people on the outside who care about me. And over time, mainly they've slowly been helping me see that I'm a good person and that I'm too hard on myself a lot of the time. I probably still pretty hard on myself now, but not as much as I used to be.   Also, just as a clarification, when I say "system" I'm referring to the six of us who share this body and use this account (me, A, D, J, T and S).   [T] I wanted to comment here too. I'm usually quite positive about myself and life in general. I'm not sure why, but compared to everyone else here, I just find it easier. I don't get much interaction with people on the outside, and most of my interactions have been either online or in our system, but I've always tried to be kind to everyone I've met, and try to make them laugh. I want to be able to make other people happy, and that helps me feel better about myself. I haven't personally gone through a lot of the difficult times R has, so maybe that's why I'm not so hard on myself. ... View more

[R] Victory! ... View more

[R] Just got the email notification that this had started. I'm going to do these two questions, and maybe someone else in our system could answer some other ones. We'll see.   What are some benefits of self positivity? Some that I can think of are being able to be in a better mood overall, as well as reducing your levels of stress and making you feel more confident about yourself. Self-positivity may also help you accept yourself for who you are and reduce negative self-talk.   What have you learned by being self-positive? I'll be honest, I'm not always that self-positive, but with help from other members of my system, I've learned how to be more accepting of who I am and it's helped me feel a bit better even though we're going through a pretty tough time. It took me a few months to get my head around being a trans girl and non-binary, but self-positivity has helped get me through some of my low points and it's helped me deal with other outside pressures as well. ... View more

[R] @Taylor-RO I was going to make it even worse last night, because I was going to stay up to finish off some study notes a teacher wanted me to hand in today. Our mum told me not to worry about it, and I didn't end up going to school anyway. Today I'm going to try to finish some other work off, but I don't know what I'm doing for some of the essay plans I have to do. The dysphoria and suicidality is out of my control and that's keeping me up, yes.   I wasn't going very well this morning and slept for about an extra two hours after being granted permission to stay home. There have been six days of the school term so far, and I've missed half of them now. I can't wait until these exams are over. I'm doing semi-alright now.   Edit: Also forgot to mention we're getting the blood test results back later today. ... View more

[R] 250,696 250,697 250,698 250,699 250,700 ... View more

[R] Synapses ... View more

[R] Won! ... View more

[R] @Tiny_leaf It’s probably because our brain’s used to me doing everything. Hopefully that will go away with time. Yeah, she’s both.   I am still up at a ridiculous hour. Dysphoria kept me up, and now I just don’t feel tired. Tomorrow’s going to be a pain because I have so much I need to get done. ... View more

[R] And so are you! ... View more

[R] The laptop I'm using to write this post, as well as the edges of the table the laptop is on, and the legs of both the chair I'm sitting on and the table.   Dark blue ... View more

[R] Nope. Winning :) ... View more

[R] Mule ... View more

[R] @Tiny_leaf Yeah, we're in control of our dissociation. Although some weird stuff with our vision has happened when someone other than me has switched in, which isn't intentional.   Your cat kind of sounds like one of our dogs, except she paws people when she wants a pat and bites them when she doesn't (or when she does, for some reason). ... View more

[R] @Tiny_leaf Hopefully it will. Ze has said in the past ze doesn’t want to switch, but now ze’s considering having a go. One thing I have observed though is that if someone else wakes up (and everyone else wakes up disconnected from our body), and I’m really tired, they will be too. However, if I’m not and they are, usually they want to go back into inactivity, but if they’re kept up for a while to get back a bit of strength, usually they stop feeling tired and are happy to stay up. Since for a long time S has probably been the least active member of our system, maybe ze just needs a bit more time awake to feel a bit more energised. Ze’s also had dysphoria concerns, but I think if T can ignore it, maybe ze can too. Idk, we might have to look a bit further into this.   I think it would be “does ze”. That’s how I would’ve said it.   The dissociation is mostly under our control, so I could’ve stopped if I wanted to. My excuse is that I’m tired (which is true most of the time), so people just assume I’m trying to sleep/rest.   Thanks :) ... View more

[R] @Tiny_leaf We’ve come to an agreement that someone else should try to switch in if I don’t feel I can keep myself safe. Everyone except S is okay with this. Still kind of worried about hir, but I think ze and I need a bit more one-on-one time. Or maybe if I can get hir chatting online with someone else tonight, maybe ze might like that. Anyway, the important bit is we have a plan, now we just need to make sure we stick to it.   @Bre-RO Thank you. I’m feeling a bit better today, but this morning and lunchtime were low points for me.   This morning I just managed to get through it on my own, and at lunchtime I just sat down and dissociated for a bit (intentionally), and kind of just sat there. A friend even poured water on my head and I barely reacted. I’d said I was tired earlier, so no one was really suspicious. I don’t remember much of it. Maybe I switched out and just no one was there? I don’t know to be honest.   Last night wasn’t great. I won’t elaborate, because I don’t want to keep the triggering stuff to a limit, and because I don’t want to violate the guidelines unintentionally again.   Thank you for thinking of us. We’re moving forward to where we all want to be, and the other day we also got an appointment in about a month with a counsellor who specialises in gender identity. We haven’t talked about it as a system, but I’m assuming that it’s going to work as per usual and I’ll handle the appointment side of things. ... View more

[R] @Tiny_leaf That might be a good idea. There’s only this term left for us to do it since we’re dropping the subject.   We’ll have to have some discussions about that. Might start discussing now before I go to sleep just in case. ... View more

[R] @Tiny_leaf In case it was, I edited it out of my post. It’s in another room, so I can’t get it. ... View more

[R] @Tiny_leaf Thanks for those! I’ve had a read through.   I was able to go to school yesterday and today. Yesterday was alright, except for the first time I forgot a KHL appointment, but I’ve since reorganised that. We haven’t been following the switching schedule we drafted, but today we had our first switch at school. We were in design & technology, and I was bored, so D read some of the textbook as revision. He was a lot more interested than I was, so that’s good.   Haven’t been great this evening. I had a whole bunch of homework to do but I just couldn’t because I had an appointment (unrelated to the trans stuff), but when I got home I was working slowly and didn’t finish the majority of it because I was feeling dysphoric and suicidal again.   Tbh, I’m not really looking forward to tomorrow (again). And another thing that sucks is that I feel like a horrible person for self-harming and wanting to die when my body is shared property with five other people. No one’s been angry with me for what I’ve done to self-harm in the past, but their reactions have ranged from sympathetic to worried to just trying to ignore it. I don’t want to kill any of them, just me, and they don’t want to die. I’m worried that one day I will just kill us all. I feel like I’m a pathetic excuse for a systemmate because of that.   I’m safe right now, but still not feeling great. ... View more

[R] I think I’m the one winning again @xXLexi_Lou122Xx :) ... View more

[R] Actually, I'm winning. ... View more

[R] Water. ... View more

[R] Brain ... View more

[R] @ruthxxx Are you sure? ... View more

[R] I have won ... View more

[R] And so did I ... View more