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Re: I don't fit in

Thank you all so much,

 

I'm pretty sure it is the gay friend that sits with us he likes all the atention drawn to him but when the attention is focused on me he gets upset that his power has been taken away and so he excludes me from most social events. Is it just a control thing why I don't get invited to things and why people regect my invites?

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Re: I don't fit in

It very well could be, @Hicks

Highschool can really suck for that reason
we are what we repeatedly do - aristotle
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Re: I don't fit in

But is there a way that I can get through this because every grou that I go to he seems to be there

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Re: I don't fit in

hey @Hicks 

It sounds like this person might be having a big impact on your ability to make friends and socialize at school.

 

Do you think he realises what he is doing is hurting you ?

 

How could you approach him in a respectful way to let him know that the way he is acting is affecting you? 

 

Would you feel comfortable talking to your school counsellor about it ? 

If you banish the dragons, you banish the heroes
- Andrew Solomon
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Re: I don't fit in

Yeah @RecoveryandHope 's suggestion to speak to the counsellor at school could be helpful!

This guy seems like an all rounder who has a lot of power over several groups.
Maybe seeing friends one on one could be helpful to get to know people and get more involved, groups often stick together when excluding and therefore a group can be harder to reach than one person on their own.
Are there any individual friends in the group you feel you could hang out with, grab a coffee, get lunch together with?
we are what we repeatedly do - aristotle
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Re: I don't fit in

He knows what he is doing is hurting my social life that's why he does it. I have talked to the school counciler about it and they say that I should find a new group. However I can't join a new group because he is a social butterfly and talks to pretty much every group in the school.

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Re: I don't fit in

hey @Hicks Good on you for seeing the school councellor, it can sometimes help to speak to someone that isn't involved. Trying to approach a whole group can be really intimidating and overwhelming. It's hard to know why these things happen, you seem like a very kind and considerate person. Try to remember that while you may not be the most popular person at school you still have a lot of people that care about you and who are there for you. I think once people get to know you they will realise how wonderful you are!

 

I think what @Craycray17 suggested might be a good idea - are you able to speak to any of them one on one? From experience, sometimes it's better to develop relationships one on one first and then it will be easier to face a group. 

 

 

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Re: I don't fit in

I've already tried talking to them but they just ignor me. I've already tried everything I possibly can.

Re: I don't fit in

Maybe rather than bringing up the issue with individual friends, @Hicks, if you put this issue aside and just hung out with some one on one it may be a way to show them who you are Smiley Happy what do you think?
we are what we repeatedly do - aristotle
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Re: I don't fit in

Hey @Hicks, I know it can really suck when things aren't good with friends. I really liked @Craycray17's suggestion of spending some one on one time with different friends. Hanging out in that setting might start to form some stronger ties with them.

 

Let us know what you think and how things are going.