Do you have any strategies for how you take care of yourself when you feel like people don't believe you @Zeraxero? ... View more

@j95 As a mental health professional it is my entirely professional opinion that snacks should always be available in case of Snackmergencies. You can quote me. ... View more

I'm so sorry you're feeling so bad tonight @Creativegirl12.    I think you've hit the nail on the head with some great insight there though - it does catch up.   I want you to know you don't need to do anything to be strong. You can sit there and cry, scream into your pillow, anything you need, and none of it will change how strong you are.   So what I do, for really overwhelming bad feelings, is my patented Whenever You're Ready technique. It goes like this: I turn around and I face the feeling. Sometimes I say out loud whatever the really big thing underneath that feeling is - I say how sad I am, or how stressed, or how awful everything feels. I let myself break down for as long as I need (in the shower is great for this by the way, you don't make a big mess when you cry!) and as I go, I tell myself, over and over, that whenever I'm ready, I'll stand up and keep going. No rush. No hurry. Nowhere to be. But when I'm ready, when the wave recedes a little, I'll stand up. Sometimes, I stand up, then need to sit down and keep crying. That's all good.   Over time, as I've practiced mindfulness, and methods to accept and let go of my thoughts, the amount of time I need to get ready has lessened a lot. But even if one day it stretches out to hours, or days, or weeks - that's all good. I trust my body to do what it needs to do.   I trust you, too.   ... View more

Yeah! @j95 it's the best. We (all the counsellors and overnight staff) contribute random snacks to it, the supervisors always bring stuff, and whenever the 9-5 office staff have parties |(usually once a month or so) they bring up extra trays of whatever they're having for us!   Tonight someone ordered us all pizza! I chose to believe it was all for me  ... View more

That is an awesome, detailed schedule @Sean8573. Can I ask which bits of it tend to get messed up? And which bits are pretty great and stable? ... View more

@j95 I just stole all the free pizza off work's free food table so I totally understand  ... View more

Thanks guys @lokifish, @N1ghtW1ng and @j95.   I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I actually live with PTSD myself - in fact, at this point I'm very much 'recovered', and I live a great life with a full time job I love, great relationships, hobbies and study. A lot of the stuff I tell you about is stuff I've learned in my own recovery, or from friends and family members in their recovery. So basically I'm saying that I'm cheating when I tell you about stuff    Getting to come here and work with you guys has been an awesome chance to spread my wings a little now that I'm in such a good place in my own life - you guys all know from being here how healing and amazing it can be to chat with others about this stuff! So I'm extra grateful to all of you for that. ... View more

I can only imagine how alone you must feel when you've been so surrounded by people you don't feel you can trust, @Zeraxero. I'm so sorry that you've had to go through that.   I want you to know that regardless of why your abuser chose you, nothing about it was your fault. Nothing you could have done changes the fact that someone in a position of power abused your trust and took away your bodily autonomy. That is a decision they made. You might already know that, or have heard it before but found it difficult to believe, and that's okay. I just want you to hear it again and again as many places as possible. They may have 'targeted' you, but that does not mean that you were doing something/there was a part of you to make you a 'target'.   I really dont know what is connected and what isnt i just feel that its me and all stems from me being me and that it wont get better since nothing ever goes my way and miracles dont happen for me.   I can really understand how it must feel that way. It must be so hard to believe that so many terrible things could just happen all to one person, that it could just be luck. And maybe it wasn't luck - maybe one thing left you vulnerable to the next thing, like when a wave knocks you over at the beach, and you come up for air, coughing and spluttering and with water in your eyes, and you can't even see the next wave about to knock you over in time to avoid it.   It sounds to me like you're feeling kind of powerless and overwhelmed, like you don't have any ability to change any of the bad things that have happened or are coming your way in the future. I can understand that - after all, in the past, when terrible things happened, you couldn't do anything to fix them. You've found that to be true: that you just have to suffer through it all. I don't want to invalidate that and tell you it's just going to all be okay now. I know that right now, things are extremely hard and finding a way out seems impossible.   But I do want to tell you that what I see here on RO is a person who is really determined, a true survivor. You're here, talking to us, an amazing feat of courage. You've survived true hell, and you continue surviving even when things are terrible. You keep seeking help - you're about to start a whole new kind of therapy, which is brave and shows huge commitment to recovery. You obviously have huge courage, huge resilience, and are amazing at keeping yourself safe, just by being here. That is so impressive to me.   I really hope your counselling goes well tomorrow. Will you tell us how it goes? ... View more

That sounds really difficult @Zeraxero. It sounds like you feel like you see a very different side of your family than the rest of the world does. Do you feel like people don't believe you when you tell them about your family, or have you found you've gotten good support when you've talked about how you feel at home?   ... View more

Well @Theatricals this might make you feel a bit more assured - it's actually normal here in Australia to live at home (or at least in your home city) while you're at uni. Dorms are very uncommon, and if you do live out of home it'll be with housemates off campus. What's more, a lot of our Uni Student Support Squad go to TAFE (where you learn trades, like plumbing, hairdressing etc) or our version of community college. They're a big mixed bunch who you might find you have some stuff in common with. What do you think? ... View more

