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TW. Advice or support or something please hlp
Hey all, this is really stressful for me to because I don’t like opening up or even asking for help but it’s getting to much..😔
Here’s a lol into what’s going on right now…
For the past 6 months I have been trying to fix my mental health issues and get it back on track before it got to bad… but recently I lost my bestfriend because of something I still don’t know… maybe it’s because I wasn’t good enough to keep a friendship or didn’t deserve them… it doesn’t matter… I’m used to it happening but since Tuesday I’ve been trying to fix my mental health and be strong but I keep having these really bad thoughts about hurting myself… Yesterday I asked my mum for help because it’s getting worse… I’m not happy anymore… when I’m awake I wanna be asleep… work used to be a distraction but it’s not helping anymore… all I think about is hurting myself and I know that’s a bad thing…
I haven’t slept longer then 20 minutes for the past 3 days… I have gone back to not eating much anymore and I feel like I’m just getting worse… I am safe at the moment but I honestly don’t know what to do anymore.
Hey @Lost_lonely_kitten03 and thank you for sharing with us today. I know how hard it can be to open up and ask for help, so I just want to say well done on taking such a big step!
I am so sorry to hear that you have been going through so much lately and that you have been having these bad thoughts about hurting yourself. I can only imagine how horrible and distressing that must be for you, especially without the support of your best friend. You mentioned that you have been trying to get your mental health back on track for a little while, were you able to find any strategies that do help you feel a little better or offer a distraction, even just for a short time?
You also mentioned that you asked your mum for help yesterday, I just want to say just how brave that was! That shows just how courageous you are and I think thats definitely something to be proud of. Do you mind me asking how she responded after hearing that things are getting worse? Was she able to make any suggestions that might help?
As these feelings can be really strong and overwhelming, I wonder what kind of supports you have around you right now. No one deserves to be alone at a time like this, and so I am wondering if you would feel comfortable talking to a health professional at all? I also highly recommend reaching out to a service like KidsHelpline who are available via phone and webchat.
We also have a number of great articles about Self-Harm, Support services and one on self-help ideas too, which may be worth a read.
I also just want to add a big thank you for letting us know that you're safe at the moment. You are important to us and so I just want to remind you that you're not alone and we're all here for you 💜
Hello,@Courtney-RO. Thanks for replying do quickly.
For a little while I used to use music and I used to always hang out with my bestfriend and their sister but I can't do that anymore because they ain't in my life anymore😔
My mum said she's going to make me a doctors appointment tomorrow for over the weekend so I can get a mental health care plan and then hopefully then I'll be able to get into seeing a mental health professional. Because I know need to talk about stuff from my past and the thoughts I'm having before I can start my recovery.
I also didn't think I was able to contact Kidshelpline because I'm not a kid anymore.
I do have support, my family, a friend I met thru work and my big sister by hesrt always make sure I am okay and not putting myself in danger. They also check me to make sure I haven't hurt myself the night before.
And honestly I do feel like I am alone right now... I just don't know what to do anymore to stop thinking these thoughts.💜
Thanks for the update. Firstly, Im super glad to hear youre safe at the moment and cleaned your room to help keep you safe. Have you been able to go for that walk you mention yet? Walking can be a great self care activity and be really soothing too. Even perhaps just a small walk around the block can be super helpful... What else do you normally do also to prevent from self harming? Sometimes I have a nice long warm shower.. I find the natural water really calming and soothing. Do you think you could do that also? If you do have strong urges to self harm, I would really encourage you to reach out to Kids Helpline which you may be aware of. They are an amazing immediate support to talk with on 1800 551 800.
Im really glad to hear that your nana and sister are okay as well. That must be a big relief. You must be looking forward to seeing your sister tomorrow - what do you plan to do together? Something nice I hope.
Im sorry about you feeling that you cant have feelings for your bestfriend. When you say her family dont like you talking to her, I cant imagine how difficult that is. If you could tell her you have feelings for her, what do you think she might say? What do you think would be the best thing that could happen if you told her.
Keep sharing. We are here with you.
Stay safe.
ps. im so sorry but there may have been a technical glitch - i cant seem to find your latest post, so im just responding here.
