My dad kinda sucks I think, but idk how to feel

(I’m dyslexic so sorry if I spell stuff wrong or have incorrect grammar, and this is my first post every)

I haven’t talk about this with anyone, mainly because my family is seen as the perfect family, loving parents and all (as well as past trauma that make it really hard for me to open up about my struggles now). But that’s not overly the case. My parents fight a lot, over the dishes, washing, money, leaving a sock on the floor. It normally comes out as an explosion form a build up over a month or so. I dread everytime they interact because it will normally end in one being snarky or passive aggressive, or worse a big argument that echos through the whole house. Then they like to say passing comments to me about the other, I never respond, I don’t want to be dragged into it. It’s mainly my Dad that starts stuff, he’s pretty incompetent and weaponises it. He really doesn’t do much of the house work, and instead sits on the couch scrolling through YouTube shorts loudly, but at the same time is controlling, aka very ask him to help you with something if your not ready for your plans and vision to be thrown out the window. But at the same time my mum can be a little controlling over the house. But NETHER of them ever communicate their feelings about things, and instead ask or comment on things in a very passive aggressive tone, which irritates the other and starts the cycle.

I but heads with my dad a bit, but it all being his fault. He has no empathy for other peoples things, and will throw stuff into my room if they are slightly in the way, including expensive shoes and delicate things. And whenever he makes a mistake its never his fault apparently, its always some how someone else’s fault. I don’t think the words sorry, please or thank you are in his vocabulary. I have NEVER gotten an apology for any of the things he’s done, which makes me feel really bad because I then think it’s my fault somehow. And whenever somethings happens he’s back to normal the next day, but I’m still feeling bad about myself. He’s a great person, and even a great dad sometimes, but most the time something is annoying him and it must then be everyone’s problem. One time my mum and I rearranged the back room to make it look prettier and empty all the trash that was in the closets. When my dad came home, something was annoying him, and he came through and hatted what we did because we moved the keys to his shed to a draw inside the closet, and apparently it was too hard for him to open 1 door then 1 draw to get the key. And instead it has to sit on top of the closet with all the other bits, bobs and trash he has to have out that he never uses. Look I understand giving and taking, but he never gives, only takes, and he was not settling for any other compromise besides what he wanted. And because of this is ruined my mum and I’s time and day we spent together doing something nice for everyone (a common theme). I just hate that I have started taking after my dad in my interests, it almost makes me resent those parts of me I love most, like horticultur, skateboarding and traveling are all things I love more then anything else, but I got from him so at the same time I hate them. I also hate that I have resentment for my own dad I am sapost to love.

I just hate that I know my mum is unhappy too. She hates her job, and has been in a job and company she hates for over 10 years trying to get a position she likes trying to climb the coporate ladder to make sure we have food on the table. So it drains her and she comes home tired every night and has to cook dinner and do other house work. My dad will only help if he’s asked to, he wont see her tired and stress and offer to help or do the dinner, he has to be asked every time. And I really want to talk to my mum about all this, but I don’t want to make things worse, make it bigger then it really is, if that’s the case.

It all take a big toll on my mental health, whenever something happens I lose all motivation and just want to run away. I live with someone I resent but have to hide it as so not cause any drama, which only leads me to build everything up inside. I have a pretty strong head now because of this and other traumas so I’m normally able to just get on with life, but my mental health right now is fragile after coming out of the toughest period of my life dealing with my chronic pain. I’m so happy I am well enough again to finally have control over my life fully, and defiantly making good use of it, but at the same time I’m so scared to go back to that place again, I don’t think I can survive going back there again.

So I guess I’m asking, am I valid to think this? What should I do?

I plan to go travel Australia once my studies are over and I have enough money (2-4 years), and GOD I CAN NOT WAIT for the day I pack my bags and leave, get out of this house, it don’t feel like home anymore, and the places I call my home are so far away now.