Um wel ,lThis is a first for me , going online with this . I moved state around 5 years ago from melbourne where I was working had went outwith friends stuff like that . since I've been here my cousin and friends made me feel good about moveing and I like all my new friends . but slowly I just stopped doing things . I can't get a job because I don't have the paper to show that I know how to do the job and everytime I try to get it I fuck it up some how . I worked for 13 years in Personal care alway being told that I was one of the best people on stuff and did thing right. Now I just feel like , nothing . I pretend when I see people that I'm happy/normal or whatever that is , most the time even thou I do like catching up I feel like I can't . I don't know . anyway I'm here to try and find out how to help myself , because I don't know what to do , I have no energy anymore . All I do is sleep most of the day look for a job online , I don't feel alive anymore I just a bit of meat with a brain . Where do I start ,I've told some of my mates and they think I'm a drama queen . I feel like a joke
Sorry to hear that you're feeling down and that when you opened up to your friends, you didn't get the support you were looking for. You did the right thing in trying to find someone to talk to about it - so I'm glad you came here!
Being out of work can make it hard to stay active and positive, but it sounds like when you were working, you were doing really well at your job, so I'm sure you can get back there again. Feeling down when you're out of work is not uncommon, so know that you are not alone!
There are a few different things you can do to try to help lift your mood while you look for work. Here's a page which talks about a few of the options. If possible, talking to your GP about it might be a good first step.
Reachout is aimed at people under 25 - so you may not find everyone's story applicable to your situation - but there are lots of experiences shared here that include unemployment and depression. Another option for you is Lifeline, who cater to all ages. Their website is: http://www.lifeline.org.au/ and their phone number is 13 11 14.
Have you managed to find an employment service provider to help you on the job side of things?
I enjoyed reading your story, not because I enjoy hearing about all the stuff that's making you feel down, but because I used to be in a very similar position to where you're at now, and I was able to work my way out of it. These days I'm back on top, but I didn't always feel like I was.
I totally get how frustrating it can be when you're feeling like you're failing all the time. I went through a period of failing my studies, I know it isn't the same as not being able to keep a job, but pretty soon I started feeling terrible, I couldn't sleep at night and did most of my sleeping during the day, I cried a lot when I went to bed and I started scoffing down a lot of food even when I wasn't hungry. I knew that I had the symptoms of depression, but I spend a good year suffering from them before I decided it was time to seek some help. For some reason I thought what I was going through was normal and then one day I decided I wasn't going to put up with it anymore.
I wanted to share this with you in the hopes that it'd encourage you to talk to a health professional. Telling your story online is a great first step, and telling your story to someone in person can be hard, but I really encourage you to look into it. Whatever you're going through a GP will be able to help you out.
If I regret anything I've done recently, it was sitting around and suffering in silence, while I put on my 'I'm ok' mask for everyone else.