I'm sorry to hear that you do feel alone @Lost_lonely_kitten03 I know that thoughts of hurting yourself can become really isolating and confusing, so I just want to say that reaching out here is huge and we are so happy to have you as part of our community! Thats also really great to hear that your mum is going to make an appointment for you for this weekend. It sounds like you have some great support around you right now with your family, your friend and your big sister by heart. Do you find it a little bit better knowing that you have their support and that they are there for you?
Kids Helpline is actually a great support service for anyone up to the age of 25! So if you do ever want to talk to anyone, they are definitely worth reaching out to. They also offer loads of information and resources on things like Self-care, depression and even Coping with emotions.
I also came across this great article on the Headspace website about Self-Harm and what you can do if its on your mind. I wonder if it might give you some more ideas on things you can do to help manage these thoughts.
You mentioned that you used to use music as a distraction, what kind of music did you find the most helpful? Do you have a go-to artist that helps distract you?
I didn’t wanna reach out but the other night when I went to hurt myself I knew I needed to reach out before it was too late. Yeah it does feel good but sometimes I get the thoughts into my head that I will bother them so I keep my feelings in and pretend I’m okay..😔
My friend gave me an idea to start drawing every time I get the thoughts and I’m thinking about starting it… but I don’t have the courage to…
I love all kinds of music… lately I’ve been listening to sad songs and that hasn’t really helped me..
And yes I dooooo! I have 4!!! They ain’t artists tho, they are bands!! Gorillaz, Paramore, Chase Atlantic and Backstreet Boys!! Their music is the songs I sing when I’m sad or lonely…
And I honestly wanna say thank you for letting me be apart of this community💜
I know that it can be hard to reach out, even when you know you need to. It is great that you are able to reflect on this and think about how it might impact you. Drawing when you get the thoughts sounds like a good idea! What do you think would give you the courage to start drawing? If you're interested in other coping strategies or distractions, we have a whole heap here. It is important to find something that resonates with you.
I like Paramore and Chase Atlantic too. It sounds like you have a really broad music taste... same here! You mentioned that listening to sad songs doesn't help how you feel. Have you ever tried to listen to some other types of music?
You mentioned that you sometimes think you would bother your friends and family. Have you ever talked to them about feeling like a bother?
Just so you know, we have sent you an email if you don't mind replying to that please.
Hello, I'm so sorry for only just replying. I've been out with my family for the day.
I also started drawing a little bit last night when I had those thoughts again it really helped for a while thrn they came back, so I just sat in my room and watched my favourite tv show.
Paramore and Chase Atlantic have helped me in the past and their music is what I sing when I'm in a good mood or when I wanna be happy, it helps sometimes but not all the time. I kinda like to listen to them and hide that I'm struggling, which is a bad habit of mine😅
I was thinking about making a playlist of songs that make me smile and listen to them when I am feeling down and sad, or having those thoughts but I don't know how to.
My friends have said that I don't bother them but after so many people leaving when I get attached or clingy I get scared that they will leave and I try to push them away to protect myself... I'm just so used to people saying that they don't mind I'm clingy thrn leaving after they said it so it's nothing new but it still hurts.
And I just replied to the email
That's okay that you weren't able to respond any sooner @Lost_lonely_kitten03 How was your day with your family? What did you get up to? 😊
I love the idea of drawing when you are having heavy thoughts or even just a tough day. Personally, im not very good at drawing, I enjoy writing and love practicing calligraphy when things get really overwhelming. How did you find drawing? Did you find it helped you much? And what kind of things do you like to draw?
Paramore is one of my favourite bands too, so I can definitely understand why you might find them helpful! It's hard when music doesn't help all the time though. I found this great article that talks about how music can help us through tough times and also shares a couple of playlists too, which is a bit of fun. You mentioned that you were thinking about making a playlist but you weren't sure how. So I was wondering what platform do you usually use to listen to music on? I've found that Spotify is really easy to use and create playlists with. It has a free version which makes it easier to play around with, without spending any money.
I'm sorry to hear that so many people have left after you have felt attached to them @Lost_lonely_kitten03 I just want to say that we're all here for you and we are lucky to have you here with us 💜
Hello!!