Hey @Zeraxero -    I just wanted to check in - are you safe at home with your family? It sounds like you don't connect very well with them, which must be incredibly difficult. But what you're describing, like restricting your movements, the physical abuse, and so on, a lot of that sounds really scary and hard, and actually abusive. So it's important that I check with you - do you feel safe at home these days? ... View more

It sounds like you've been feeling a lot worse recently @Zeraxero.   I'm so sorry to hear you suffered sexual abuse, and that your family was not supportive through that. I read this really amazing book by Judith Herman on trauma recovery, especially for child abuse sufferers. In it, she said that for survivors of child abuse, the absolute hardest thing can be forgiving, or even just living with the bystanders. Sometimes (not always) it's easier to understand the abuser than the people who just stood by and did nothing while you were hurting and small and in need of protection.   I want you to know that it's okay to be angry with your family for that. It's okay to hate them for a little while, even! However you feel about them, that's allowed. Even if they love you very much (and most families do), they still failed you when you needed them, and trusting them again after that is huge and really hard - and you get to decide when and how you're ready for that.   I'm wondering if you've had any care, like counselling, for that trauma? It sounds like it impacts you very much to this day. Do you think that trauma might have anything to do with everything else you're struggling with - your weight, body image, your relationships? Does it feel connected, or not so much? ... View more

That makes a lot of sense @Mortimer.   Sometimes it can be kind of scary to talk about the reasons we self harm - because pretty much everyone chooses to self harm because on some level, it works. It's meeting a need you have - it feels good, and it's helping you when you feel bad. A lot of the counsellors here where I work call it a 'maladaptive coping strategy' for that exact reason: it is something that is helping you cope. The problem is that at the same time, it's causing you some harm.   What do you think of that? Does self harm feel like it's working for you? Does it feel like anything else could work that well? ... View more

@redhead I got a new green tea 'with a touch of lychee' (the exact words from the packet) today and thought of you! I hope it's the same one because this one is DELICIOUS.   Also Earl Grey is one of my faves. I have three different kinds! ... View more

This is one of my favourite 'positives' I've ever seen from you @j95. I hope your holiday helps you release some of the responsibility you feel for your family - you're an amazing big brother, but it is really awesome to see you get some time to prioritise you instead! ... View more

Hey @Theatricals - I can totally understand how huge and scary that must feel. It's a big thing to be starting when you've been living in quite a difficult space. I'm wondering if you want to make a new thread to chat to some of the other university students about how they managed the transition? Or if you'd rather, you can go post in Uni Student Support Squad - they're an amazing bunch over there who are armed with fantastic strategies! ... View more

Hey @Spidergirl16,   First off, just to let you know - I edited your name out of your post. RO is a totally anonymous forum, so we keep names and other identifying stuff private to make sure this stays a really safe space you. Don't stress - you haven't done anything wrong, we're just looking out for you! If you do want to read a bit more about it you can check out our forum guidelines here.   I wanted to reply to you anyway though - it sounds like things are really hard for you right now. I'm wondering, if you feel comfortable, would you mind telling us a bit more about the mental health issues you're living with? Or, if you prefer, just telling us how they create barriers to socialising? I'm just wanting to make sure we can get you the best support we have, and not just rattle off strategies that you might have already tried, or which won't work because of symptoms you're living with.   I know that other RO members live with symptoms like anxiety that make socialising really hard - @N1ghtW1ng, you've done some awesome work pushing yourself to meet up with people recently. What do you think? ... View more

My favourites atm are black tea with vanilla, and Green Rose from T2. So comforting and warm!   (Ps best thread ever @redhead ;) ) ... View more

I'm so glad to hear you've got some better help @Sean8573, and that the meds are helping. Do you have some good support from family and friends? ... View more

So sorry to hear that @Sean8573 - how did you go in hospital? I'm glad to hear you're making your way out of it, though. How are you feeling about it all? ... View more

Hey @GraceInSpace93   It worries me a bit that he's said that to you. Do you feel a lot of pressure because of that?   Can I ask, in what context did he say it? Was it like, "thanks for all your support, I wouldn't be here without you," or like "please don't leave me, I wouldn't be here without you," or something else?   I think it's really fair to be concerned about his discussion of wanting to end his life - I'm concerned too. It sounds like he's in a really awful place and has been struggling for a really long time. Can I ask whether you've had any luck contacting the Suicide Call Back Service? They're really good for strategies on how to talk to someone who's going through a hard time like he is, and getting them in touch with help. ... View more

@Craycray17 I too am a mini human and I have been known to wear a sleeping bag around the house for this exact reason. Other options include keeping a small snuggly blanket at the foot of the bed to wrap yourself in, or just deciding that the floor can do with a sweep anyway and it may as well be your doona doing the sweeping  ... View more

Hey @Ed Squared how are you feeling? Did you manage to get in touch with SCBS on web chat? ... View more

I really like what you've said about collaboration @Bay52VU - that's really powerful. You're so right: It's your life and anyone who is trying to help you should be focusing on empowering you, not just handing off solutions.   You always give me something to think about and learn from, so thank you! ... View more

I've been lucky enough to go to Europe, Asia and the US @j95 - my family is from all over so we have to travel to keep in touch =) ... View more

Catching pokemon at my desk in-between real work ;) Our building is on a pokestop so it's perfect! ... View more

Hey @cordial99, Can I ask how you're going with all that stress? It sounds like it's been having a real impact on you! ... View more