Avoiding the self-destruct button
If you've ever procrastinated until the night before a big assignment is due, snapped at your friends when you're tired, spent the day in bed because you don't feel like getting up, eaten an entire packet of Tim Tams, drunk too much - you have used self destructive behaviours.
While these things might seem harmless, using self destructive behaviours is rarely a one-time thing. We might start off using smaller behaviours like those listed above, but over time, as we develop habits of sabotaging our wellbeing, the behaviours we use can become more and more significant. In the moment, these reactions can feel instant and as though they are out of our control - but they're not. Luckily, with a bit of self awareness and motivation to find better ways of dealing, we can replace these destructive behaviours with positive ways of managing ourselves during tough times.
On Monday 17th September at 8pm AEST, we'll be talking all about self destructive behaviours: what they are, what purposes they might serve, how they can impact our lives and most importantly, how we can replace them with more positive, life affirming behaviours. Whether you're a chronic self-sabotager or you've managed to develop an arsenal of empowering coping strategies - come share your experiences and help each other out!
& for our fiiiiiiiiiiiiinal question of the night!
What are three more positive coping strategies that you could use instead of your destructive behaviours?
What are three more positive coping strategies that you could use instead of your destructive behaviours?
- Plan my time better so that I feel more in control don't have so much work to do right before my assignments are due.
- Read positive news articles rather than negative ones (I tend to use the negative ones to reinforce my negative beliefs and anxieties)
- Ask someone elses opinion on something so that I am getting an objective POV rather than just my own negative judgements on myself.
What are three more positive coping strategies that you could use instead of your destructive behaviours?
Ummm...watch GLEE!! Haha I'm watching it right now and it always makes me feel happy. Okay, okay now for reals:
- write down how you're feeling and vent, vent, vent. Hopefully by then you will have exhausted yourself through writing. If that's not the case...
- exercise...I know burning energy can make me see clearer. Sometimes I'm just too stressed or riled up. Or I am focing myself to do something, instead of being ready and willing and wanting to do it.
- practice awareness and acceptance of your situation. It's not going to go away, so you can either avoid it, or you can realise that it is what it is and you need to do whatever you need to do in the is moment.
@_sagira_ wrote:
Ummm...watch GLEE!! Haha I'm watching it right now and it always makes me feel happy.
Glee always makes me feel happy too! I guess it lives up to its title. 😛
What are three more positive coping strategies that you could use instead of your destructive behaviours?
1. Break complex, overwhelming tasks down into more manageable steps, then start on the first one.
2. Reward yourself for each little achievement
3. Reach out for help if you need it. It might seem scary at first but it's amazing how many people out there actually care and want to listen. 🙂
1. Listening to my body & what my intuition is telling me.
2. If I'm getting stressed out, to take a few minutes. It's ok to put something down, walk away & come back to it.
3. If I'm making a questionable decision (or about to), trying to take a few minutes & put in perspective; how will this make me feel in a few hours/tomorrow/next week/6 months/etc.
A: I think trying to be aware and conscious of it in the first place, notice early warning signs of 'going destructo' and lastly - not leaving things to the last minute!
So its time to wrap it up, we have had a great night and got some amazing discussions from you guys so thank you for that 🙂 Here is a summary of our conversation tonight:
So we have talked about whether we have used self destructive behaviours before and many of us said we did. Sometimes we don’t realise we are doing it and its hard to pick up.Sparkle mentioned how some of us can see what we are doing kind of like our ownretro-spectacles. There was also mention about short term self destructive behaviour affecting us in the long term. Sometimes we try and make the behaviour make sense somehow and the use of procrastination can be central to these behaviours.
We said that self destructive behaviours were fine if they were occasional and once they become frequent then they become a problem. Someone might use destructive behaviours when they do not have other ways of coping, it can be the only coping mechanism that has worked, they might not think about the consequences at the time and it can be easy to use that behaviour rather than facing the problem.
This can impact our lives by affecting our physical & mental health, we can lose sight of our sense of self, it can be a waste of time and it can cause negative emotions about one self. Replacing destructive behaviours with positive coping strategies helps us cope better, feel more positive and gives us a sense of fulfilment and achievement.
There are some things that can make it easier to change our behaviours such as being open to trying something new, recognising that the behaviour isn’t right for you, find things that make you feel good and that you enjoy and plus practise makes perfect. We can boost our confidence and self esteem to avoid destructive behaviours by surrounding ourselves with positive people, people we love and doing things we enjoy, self care is very important and you matter. 🙂
Thank you all and have an amazing week 🙂
Don't forget to check these out:
http://au.reachout.com/What-is-self-awareness
http://au.reachout.com/Building-better-coping-skills
http://au.reachout.com/Working-out-your-strengths
http://au.reachout.com/Im-feeling-overwhelmed
Goodnight all!
Thanks for tonight everyone 🙂
Will definitely try now to be more constructive in how I respond to situations.
Goodnight x
Gosh, I'm just loving the conversation tonight! You guys are AWESOME!
Here's our second last question of the evening:
How can we boost confidence ad esteem to help us avoid destructiveness?
How can we boost confidence and esteem to help us avoid destructiveness?
By surrounding yourself with people who accept you & make you feel good, doing things you enjoy and starting slowly and then building your way up when faced with a difficult situation. Rewarding yourself for achievements, even the little ones. Like everything building confidence/self-esteem takes time.
Good night Bee! Good luck with your exam. 🙂
How can we boost confidence and esteem to help us avoid destructiveness?
I like to reward myself and make lists of things that I'm proud of myself for doing, even if they seem like little things 'i.e. started my assignment, or wrote one paragraph, or went to class.
How can we boost confidence ad esteem to help us avoid destructiveness?
Well if it's something that really affects your day to day living and how you function it would probably be wise to involve a health professional of some sort. They may be able to suggest strategies to work through changing the way you handle things.
Just so you know, we had a few technical issues, but the Check In thread is now OPEN! Hurrah!
I think practice makes perfect with changing behaviours! The more we do something, the more likely we are to do it.
Next questioniie!!!!!
5. What benefits might there be in replacing destructive behaviours with more positive coping strategies?
What benefits might there be in replacing destructive behaviours with more positive coping strategies?
You feel happier about yourself, feel more positive and have better ways of dealing with tough situation and you have a better understanding of yourself and what you can avoid to keep u from resulting to destructive behaviours.
What benefits might there be in replacing destructive behaviours with more positive coping strategies?
A sense of fulfillment and achievement in your actions. Even contentment and peace is possible. If you learn to find acceptance in the situation.
The main thing for me is feeling more in control of things and less anxious and upset.
