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Re: I am having a hard time

Hi @Eden1717,

 

I'm really sorry to hear today has been a difficult day Heart You have mentioned the word "stuck" a few times, and that is a really hard space to sit in. 

 

Those days are painful when our bodies and minds shut down, and they don't do the things we want to do, or can't process the things we are trying to work through. For me these sorts of days feel like I am wearing an invisible weighted blanket that makes everything feel heavy and sore, other people can't see it but I feel it there. What does the feeling being 'stuck' look and feel like for you? Are there days where that feeling of being stuck is higher/lower?

 

Very grateful you reached out to us today Heart On days it is hard to talk, or when things are overwhelming and you want to put the words somewhere, we are here for you

__________

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Re: I am having a hard time

@Jess1-RO  I don’t know how to describe the feeling I just feel like I can’t do things.

 

i feel like no one around me understands my experiences and I know everyone is different but it is hard not being able to talk about a big part of my life because other don’t understand or get scared by it. It is hard to focus when you are distracted by things others aren’t experiencing I feel like my head is constantly in 11 different places and I am trying really hard but I feel like I have to do certain things and I can’t say on here what I want to or anywhere and I am worried and I can’t explain why. I ugh I want to scream and cry. 

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Re: I am having a hard time

Heya @Eden1717 

 

That must be such a hard feeling to be experiencing. It's important to feel heard and understood - even about things that are "scary" to some people. Mental health challenges can be uncomfortable to talk about, so when you finally do open up, it can hurt when people don't know how to support you. I hope you know that you can share whatever you feel safe to share here. We aren't scared by speaking about your experiences and we think you're incredibly brave for doing so. 

 

It sounds like you're holding a lot of thoughts and emotions inside. When I feel like there are things I need to get off my chest, but can't tell anyone about, I write it all down and then rip it up/throw it away. It kinda helps to get it all out, without actually telling anyone. Do you think that could help to get some of these heaving emotions out? 

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Re: I am having a hard time

@Bre-RO  That doesn’t help. Ripping up paper just makes a bigger mess. 

 

I am really nervous and and I feel weird today. I am trying to keep myself together but my eating issues are getting really bad again and I want to cry because of it all the time. Food is so stressful and yet it takes up so much of my thoughts. The other part of my thoughts is taken up with stuff I also cannot talk about anywhere. I want to scream but again I cannot. The ocd stuff is still getting worse and I pretty much feel physically sick 24/7 due to stress which just makes the eating harder I don’t even know what to do anymore and I keep getting nervous about things. I can’t explain it ugh I am so I just don’t feel good. I am trying but it is never ever good enough. 

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Re: I am having a hard time

Hey @Eden1717 

 

I'm hearing that you're really distressed. It sounds like you feel like you have little to no control over your thoughts at the moment. It must be SO frustrating for them to feel all-consuming. And it must be so distressing for negative thoughts to occur on repeat. I don't blame you for wanting to scream. I would feel the same.

 

I trust that you are doing what you need to get through this rough time. After all, you've tackled something like this before, right?

 

If you don't mind me asking, what do you usually do to help yourself in these moments?

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Re: I am having a hard time

@Maddy-RO  Yes I am doing what I need to do. I am mostly trying to distract myself however I can, usually that is like watching some of my favorite shows on Netflix or listening to music or reading or doing art. Or if I can’t focus enough for any of those it is playing with my pets. 

 

I am just trying to get through each moment which is hard but there isn’t much else I can do at this point. 

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Re: I am having a hard time

I think those ideas are great @Eden1717! I really admire you wanting to try different coping strategies. Smiley Happy

Does anything else help when you're feeling like this? Sometimes, I use relaxation and imagery techniques when I'm struggling with bad thoughts. They don't help everyone though.

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Re: I am having a hard time

Hey @Eden1717! Smiley Happy
Just checkin in on how you’re doing today? I hope you’re ok!
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Re: I am having a hard time

@WheresMySquishy @Bananatime04  Thanks, nothing really ever works in the sense that it makes me feel better it just physically occupies me so I am not as able to think about it. I am still not feeling great I am really not coping with the eating issues and the other day I cried in the car because of it and because I can’t cry anywhere else without people finding out. Plus now the thing I was worried about changing has indeed changed the way I thought it would which makes me sad and I don’t know what to do because there is nothing I can do to make it better and I feel like I have lost this thing somewhat. I am trying very hard to manage everything and I have a lot I am meant to do but I keep getting scared I will mess everything up. Still the only way to go now is through and even though I know I cannot afford to break down I still feel like I am going to so that is my life now constantly on the edge unable to move either over or to take a step back just hovering and exhausted. And that is how it will be forever I knew this already I was kind of prepared but it still is hard but there is nothing I can do. 

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Re: I am having a hard time

Hi @Eden1717 

I am just catching up on posts. I really hear how much everything is impacting you right now. You mentioned that you are trying hard to manage everything right now, and I wanted to say that from all of the posts I have read you are doing an incredible job! I am always blown away by how resourceful and determined you are, and I am sure many users here feel the same. It makes perfect sense that you are feeling exhausted given everything that you have been going through, it sounds so tough, we are here to listen Heart