originally posted on 17-08-2015 9:56 PM

Men often struggle to develop strong support networks. Have you found this difficult? What are some ways you have been able to overcome this?

 

Men? I struggle with this. I've never really had a stable friendship at all, so my network consists of my family even though they are 4 hours drive away. But then again, I do have fortnightly appts with my psychologist, so that helps me. When I do get support networks from friends I often wonder if I annoy them with all my problems and they often dont get the full story as I tend to hold back through past experiences of knowing they probably wont be sticking around for long. Just patiently waiting for the day I'm proven wrong.

 

Currently going though a rough patch with current friends. It is probably nothing, but yeah.

originally posted on 17-08-2015 10:03 PM

@stonepixie sorry to hear how things are going with your friends at the moment, it must be tough with your family being far away too but it's good to hear that you are linked in with a psychologist for support. 

 

My network is pretty small but I am very close with a couple of people, but in saying that, there's probably only one or maybe two people that i'd actually talk to about really personal stuff.

 

 I've felt the same - wondering if i'm annoying them with my problems - but often I find that my worries are unnecessary. It takes time but i'm sure you will find someone that you can feel that way with too, and hopefully you're proven wrong about them not sticking around for long.

 

Tonight's GR is over but feel free to let us know how things go with your friends on another thread in the forum!

originally posted on 17-08-2015 10:00 PM

@stonepixie that really sucks to hear, I empathise with you on wondering whether you are bothering your friends with your problems, and holding back the things that are bothering you for fear of losing them. luckily we have reachout i guess hey!

originally posted on 17-08-2015 10:04 PM

Yeah, I guess @copse but it just isn't the same. Sometimes you just need a real human connection.

originally posted on 17-08-2015 10:05 PM

Thanks everyone! Summary is on page 15 in case you missed it! Have a good night and I hope you enjoyed the chat, I sure did 🙂

originally posted on 17-08-2015 9:58 PM

@stonepixie I know what you mean, I too feel like I'm burdening my friends sometime. It's great that you also have the psych that you can really offload to 🙂

originally posted on 17-08-2015 9:52 PM

Men often struggle to develop strong support networks. Have you found this difficult? What are some ways you have been able to overcome this?

I am not a man.... but I can see how that would happen. Traditionally, society is a patriarchy so men (paticular caucasian men) did not seemingly need to develop support networks... that was for the minorities....
I think it's just starting to gain traction now! Football clubs can be pretty amazing

originally posted on 17-08-2015 10:00 PM

Great chat tonight guys! Not the biggest turnout but we still turned it into a worthwhile, valuable discussion 😄 Here is a quick recap of the chat, there was so much said though I'm sure I missed some! Thanks again for participating and have a good night! See you around the forums

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What do you think it means to be a man?

 

It seems that being a man is a complex idea. Making sacrifices for your loved ones, being the head of the family, the caretaker, the provider, these are all commonly held notions of what it means but are they still true in today’s society? There is no right or wrong way to be a man, just be true to yourself!

 

What, for you, is the most difficult male stereotype to accept?

 

That men must protect women, because they are too weak to protect themselves. That a man has to be big, strong and masculine.

 

Where do you think the pressures that face men today come from? Is it the media, the opposite sex, or themselves?

 

Perhaps the media is the driving force, which tells the opposite sex what to think and then they put pressure on men to look and behave in a certain way. The older generation does also have a heavy impact on the way younger men behave. Social media also plays a huge role in perpetuating stereotypes

 

Are the expectations of a man unfair in today’s society?

 

Men are still expected to be able to do everything, and women expected to be able to do nothing. Unfair expectations are not just limited to men, however, society is asking too much of all people.

 

How do you think the expectations of being a man are changing? Is this a good thing?

 

The expectations seem to be lining up more with reality, more people are accepting that men aren’t the only ones who can earn money, and there are many body types that are okay.

 

It is often said that men are not able to express emotions as well as women, yet expressing inner emotions is often very healthy and helpful, so what are some ways we can break down this barrier?

 

Be the change you want to see, break down the barrier yourself and show other people it’s okay to express and accept yourself!

 

Have you ever been in a situation where you have felt the need to fit the social “mould”, or fit the stereotype, even when it isn’t necessarily how you would normally behave?

