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Join an event. Happening today.

Time for Tinder or Something More Tender?

The chat will kick off at 8pm AEST, Monday 1st of August 2016.

Log in and High Five this post for an email reminder. Tell us what you'd like to talk about by clicking "Reply".

 

Next Monday we are talking about relationships, dating, and lurrrveeee. So are you ready to think about whether you are better off sticking to Tinder, or are you on the hunt for something more tender?

 

Tinder.gif

 

How do you know if you’re ready for a “real” relationship?  By that I mean something other than a casual hook-up or one night stand. How do you get a real relationship - with like… real love? And how do you know the other person is in it for the right reason? And OMG am I even ready for all of this relationship stuff?

 

Titanic.gif

 

They are all tricky questions, but the truth is that we will have to face this at some point in our lives. Join us 8pm AEST for a chat about the online dating scene.. With elements of reality.

 

Log in and High Five the post for an email reminder. Tell us what you'd like to talk about by clicking "Reply".

 

Truly yours,


Lahna

Lahna
LahnaPosted 26-07-2016 04:29 PM

Comments

 
j95
j95Posted 02-08-2016 08:46 AM
I'm about to make it @lokifish and i'll mention you in it when it's ready 🙂
 
joy101
joy101Posted 01-08-2016 09:38 PM
Yes definitely! Everyone you interact with you have some sort of relationship with, friends with benefits and hookups are just more casual than romantic relationships, they both need to have both parties to have the same expectations for it to work as is the same for any relationship.
 
 
tsnyder
tsnyderPosted 01-08-2016 09:42 PM

How are you @joy101, thanks for joining us! 1st post ever, congrats!

 

 

 
 
Ben-RO
Ben-ROPosted 01-08-2016 09:41 PM

Hey @joy101! Great answer, and i think we agree with your points, although i think I am also hearing from @j95 and @tsnyder that it's okay to take a little time to share your expectations with eachother. What do you think? How soon should you share? 

 
Ben-RO
Ben-ROPosted 01-08-2016 08:09 PM

Okay sweet, here's the first question! 

 

What does your ideal relationship look like?

 
 
j95
j95Posted 01-08-2016 08:15 PM

This just came up on my facebook feed and thought it would be relevant to this discussion haha

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Ben-RO
Ben-ROPosted 01-08-2016 07:31 PM

@PeanutJelly148@Mona-RO@j95 you gave this a High 5 so you get a reminder! Hope to see you in 30 mins! 

 
 
Ben-RO
Ben-ROPosted 01-08-2016 08:01 PM

And we're live! Hey everybody!  

 
 
 
tsnyder
tsnyderPosted 01-08-2016 08:07 PM

Welcome everyone! Tonight’s Getting Real session is focused on relationships – including discussing what we expect, what we think they require, and how we can maintain a happy health partnership.  Relationships are obviously an enormous part of our lives, but can be full of difficulties.  We’d really love to hear what you think about relationships, and what you have learnt from your experiences. 

 

Before we get started, take a look at our Community Guidelines if you haven’t already, and if things get a bit intense for you, check out our Emergency Help resources. 

 

 
 
 
j95
j95Posted 01-08-2016 08:03 PM
Hey everyone!
 
 
 
 
tsnyder
tsnyderPosted 01-08-2016 08:08 PM

Hey @j95, thanks for joining us man, really great to have you here.  How are you going?

 

(Also sorry about the delay, my brain is operating slowly today)

 
 
 
 
 
j95
j95Posted 01-08-2016 08:09 PM
hey @tsnyder not bad, you? this should be a good chat!
 
 
 
 
 
Ben-RO
Ben-ROPosted 01-08-2016 08:14 PM

What does your ideal relationship look like?

 

That's such a tricky one! I think for me my ideal relationship is about being able to communicate openly and freely about stuff, even tough stuff. I like intimacy, that might be sexual stuff, but also other stuff that's not necessary related to sexuality like just being physically close to a person or saying stuff  to build eachother up. I don't think i should rely on someone else to meet my needs, and i don't really like the idea of someone else relying on me, but it's cool to have someone who understands what you're passionate about and cheers you on, and vice versa.

 

Something like that anyway, but I think there's probably more than one ideal relationship for me that I'd be pretty happy in!  

 
 
 
 
 
Ben-RO
Ben-ROPosted 01-08-2016 08:16 PM

Also i said "stuff" like 40 times in the last post, so clearly "stuff" is an important part of my ideal relationship 😛 

 
 
 
 
 
Ben-RO
Ben-ROPosted 01-08-2016 08:17 PM

Hmm both of you guys talk about judgement, what does judgement look like in a relationship? Can you give an example (you can make one up if you don't want to draw on personal experience!) 

 
 
 
 
 
tsnyder
tsnyderPosted 01-08-2016 08:24 PM

haha @j95 niiice

I want to feel free to be myself, so for example, I like to laugh at myself because I can be a bit of a goober sometimes, so someone who would laugh too, rather than frown at me.  That might be the worst explanation of all time but I hope it gets some of the point across

 

 
 
 
 
 
j95
j95Posted 01-08-2016 08:25 PM
yesss @tsnyder thats exactly what i meant!
 
 
 
 
 
j95
j95Posted 01-08-2016 08:26 PM

Next question!

 

What makes the difference between a friendship, casual sex or intimacy and a romantic relationship?

 
 
 
 
 
tsnyder
tsnyderPosted 01-08-2016 08:32 PM

What makes the difference between a friendship, casual sex or intimacy and a romantic relationship?

 

This can be a really interesting talking point, but in my opinion, a romantic relationship is with someone who you really like (heaps) plus you have that intimacy.  You feel reassured and comfortable but really excited and eager at the same time.  Casual sex is pretty obvious (you don't feel that strongly for the other person), and a friendship is like someone who you know will always have your back

 

 
 
 
 
 
Ben-RO
Ben-ROPosted 01-08-2016 08:35 PM

That's cool @tsnyder you know your answer makes me realise that literally every single person on the planet is going to have a different answer for this question! I know some people who don't like intimacy at all but are romantic, for example!  

 
 
 
 
 
tsnyder
tsnyderPosted 01-08-2016 08:41 PM

@Ben-RO I like to tell myself that my parents don't like intimacy and that I was brought here by a pigeon

 
 
 
 
 
Ben-RO
Ben-ROPosted 01-08-2016 08:43 PM

@tsnyder likewise, and if my parent's did have to have sex, then they only did it 4 times, once for each of my siblings and I. And that's it!  

 
 
 
 
 
tsnyder
tsnyderPosted 01-08-2016 08:47 PM

@Ben-RO bad thoughts!!

 
 
 
 
 
tsnyder
tsnyderPosted 01-08-2016 08:43 PM

I guess the key is to make sure both people are on the same page then?

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