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My OCD is making my life dysfunctional (Trigger Warning)
Hi guys. So basically, while I was snap chatting a friend of mine, I had a sudden thought “what happens if they were driving, saw my snap, got distracted and hit and killed someone and then I would be implicated in it somehow. Its been trying tIt’s been creating these false memories like “it must have happened” and creating anxieties like “you will go to jail” and other stuff like that. The false memories are good at convincing me it happened. It’s been destroying these past few days for me. What can I do to stop this?
The false memories are also trying to convince me that that person confessed to me that something happened on Snapchat. They were telling me via a snap about the things they got up to that day which replied “that’s great”, then I though to myself “fuck, what happens if they confessed in that and I missed it?” I’ve been nauseous the whole day. I have struggled with thousands of different OCD scenarios in my life before. I take medication but that doesn’t do shit. Honestly, sometimes I just feel like I shouldn't be here.
Comments
Hi @anonymousOCD thank you for reaching out and sharing with us today.
I'm sorry to hear that you've been feeling nauseous all day. I can only imagine how overwhelming and distressing these thoughts must be for you.
You mentioned that the false memories are trying to convince you that something happened, do you mind me asking how you take care of yourself during these times? What kinds of things do you do to remind yourself that these thoughts might not be true? You mention that you don't feel that your medication is doing much, have you noticed any changes at all since starting on it? While treatment effectiveness can vary from person to person, there are a number of other things that can be done to help manage these thoughts. We have a couple of articles that could be worth having a look at, like OCD and Challenging negative thoughts.
You also mentioned that you have struggled with thousands of different OCD scenarios in your life, so I just want to check that you are currently safe? Please remember that we are always here if you want to chat.
I just wanted to add that I have had to make some edits to your post to ensure it fits within the community guidelines.
I also just want to remind you that you're not alone and we are all here for you 💜
Hi @Courtney-RO
Thanks for the response. My apologies about the comment that did not fit in with the commmunity guidelines.
In these situations, taking care of myself can be tricky. Like, I find it hard to eat, I have to use the toilet a lot, I research a whole heap of stuff regarding my thoughts and legal consequences. Deep down, I know that this is a false memory but my brain tries to convince me otherwise. Also, I am currently safe.
Below I'm going to list a whole heap of OCD scenarios I have experienced in my life:
- Checking behind me - started when I was 4.
- Checking the oven constantly - started when I was 8.
- Constant hand washing - started when I was 12.
- Fear of being a murderer - started when I was in high school.
- Fear of saying something illegal, defamatory - started when I was in high school.
- Existential OCD - started when I was in high school.
-And now this.
Hey @anonymousOCD thanks for sharing with us that you are currently safe. I am sorry to hear that you have been finding taking care of yourself to be challenging during these times. It seems like these thoughts have been impacting you in various ways. It also sounds like you have been managing your experiences of OCD for a while now, and that you have managed several different concerns. I'm just wondering if you currently see a psychologist or counsellor for support? You mentioned in your other response that you are currently taking medication but that it has not been helping too much lately. Have you been able to talk to your doctor about what you have been going through and how the medication has not been helping? They might want to review some details of your medication which might help 🙂.
Hi @Sophia-RO ,
Thank you for your response. I am currently seeing a psychologist. It does help but I just don't know how to talk to them about such silly problems such as this. I also don't know how to talk to my doctor regarding new medication.
Hi guys,
So before I made a post about this certain OCD scenario. Whenever I go on social media, I keep fearing that people are confessing crimes to me. This especially happens on snapchat. Because on snapchat there is limited time to view a snap, I sometimes replay the snap then continuously fixate as to whether I missed something possibly illegal in the snaps or in general that my friends are confessing crimes to me. Is this a form of severe OCD or is this something more?
Hi @anonymousOCD, thanks for sharing. What do you think stops you from mentioning these issues to your psychologist and GP? If you struggle to get things out verbally, you could always write them a note. I am not sure if it helps to know this but these are health professionals that have likely heard many other symptoms from plenty of other patients. They aren't there to judge what you are going through.
Unfortunately, we cannot provide medical advice, so we can't tell you whether it is OCD or something else. Nonetheless, I imagine that must be an incredibly scary and anxiety provoking situation for you. Is there anything that helps you to deal with these scenarios? It sounds really tough and I imagine it would be quite consuming at times. I can hear that you have a lot on your plate.
Just so you know, I merged your two threads into one as we try to keep similar content in one thread and it will make it easier for the community to provide support if they have a bigger context of your situation. I hope that is ok! 💖
Hi @Taylor-RO
Thank you for your response. I have no problems with you merging the second thread with this one. I just don't know how I'd write this down to my doctor or psychologist. I also fear sounding bizarre or like a criminal. Do you have any suggestions? Also, generally speaking, one of my biggest OCD compulsions which I forgot to mention in my first thread, is being framed for a crime.
It can be really daunting to share what you're dealing with or how you're feeling with your doctor or psychologist, I find this difficult too. But I have found it much easier if I write things down, and either just pass them the note or have it there as a reminder in case I get flustered. You definitely don't sound bizarre or like a criminal. I know a lot of intrusive thoughts can feel that way, and are things we wouldn't normally say out loud or think about logically, but professionals understand that and won't think badly of you for them being something you're struggling with. The very fact that you want to get support for these thoughts shows you're not a bad person 😊
I think that list that you wrote previously would be perfect to use for when you chat to your doctor or psychologist. It's really clear and easy to see what it is you're struggling with. And you can even let them know beforehand that you're feeling anxious about sharing with them so they can support you with that too. What do you think?