 

It seems a common theme that men are often faced with the struggle to fit into a mould, usually when in a male-dominated environment such as the footy club or trades, or during the rough time of high school.

 

What are some techniques you can use to feel comfortable and confident about who you are?

 

Hang out with positive people who encourage you to accept and love yourself 🙂 Start small, open up to people slowly and progressively show the world who you truly are. Also focusing on what you are good at and ignoring the haters!

 

Men often struggle to develop strong support networks. Have you found this difficult? What are some ways you have been able to overcome this?

Be proactive, seek relationships that are strong, positive, and supportive, and don’t be afraid to open up to those close to you 🙂 Develop your connection to your clubs, school, uni, etc.!

Good night everyone!!

originally posted on 17-08-2015 10:07 PM

Bye everyone and thanks!!!

originally posted on 17-08-2015 10:04 PM

Thanks again for joining us everyone. We had some awesome responses and I think i've learned a lot! 🙂

originally posted on 17-08-2015 9:51 PM

Men often struggle to develop strong support networks. Have you found this difficult? What are some ways you have been able to overcome this?

My close friends have typically been women because, as the stereotype goes, they are much better at listening and talking about "feelings" than the dudes are... 😛 But I have found it difficult at times, I don't connect super well with my family, and my close circle of friends has changed but I feel like I'm definitely developing a stronger network over the years 🙂

originally posted on 17-08-2015 9:57 PM

Men often struggle to develop strong support networks. Have you found this difficult? What are some ways you have been able to overcome this?

I have found this extremely difficult, because of most of the guys i hang around with fit into that "blokey bloke" stereotype, so I don't have many friends I can open up to.

originally posted on 17-08-2015 9:15 PM

It is often said that men are not able to express emotions as well as women, yet expressing inner emotions is often very healthy and helpful, so what are some ways we can break down this barrier?

 

I definitely feel out of my depths with this one. Hahaha. But then again I'm not one for expressing emotions out in public even though I am sensitve as f!

 

So this is just coming from what I have learnt from my psychologist. Don't try and hide the emotion, let it run though you, accept that it is there. If you cant do this in public for whatever reason, set some time in your day to just let all your emotions run through you.

originally posted on 17-08-2015 9:22 PM

that's great advice @stonepixie & @j95

 

I think that the only way we become comfortable with our emotions is by actually allow ourselves to experience them in an environment where we feel safe and accepted. 

 

 

@stonepixie that ssounds like a cool experience in your tafe class. I imagine it would've been pretty surprising since those kinda ice-breaker convos are usually really basic, small talk kinda stuff

originally posted on 17-08-2015 9:28 PM

It didn't really shock the class, just the teachers. @benjamin_ But I thought it was really good as I was still trying to get over some triggers, so I was able to tell people that I found certain things quite triggering.

originally posted on 17-08-2015 9:31 PM

I'm sure you already know this @stonepixie, but it's not your problem if a dude feels emasculated by you - it's his! 

 

If we could all just be confident in comfortable with ourselves than this wouldn't be an issue. Hopefully this will change over time!

 

 

originally posted on 17-08-2015 9:46 PM

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@benjamin_ wrote:

I'm sure you already know this @stonepixie, but it's not your problem if a dude feels emasculated by you - it's his!  

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Yeah, but sometimes, you've just got to let the poor guy help out, like putting flat packs together. But I can be very stubborn and independent.

originally posted on 17-08-2015 9:47 PM

@stonepixie great analogy haha!

originally posted on 17-08-2015 9:17 PM

@stonepixie so sitting with emotions rather than avoiding them or trying to make them go away? I've learnt that too.

originally posted on 17-08-2015 9:18 PM

Pretty much @j95

originally posted on 17-08-2015 9:20 PM

I think it's time for the next question 🙂

Have you ever been in a situation where you have felt the need to fit the social “mould”, or fit the stereotype, even when it isn’t necessarily how you would normally behave?

originally posted on 17-08-2015 9:27 PM

Have you ever been in a situation where you have felt the need to fit the social “mould”, or fit the stereotype, even when it isn’t necessarily how you would normally behave?

 

Can't say I have. Although if I am going to a real formal function, there is no way I would rock up without any makeup on!

 

I also fell guilty when I'm told that I am emasculating someone.