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Anger

I have been feeling so angry, i can't control my anger and i dont know what to do

leles_arah
leles_arahPosted 08-11-2021 04:00 PM
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HappyApples
HappyApplesPosted 13-11-2021 09:09 PM

Hey @leles_arah ! I just wanted to say that I think it's a massive first step for you to realise that you may not have control of your anger & to be wanting to learn how to deal with it 💛I think that's awesome. 

 

There's been some great advice in this thread; for me, I also think awareness (like you're showing by posting on this forum) was a huge step. Once I realised that sometimes I can't control what slips out of my mouth when I'm mad, anytime I feel the anger build a little bit (sometimes it's even physical reactions like the furrowing of the eyebrows or the clenching of the jaw), I just sort of remind myself repetitively to not say anything (and just take a moment to sit in silence and think things through first before I respond). 

 

But as people have said, the anger itself is normal! 

 

Things like this may also take some time, so try and be gentle with yourself too 💛How are you feeling recently?

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goldwing03
goldwing03Posted 13-11-2021 06:51 PM

Hello @leles_arah, is there any particular reason or trigger for your anger?

 
WheresMySquishy
WheresMySquishyPosted 11-11-2021 09:46 AM

Hi @leles_arah! Welcome to the forums!

Thanks so much for sharing your experience of anger with us. I think that feeling anger is often misunderstood and stigmatised because there are a lot of messages in society that tell us that it's bad to express our emotions. But it's normal to experience anger. It tells us that the way that we are being treated is unfair and that we deserve better. We can choose the way that we express that feeling.

Other than meditation, what else have you tried to keep yourself from taking your anger too far?

 
goldwing03
goldwing03Posted 08-11-2021 10:02 PM

Hi @leles_arah  

I highly reccomend meditation- you should try it just for five minutes at a time for now and see if it helps you calm down.  

Has anything happened lately that has made you feel this day? I know feeling like you are out of control with your feelings can be scary. Here to talk xx

 
 
leles_arah
leles_arahPosted 10-11-2021 10:06 AM

i've tried meditation, it's really hard for me to focus for five minutes straight.  I just live with my mum and my dad left when i was really little and i found out my mum has had a letter from him to me and she kept it from me. That really made me mad

 
Portia_RO
Portia_ROPosted 08-11-2021 04:26 PM

Hey @leles_arah and welcome to the online community 😀

 

I'm sorry to hear that you've been struggling with feelings of anger. Anger is defintely a normal emotion to experience, but it doesn't feel very good when it gets out of control and it can be super exhausting. Do you feel comfortable telling us a little more about what's going on for you? Is there anything in particular that has triggered your anger lately? 

 
 
leles_arah
leles_arahPosted 10-11-2021 10:04 AM

If someone even says the tiniest comment that annoys me, i just snap and get so mad at them

 
 
 
Philippa-RO
Philippa-ROPosted 10-11-2021 11:59 AM

@leles_arah I just wanted to say that I feel like anger gets a bad rap sometimes - people tend to think of it as a negative emotion, but a lot of good things come out of anger - people get angry about injustices in the world and that's how we end up with really positive change. 

Sometimes things aren't right, or people wrong us, and it's normal to feel anger about that - anger itself isn't a problem, I think it's more how we express it that can cause issues. 

 

When you said you found out that your mum was withholding a letter from your dad, I think that would be a time when a lot of people might feel angry or hurt - how did that make you feel, and were you able to tell your mum how you felt about it?

 

When you say you 'snap and get so mad' - I'm wondering what that's like for you, and how that happens? Eg. is it a fast process, or does it happen when the other person does or says certain things? Are there times when you feel angry and you're able to talk it through with the other person and it feels positive or productive? If so, I'm wondering what's different about those times?

Sorry that was a lot of questions! 

 

I notice myself when I get angry about something, it helps me a lot not to respond straight away. 

I've realised that I need some time and space alone to think about what I'm feeling and what's upset me, before I deal with talking to the other person.

If I can get that, then I'm more likely to be able to explain what I'm feeling without snapping if that makes sense.

 

Everyone is different in what they need, but I'm wondering if you've noticed anything that helps you to express your anger in ways that feel less stressful for you?

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