How do you make up after an argument?
Hey guys, kind of new here so not sure if there has been a similar thread posted before, but I would be really interested to hear how you usually make up after an argument. I think it would be fascinating to hear other people's experiences in different situations and relationships - and who knows, may be we can learn a thing or two from each other 😅
Personally, regardless of whom I had an argument with or whether I was in the wrong or not, I like to stay distant from the argument first to cool off and think through the argument without any strong emotions attached. Then I tend to reach the other person out for reconciliation and apologise. But there certainly has been some situations where I gave the other person the cold shoulder in spite, and I cannot say there has been a such case which I do not regret 😣
There's probably no straightforward right answer, and I'm sure what I have done was not the most right thing to do nor the best suited for those particular instances. But I think it would be interesting to hear different experiences from everyone, and discuss them in a space where there is no judgement 😋
Comments
@Andre9 that's such an interesting question, I think it just depends on the person I've had an argument with. Like you I usually give it some space at first, depending on who was in the wrong, once it's cooled down a bit, I will either apologise or go try talk to the other person calmy and explain why they upset me. I mostly only have arguments with my family members and no one really holds grudges in my family so a few hours later we'll just resume an activity we have in common or just go back to being chill with each other.
Hello @Andre9, welcome to the RO forums!
From reading your post it sounds like you have a very mature way of dealing with conflicts! Personally, I also do something similar. I isolate myself to cool off and rerun the argument through my head from a 3rd person perspective (or at least as unbiased as I can) and look for faults in myself (e.g. I should have said something more tactfully etc.). I also like to consult trusted friends and families to get more objective POVs. Afterwards I will reach out to the friend I fought with and apologize to them.
While sometimes I wished that the friend also apologized for their behaviour this will not always be the case 😝. In fact, there was one friend that I fought with in high school whom I have apologized to over a year later but they never replied oh well...😔.
Also thanks for making a thread on this topic! I think it will make for a very interesting discussion.
Hey @Andre9 thanks for making this thread, I think it's such a relatable struggle.
As you said, there is no straightforward answer but from what you've said you have a good way of dealing with arguments. I agree that cooling off is a good idea, sometimes you need to do that otherwise the fight goes around in circles.
I recently made up with a friend who I had an argument with almost a year ago! It was a hurtful fight so we both needed a long time before we could talk again. When we were ready we explained what was happening for us emotionally at the time and acknowledged what the experience would have been like for one another.
We actually have a great article on how to tell a friend they've hurt you which I thought would be good to share 🙂