It was really fun and I enjoyed it!! Getting away from all the stress for a while.
we went on a train ride and spent the day out at the shops.. we even went to build a bear where I made a cute little bear whose name is cuddles🥰 she is my other build a bears bestfriend🥰 my other build a bear's name is Rubie-Rose and she's my favorite because I got her when I was friends with my ex bestfriend.
I mean I'm not very good at drawing either but I just draw little things like flowers, butterflies, butterflies with halos and cruise ships. They ain't good but they distract me. It helped for aboht an hour then the thoughts came back so I sat down and binge watched friends😅
I use YouTube because I forget my login for Spotify😅 I started a playlist on there today when I was coming home from my day out. Mostly songs from Paramore, Chase Atlantic, Backstreet Boys and Gorillaz
It surprises me when people stay and don't care that I'm clingy or anything like that.
I have also found that making tik toks help. And watching snake videos on YouTube.
I am glad I reached out and came on here💜
I'm really glad you were able to get away from the stress for a while and have a nice day out 😊 How have you been sleeping?
It sounds like you have a really nice creative side with the drawing, making tik toks, and building bears! Adding in music, and you're doing a great job at creating a self-care/distraction tool-kit 💜💛 And this really helps others in the Community as well, so thank you for opening up about what you have been going through.
When you mention the stuff about being clingy, is it something specific, or has someone in the past said something to you to make you think that about yourself?
Hello!!
Ive been having trouble sleeping again... I haven't slept longer than 35 minutes last night/today😔 I've been trying to sleep but I can't.
I'm trying my best to make a good self-distraction tool-kit but it's hard sometimes when none of those work... like today they didn't work at all😔
Its a bit of both. I know I'm clingy because of how many times I message someone but I've been told in the past that I'm too clingy and need to change so I'm trying to change.. but my bad habits are getting worse again..
however I'm proud to say that I've been 7 days free from Alcohol... I was using that as a coping mechanism but I've stopped again which is good right??
Anywho I am struggling again to sleep tonight... at least I have a bit of distraction tomorrow cuz I have work but it's only for 4 and a half hours so I'll be alone with my thoughts again😕
I'm sorry to hear you weren't able to get much sleep again yesterday. Do you find you're able to have naps during the day? What do you think is the biggest barrier for you when it comes to getting to sleep/staying asleep?
That is amazing news about being alcohol-free for 7 days! 👏 A huge well done! If you'd like some support with cutting down on alcohol as a coping mechanism, SMART Recovery is a great service to check out 😊
It's really great to hear that your mum has been supportive with organising an appointment with your GP to look into getting a mental health care plan. If you feel like you'd like to chat to a counsellor before then, Headspace provide free counselling over the phone and via webchat too.
I'm going to send you an email soon too, so keep an eye out for that 💜
It's okay... I know it's got something to do with my mental health and the flashbacks that are making it harder for me to sleep/stay asleep... it might also be because of my energy drink addiction I recently gave myself..
and unfortunately I can't have naps during the day on week days because I work most days from 6am in the morning😬😬
I think my biggest barrier is the flashbacks from my past.. I'm not sure tho
um very proud of myself for getting away from alcohol and fighting the urge to touch it again😊
It's okay... I don't really like talking to counselors over the phone... I prefer to talk face to face... if that makes sense... plus it's Monday night already so only a few more days until I get to see the doctor..
I'm hoping that the doctor can help me with my sleep issues too... but I'll keep you updated on how it goes💜
Thanks again for allowing me to talk about how I feel and make me feel apart of the community💜
Gosh, @Lost_lonely_kitten03 dealing with flashbacks would make it so hard to sleep and stay asleep. But, it's so good that you're planning on letting the doctor know, and I hope they can provide you with support for this.
Thank you for letting us know that talking to someone face to face works better for you. I totally get what you mean! The cool thing about SMART recovery is that you can attend meetings in person with others going through addiction struggles. You can search where the meetings are in your area here if that interests you 🙂
How do you feel about the doctor's appointment coming up?
I'm so glad to hear that you feel a part of this community - we are lucky to have someone like yourself here!
Flashbacks are scary... when I'm having them I don't know what to do so I panic and hyperventilate but then I listen to Paramore and the hyperventilating stops... I don't know how to stop them from happening but at least I know how to slow my breathing down.
