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Rant

For ages i knew this day would come but it finally has and jeez it has made us all upset. My favourite Aunty has been battling cancer for quite some time now but last week we were told that they had to stop treatment as it was no longer working she has been given 2 months at most to live but her health has plummeted so quickly that at this point we don't even think she will make it a couple of weeks. I also found out 2 days after the news of my aunty that my grandpa suddenly passed away so we had to drive home to see our family and it's so much more different without him. I'm speaking at his funeral on Monday but im worried that i will get up there and won't be able to say anything. My Dad also drove up to see my Aunty the other day though and he told us that we shouldn't see her BUT I NEED TO SAY GOODBYE. I my mental health issues have also recently skyrocketed so everything is just going wrong and this is to much to handle i almost feel the need just to lock myself away from the world cause im done with all the condolences from people I've never met, like i know that it's standard procedure to say "sorry for your loss" but it actually does nothing and just reminds me that he is going to be gone forever and will only live on in my memories. I can't though with my Aunty it's not fair. Like haven't i given enough and when will i finally be able to feel happy again. But i have to stay strong to keep my family together if i crack then we all go down. Anyways sorry for the rant i just really needed to say something because I cant keep this to myself anymore.   

eTkettle09
eTkettle09Posted 03-11-2022 09:47 PM

Comments

 
Dem--RO
Dem--ROPosted 03-11-2022 11:07 PM

Hi @eTkettle09

 

It's absolutely horrible what you are going through, and thank you for reaching out for some support during this incredibly difficult time for you and your family. It's completely understandable for you to be feeling upset and overwhelmed right now. As prepared as you tried to be for your Aunty, nothing can really prepare you for this, and to hear about your grandpa as well, it's a huge amount of devastating news in such a short time.

 

Would you feel comfortable talking to your dad again about seeing your Aunty? I understand how grateful you would be for any amount of time that you will be able to spend with her. 

 

It sounds like you want to make your grandpa proud when you speak at his funeral, do you think taking some time to write a short speech celebrating his memory, would help you to collect your thoughts for Monday?

 
 
eTkettle09
eTkettle09Posted 04-11-2022 09:26 AM

Hey reachout,

I have just finished the euology last night and I was chatting to Mum and she said that after the funeral they can try and get me up there to say goodbye. Fingers crossed.

 
 
 
Sally_RO
Sally_ROPosted 04-11-2022 03:04 PM

Hi @eTkettle09 , it’s nice to hear that you have managed to finish writing the eulogy, I imagine it wouldn’t have been an easy task for you to confront. Also nice to hear that you might have an opportunity to see your aunty soon, I really can see just how important she is to you. 

 

You mentioned that your mental health issues have skyrocketed recently, would it be helpful for you to talk more about that here? I wanted to point out that feeling as though your mental health is spiralling out of control at the moment is truly understandable in the circumstances you are facing. Dealing with the loss of a family member and having someone close to you experience a serious illness is a lot for one to handle. And having feelings of grief and all other emotions tied to it are completely normal and OK right now. 

 

I’m not sure if you’re up for reading articles at the moment, but thought i’d share some that I thought might be helpful. Here is one about working through grief and one on tips for coping with hard times. No pressure to read though, feel free to do whatever is manageable for you at the moment💛

 

Just wanted to remind you that as tough as things are at the moment, you don’t have to face it alone - the ReachOut community is here for you.

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