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I am having a hard time

I am really struggling with some thoughts at the moment and I really am not sure what to do. I keep thinking that everyone around me has been planted and they aren’t really people well they are like people but they are controlled by others and I am scared that these others are trying to trick me into staying with them it is complicated but I feel like they are putting things in my head and can hear what I am thinking and that they are putting stuff in my food to help them get into my head and to make me feel weird and I heard some of them talking and I am just super stressed about all of this and I can’t talk to anyone about this because I can’t trust anyone and they can’t know that I know and it is really hard to explain and I thought this would just go away but it isn’t and I am not sure what to do. 

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Re: I am having a hard time

Hey @Eden1717 ❤

I can't even imagine what that must be feeling like for you, it's sounds pretty full on!! Thoughts, unless they are positive ones, SUCK!! And I'm sorry to hear yours are so scary at the moment. It almost sounds like they have you feeling paranoid that something bad is going to happen or someone is going to hurt you? 

 

I think I remember you mentioning on one of my posts that you struggle to open up and trust psychologists because you feel like they are going to harm you? Is that correct? I'm just wondering if you have anyone around you, maybe a good friend, family member, teacher even? That you might feel comfortable sharing some of this with? 

 

I'd just hate to think you're alone with this going on for you because I know how scary thoughts can be because I've had some along the same sort of lines before. I think it's really important for you to try and find it in yourself to trust someone, it just has to be one person. But I think that being able to voice how you're feeling (and you only tell the person what you're comfortable with) will really help!!!! I know it's not easy, and especially when you're having those sorts of thoughts which are all mostly based around trust but I promise it'll do you a world of good to have someone to confide in face to face. Or even if you wrote a letter to a friend or family member explaining some of your thoughts? Just so they know what's going on for you and can help you seek the best care? I really wish I could help in some way!!! Are there times when you notice the thoughts get louder? Like any particular things/situations that you feel trigger it?

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Re: I am having a hard time

@MB95  thanks for the reply. I really can’t trust anyone with this and I can’t tell anyone all of what is going on either like I am not I can’t but I can’t say why either and there is just a lot happening. But it isn’t just that I don’t trust them like I don’t think they are them or they are but like everyone is not really a full person like their body is a shell and they are being controlled by the things that are trying to keep me here but they don’t know that they aren’t actually full people so they think they are them and I know they are using the ‘people’ to keep me here and there is no way for me to go because they will know because they can get into my head and ugh it is so hard to explain and the psychs will hurt me if they find out about the other things and it is just really hard to explain and I am sorry I don’t mean to sound mad or anything I just feel weird. 

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Re: I am having a hard time

Hey @Eden1717 

 

That sounds really difficult. I'm guessing these thoughts are quite frightening for you. I can't imagine what it would be like to think that people who are there to help me aren't actually themselves or are being controlled by other beings. I know you mention that these thoughts exist, but are they something that just enter your mind, or you do you believe them whole-heartedly?

 

When did these thoughts/beliefs start occurring?

 

Is there anyone in your life that you do trust at the moment?

 

Heart

 

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Re: I am having a hard time

Don't be sorry @Eden1717  I can tell you are scared and unsure of what to believe or think, and rightfully so. Thoughts like that would be so confusing and distressing!! I'm glad you at least feel comfortable expressing some of it on here so you're not completely alone ❤

 

When you say you think they are trying to 'keep you here' what do you mean by that? It sounds like there is something bigger that you may fear and that these thoughts are getting in the way of you dealing with that fear and seeking the appropriate help to overcome it? I don't know. I am in no way an expert or have knowledge on what to do but I'm happy to listen and try give suggestions. 

 

I was also wondering, and this is personal so don't answer if you don't feel comfortable, but are you on any medications at the moment? The thoughts could even be a result of something like that? I know I was pretty paranoid about things when I got on medication and had similar kind of thoughts? They weren't as full on but they definitely had me freaking out alot more than normal and alot were to do around the topic of trust for me. 

 

How are you feeling today with it all? 

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Re: I am having a hard time

@Eden1717 that sounds so difficult... 

 

Are there any things you could do to help you feel a bit safer for now? Sometimes it can really help to have somewhere that you feel more comfortable and have more space to think.

For me, even something like a blanket fort helps me feel a lot safer (plus I enjoy making them). 

 

With your psychs, have you ever told them about something like this before? How did they react then?

 

I know that this won't solve the problem, but self care could be something to help you cope with it a bit more. Do you think something like that might help you a bit? 

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Re: I am having a hard time

@MB95  It is hard to explain what i mean by “here” and would kind of likely bring up more questions... I am not on any medications they don’t work for me and make things a lot worse. 

 

@Tiny_leaf  I am trying to do self care stuff I have been watching Netflix and trying to do relaxing things but it isn’t really helping much. I have told my psychs about similar stuff before it did not end well. 

 

@Maddy-RO  there is not anyone I fully trust or feel I can trust right now and I know you asked me some other questions but I don’t feel ok to answer them because you could also be one of these non people people and I don’t think I should answer that .... it is hard to explain. 

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Re: I am having a hard time

@Eden1717 I'm sorry, it's awful when professionals let you down like that..

What would a good response from them look like do you think?

 

Also on an unrelated note, do you have a favourite show? 

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Re: I am having a hard time

@Tiny_leaf  I don’t know but if they could at least be gentle with me and not push me so much it would be better. I don’t have a favorite show I just watch whatever I feel like at the time. What about you? 

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Re: I am having a hard time

@Eden1717 I definitely know what you mean.. 

Hmm.. I have a few.. the RSPCA one's probably my favorite though.