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Feels like I'll be waiting forever
I'm trying to get help. But whatever I do involves waiting.
Doesn't seem that bad.
Except that I've been waiting about three years for help with pretty severe mental illness.
Not all at once, that would be too obvious.
Just bit by bit.
A week, a month. A week, six months. Two days. A week. Two months. Two weeks. Three months, one month. Two months, two weeks. Five days, one hour.
Now I'm waiting for a few days. Not too bad.
But it won't just be a few days. It's never just a few days.
People get annoyed when I want progress too quickly.
But if I start waiting, it will never stop.
I'm not even scared that I'll never find help. I'm scared that I'll never stop waiting for it. No matter what I do or how hard I work, I'm just waiting.
@Taylor-RO yeah mostly disempowering. But I think that the whole system is set up to make people feel like that.
Apparently I have an interview to see if I can do some more waiting to maybe get into a metal health service. Assuming that it isn't cancelled like everything else.
I hope your interview isn't cancelled @Tiny_leaf I have my fingers and toes crossed for you! How are you going today?
I wish you weren't in this situation either @Tiny_leaf feeling like you're waiting forever is just so exhausting. How has things been with your case worker and support coordinator? I remember you mentioned they were both really passionate and good at advocating. I hope they can push for more supports to come through for you
@Tiny_leaf i am sorry finding help has been so hard for you it shouldnt be so hard it really shouldnt, i cant really say much that is helpful but i am sitting with you. (also if you reply and i dont i am not ignoring you but it might take me a little time).
So apparently I have a meeting on Monday.
Idk I want to be optimistic but it's hard...
Heaps of verbal abuse from my brother has really started my day off well.
I particularly love the targeting of my illnesses and disabilities, as well as his display of the privilege he gets from not having them.
(yes, that's sarcasm)
@Tiny_leaf I am sorry about your brother that stuff can be really hurtful i had a similar issue with my sister for a while and my mother would always ignore it but it has improved since my sister has grown up and had some more life experience. idk about brothers though i dont have any but it really does suck for you that that sort of tension is around you all the time.
So.. update.
I now just need to wait till 3pm (WA time).
I'm so nervous.
They probably won't help me but I'm still really hoping they will.
Hey @Tiny_leaf , I hope it goes well! Keep us posted on how you go, we'll be thinking of you. And well done for being so persistent and such an awesome advocate for yourself, I know you've put a lot of work in to finding supports.
@Janine-RO Idk how it went, but I feel really tired and defeated.
@Tiny_leaf i am really really sorry about that let us know if we can do anything.
It's really hard to balance my mental health with following social distancing and all that.
Like.. I'd been starting to use leaving the house more to reduce my depression.
Or using novelty as a way to deal with bordem.
Or spending time with my support workers to reduce loneliness.
It's hard. Because I need coping mechanisms. But the ones I've been slowly building up are being taken away.
Oh also I can't go to my grandad's funeral because of the new limits.
Hey @Tiny_leaf,
I am so so deeply sorry to hear about some of the things you've had to go through recently. Grief is one of the most difficult emotions to process, and having to deal with the death of someone you love is stressful and exhausting. This would only be made harder by how difficult everything has become in the past month.
As strange as it might sound, it's ok not to be ok right now. A lot of the time we can put a big emphasis on feeling good, or even feeling ok. However, there will be moments in our life where this just won't be, or can't be true. It really, really does suck, but in these times all we can do is just take things as slow as we need to. Think about things one day at a time, or even one hour at a time if that is more manageable. RO will always be here to support you, so you can lean on us whenever you need to ❤️
So my computer shut down last time I tried to post this.
But my volunteering place has decided on some new measures to deal with the virus.
Apparently they're just an inconvenience for everyone.
Basically, there's only allowed to be one person in each vehicle, the driver. Everyone else has to walk.
People aren't allowed to work together anymore. One person per enclosure.
I can't drive. But I can't walk those kind of distances either, thanks to my body.
I struggle with working independently, I need someone with me to help.
Looks like all the accommodations that I need to volunteer have been taken away.
And they're acting like it's just gonna be a mild inconvenience for everyone.
But it's not.
I might not be able to volunteer any more.