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Am I in an abusive or just bad relationship?
I'm very confused and upset with my relationship currently, and have been wondering what exactly is happening. Part of me feels like he's manipulating my emotions to get what he wants, and the other part of me feels like I'm just doing something wrong to him.
So pretty much, whenever I'm with him and a group of friends, as soon as I start talking to any other member of the group, it's like he shuts down and puts on a sad face until I speak to him. It takes a lot of coaxing but eventually he brightens up again. This happens in large groups or even just when it's him, me and one of our close friends. As soon as he loses my attention, I feel awful and guilty and I have to stop talking to those other people. I'm starting to feel really isolated but I can't leave him because he says he's really depressed and has nothing else. Which is why I can't stand to see him look sad, especially since everyone there will look at me snd think I'm a bad girlfriend for not being able to keep him happy.
Please be honest, please help me.
Am I being dramatic, and what solutions are there here?
So pretty much, whenever I'm with him and a group of friends, as soon as I start talking to any other member of the group, it's like he shuts down and puts on a sad face until I speak to him. It takes a lot of coaxing but eventually he brightens up again. This happens in large groups or even just when it's him, me and one of our close friends. As soon as he loses my attention, I feel awful and guilty and I have to stop talking to those other people. I'm starting to feel really isolated but I can't leave him because he says he's really depressed and has nothing else. Which is why I can't stand to see him look sad, especially since everyone there will look at me snd think I'm a bad girlfriend for not being able to keep him happy.
Please be honest, please help me.
Am I being dramatic, and what solutions are there here?
Comments
That's a good idea, but I find the issue is that he refuses to open up to anyone but myself. I have thoroughly encouraged him to seek real, professional help but he just won't. He just picks me every time something goes wrong, and I want to help him and I'm trying so hard. It hurts even more when he turns around and says he is lonely and it makes me feel like I'm worthless. Even though I'm sure that's not what he intended. It's becoming so much to handle and he's not the only one I need to take care of, I have other friends who need my help a lot too. Plus I'm in my senior year of school, I have work, a musical and other things, and throughout it all, I think about how awful he must feel all the time and I feel so guilty. Thank you for responding, it is very kind.
@BellaRealTime it sounds like you are a really caring person which is a great quality to have 🙂
Have you had an open discussion with him about how you are feeling in the relationship? Maybe you could explain how him not seeking help is affecting you too?
Have you had an open discussion with him about how you are feeling in the relationship? Maybe you could explain how him not seeking help is affecting you too?
Hey @BellaRealTime,
How are you feeling right now? Relationships can be tricky since there can be so many things happening and communication does help. Have you talked to him about this? It sounds like you're trying your best to keep him happy so it doesn't sound like you're being a bad girlfriend. Do you know any mutual friends or someone who knows him well, like a best friend, who you could ask about how he's feeling? Perhaps you could even bring him along to possibly help him discuss it with you? What do you think? Has this happened recently or have there been moments in the past where he's been fine with this before?