I've been okay with the addiction stuff.. I haven't touched alcohol for 9 days and I've officially been energy drink free for 1 day.. not a big milestone but it is to me☺️
I'm kinda nervous about the appointment because I'm scared imma be put in hospital or on anti-depressions... I hate taking any type of drug... but then again apart of me thinks that anti-depressions might help me... I don't know.. I'm nervous that they are gonna make me talk about everything on Thursday but then I realise it's only a doctors appointment to get a mental health care plan...
I know that the flashbacks are gonna get worse once I start opening up about everything but that's apart of recovery☺️
Well done on reaching 9 days alcohol free and 1 day of being energy drink free @Lost_lonely_kitten03 That is such a big achievement! 🎉 Have you thought about setting yourself a goal and treating yourself to something special at certain milestones? Is there something nice you can do for yourself to celebrate?
I'm so sorry to hear that the flashbacks have been causing you so much panic, I can only imagine how scary that must be. You mentioned that you know the flashbacks are going to get worse as you start opening up, so I was wondering what other grounding techniques you have tried and if you have noticed any difference with them. I also wanted to share a really great article that I found on Coping with Flashback's which might be worth reading. It shares a few different facts about flashback's and strategies to help you manage them. I wonder if something here might give you an idea of other things you could try.
I also want to add that its okay to feel nervous about your appointment. I know I get really anxious with upcoming appointments too and worry about what will happen, so I can understand where you're coming from. As you mentioned that a part of you thinks that anti-depressants might help, I was wondering if you would feel comfortable talking to your doctor about them? Sometimes it can really help to talk things through with someone who knows more about them and your situation and can even suggest alternate ideas too. I also think its really good just for peace of mind too 💜
I am really proud of myself and I went out today and brought myself a new necklace to celebrate🥰
The flashbacks were really bad last night but I did managed to sleep last night which boosted my mood a little this morning… however work was really stressful today and made me very frustrated and upset.. that’s when I started feeling alone and panicky.. however I calmed down after I cuddled my kitten after work🥰
I’ve been trying to distract myself from the appointment tomorrow but it hasn’t worked. So I’ve been thinking about talking to the doctor about going on Anti-depressions because maybe they will help but I will be voicing my thoughts about going on them..
I don’t really have any grouping techniques on dealing with my flashbacks but I will definitely read that article because maybe it will help🥰
I’m really proud of myself for it… so I went out and brought myself a new necklace🥰
I’ve been thinking maybe I should treat myself every month milestone so I stay on the right path but I don’t know😅
I actually spelt last night without having any flashbacks but I know that it was only because I was so tired. I have been reading a book every night for the past week and it has kinda helped… Falling asleep with a light on helps to but then I get freaked out when I have a flashback because of the light.. I’ll definitely read that article soon💜
I’ve spoken to my mum about it and she’s said to bring it up to them tomorrow and see where it goes. I’m scared that nothing is going to work tho😔 I’m scared even therapy won’t work..😔
On a brighter note tho I went 5 hours without having those thoughts about hurting myself today so I guess that’s a plus? However they are still there but I’ve mentioned to change the thoughts into happy thoughts until now..
That is so lovely to hear @Lost_lonely_kitten03 You deserve to treat yourself to something special, like a new necklace, especially after hearing that you made it through 5 hours without those thoughts today! We know how hard it has been for you lately and how hard you've been working to manage it all. I think setting a goal like that is such a great idea! Its really important to reward yourself and remind yourself that you really are doing a good job.
I'm sorry to hear that the flashbacks were really bad last night and that work was so stressful. That sounds like a lot to be dealing with today. Do you mind me asking if anyone at work knows what you've been going through recently? Is there maybe something nice you can do for yourself tonight to distract yourself a little bit? We have a really great article on self-care that might give you a couple of ideas on things you could do to keep yourself busy tonight.
I also want to say well done on talking to your mum about it @Lost_lonely_kitten03 I can only imagine how difficult and scary that would have been for you, so I just want to acknowledge how big that is! I think that proves just how brave and courageous you really are.
