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How to be an LGBTQIA+ ally 🌈
Celebrating the LGBTQIA+ community is in full swing with Mardi Gras happening at the moment, but it is important that we support LGBTQIA+ people all year round! So how do we do that? We have some great tips here for you to read through 😊
What are some ways you've been a good ally to your friends or family in the community? Or if you are someone who identifies as LGBTQIA+, what are some ways you've felt supported and cared for by others? We would love to hear your thoughts and suggestions below 🏳️🌈
Comments
It's so lovely to read everyone's responses and experiences, thank you for sharing! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤
As someone who is pansexual and also uses they/them pronouns, I think one of the ways I feel really supported by allies is when they use inclusive language. So if I'm talking about someone I like, they don't just presume I'm talking about a man or boyfriend or husband. Similarly, not just presuming I use she/her pronouns because I tend to look more feminine.
I know not everyone who is LGBTQIA+ feels this way, but for me, if in doubt just ask me. If you're unsure of what pronouns to use for me or what gender the person I'm dating is, I'd much rather you ask than presume 😊
If you feel nervous about asking someone about their pronouns, I think a really good way to do it is to offer yours first. So for example 'Hi, my name is Iona and I use they/them pronouns, what about you?'. Or if it's someone you aren't just meeting for the first time, 'I don't think I've mentioned this before but my pronouns are they/them, what are yours?'. Opening up and normalising these types conversations is super important.
Are there any other examples of language or words we use that make you feel more included and considered as someone who is LGBTQIA+?
hey @Iona-RO! i also find that inclusive language really helpful! personally i'm a fan of the uptick in people using the term 'partner' as it's now a normalised term to use in regards to a significant other. i like that you can use 'partner' instead of your partner's gender when in conversation if you're nervous about revealing your orientation. super handy!
Mardi Gras is such a joyful time of year for me. I love celebrating my identity as a lesbian, my wonderful relationship with my partner, and being part of a community that looks out for each other, and I think that allies are such an important part of that celebration.
I have a number of wonderful allies in my life, but my sister stands out as a shining example.
She's been incredibly supportive of who I am and who I love since I came out around 7 years ago, but more recently she's become a lot more active in the LGBTQIA+ community. I think what makes her a great ally is that she takes the time to educate herself on queer issues rather than expecting me to do all the heavy lifting. She often sends me links to LGBTQIA+ events that she'd like to go to with me, and she doesn't treat events like the Mardi Gras parade as just another opportunity to dress up and go out. Instead, she uses them as a chance to learn about the history of what queer people have gone through in this country, and often asks me if we can go to talks and forums about LGBTQIA+ art, culture and history so that she can better understand what it must be like to be me.
One of my favourite new developments in her journey as an ally is that she has worked out that queer culture is slightly different for gay men and women. She's binge watching all of the TV shows and web series that I watched as a closeted teen lesbian (like Carmilla and the L Word), and seeing her put in that kind of effort to try and understand what was important to me when I was grappling with my sexuality alone makes me feel so loved, supported, and most of all, seen.❤️🧡💛💚💙💙💜
My advice to allies would be to step up and step back - ask questions, do some research, watch shows, get involved, but also get curious and create a space to listen to your queer friends and what is important to them. At the heart of it, gay, bi, pan, trans, intersex and queer people are just that - people - so what we need from you is going to be as individual and unique as us!
Aww love this ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜 Love the bit on the graphic about learning about the issues that are important to the community. It means a lot to me especially because some lesser known identities on the rainbow can sometimes get overlooked and people don't know/care about the issues we face; it makes me feel so supported if someone cares about my community and our struggles, even if they don't share my identity.
Also I really appreciate it when someone who isn't queer, or who is a different flavour of queer to me, lets me talk about my identity and what it means to me 🙂 I mean not invasive, but respectful and thoughtful questions from someone who really wants to understand. It makes me feel like they recognise that my queer identity is an important part of who I am so they are putting effort into 'getting it'.
Isn't it so nice when someone with a different flavour of queer (love that term 😊) is open to hearing about your identity?
It's so important that the lesser-known identities on the rainbow have a space and voice of their own. I really like how you highlighted this - because being an ally isn't just for our cishet friends, but also the whole lgbtiqa+ community 🏳️🌈