As there is no one-size-fits-all to treatments or medications, it can take a few tries to find something that works for you, so I just want to say well done on taking this step and giving this a try 💜
Hello! I am so sorry for not replying until now… I had work from 7-2 today and then I had my doctors appointment which I didnt end up going to because I was waiting and then I got a very upsetting phone call from my brother and I rushed home… I however am rescheduling my appointment for next week sometime hopefully my nan pulls thru… it’s been hard fighting my thoughts today especially with what’s going on with my nan…
A few of my bosses know but I haven’t really opened up about it… a friend of mine knows what’s going but I’m trying not to bother her with it..
I have been talking to my mum about a lot of things but today I haven’t because she’s been so upset about my nan so I’ve kept it to myself… however I’ve been talking to my friend about it and she’s helped me create a self-care plan for the next few days which is good and is definitely helping me tonight…
On a brighter note I slept for about 7 hours last night without any flashbacks so that’s a good sign
I'm so sorry to hear about your nana @Lost_lonely_kitten03 I can only imagine how hurt and heartbroken you must be feeling right now. I just want to remind you that you have the support of the whole online community behind you right now 💜
I think that's understandable that you couldnt make it to your appointment today, especially after everything that has happened. It sounds like there is a lot of pressure on your shoulders right now, so do you mind me asking if you are safe tonight?
You mentioned that you didn't want to bother your friend with how you're feeling, but I just want to say that no good friend would ever consider you a bother and i'm sure they would want to be there to support you, no matter how you're feeling.
I am glad to hear that you were able to come up with a self-care plan with your friend though! That is such a great idea! I'm glad to hear that you have the support of your friend right now. Would you feel comfortable sharing some of the things you included in your plan?
Thats great news that you were able to sleep for 7 hours without any flashbacks! You deserve some good news after today.
I have also sent you an email just to check-in and make sure you're okay tonight.
What nice things can you do for yourself tonight to help you get through after such a tough day? 💜
Hello. Sorry for the late reply… I was with my family last night and then I was at work today… it was a good distraction but my nana was always on my mind and each break I had I always rang my mum to see how my nana was… it not looking good but all I can do is pray that she makes it😓
I do have a lot of pressure on my shoulders right now however I did something very smart and took anything I can hurt myself with out of my room. I have been having those thoughts but not as much today… my mind has been on my nan and overthinking that I am losing my only nana left…
I spoke with one of my friends last night and then I saw her at work today and she told me that I am stronger then I think… she made sure I was okay. She even gave me a hug which made me cry because I needed a hug and I didn’t even have to ask..
The things on my self-care plan is: Have a relaxing shower.. face mask… playing a card game with my siblings… watching tv… reading my favourite series… listen to music and making sure I actually eat… I have been having a hard time to remember to eat… but I have eaten today…
I slept last night after I cried myself to sleep and I didn’t wake up because of a flashback… I was awake most of the night off and on tho… worried about my nana..
I just replied to the email and I feel really bad about not replying sooner..😞
I’m not sure what I can do for myself to make me relaxed because I’ve had 2 days that were tough… I’m struggling a little tonight but I am safe tonight💜
Thank you so much for checking in with us, and I'm incredibly sorry to hear about your nana, my heart is with both of you tonight.
I'm sure your nana would be very proud of you for taking those pro-active steps and making sure your room was safe 💛
I'm really glad that your friend gave you that hug. Is this someone that you're able to chat with tonight or over the weekend? If you need to talk to someone, and your friend isn't available, you can give Kids Helpline , Lifeline or Beyond Blue a call if you need to.
I understand that you're very upset and have a lot going through your mind right now. I'm guessing that you are going to struggle trying to sleep tonight as well, this link has a short winding-down mediation exercise, and this one has 45mins of meditative music if you need to listen to it later tonight 💜
Your self-care plan is really, really good - Which one of these go-tos were you looking at using tonight?
I'll respond to your email as well, so keep an eye out for that, and please keep checking-in over the weekend, you're so important to us and we're here to help support you.
I was meaning to reply earlier but I have a lot on my mind😞😞
She will be
Unfortunately no.. as she unadded me as a friend… not sure why but that’s okay… we weren’t really friends… we were co-workers friends… and that’s okay too… I do however have my best friend that I can talk to over the weekend…
I’m kinda in and out of sleep at the moment😅 so yup gonna struggle staying asleep😅
I’ll definitely try those things to hard if they make me stay asleep💜
Listen to music and cuddling my teddy/watching TV
And I’ll definitely keep checking in because talking you guys help me💜