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Isolation and hopelessness

I've suffered with isolation, anxiety  and depression for a majority of my life, and having lived with it for so long; I have no idea how to get out of it...nor even how to deal with it when/if I do. I have no idea how to converse and socialize with people anymore, no idea how to have fun or joke around. When faced with socializing; my mind goes completely clouded and i have nothing to talk about...I always end up sitting on the outskirts, trying to look busy on my phone.  I'm so alone, and having no one what so ever to talk to is eating me up inside and making my depressive state even worse. I don't see a way out of it...I've never been able to maintain a healthy friendship - I don't even know how to anyway...Everything is such an effort. I cant even talk to my family about anything, nor can I even have a laugh with them. There's honestly no joy in living to be quite frank...

Re: Isolation and hopelessness

Hi @Kirra_May, it sounds like things are really tough for you at the moment. Good on you for reaching out! It's such a scary thing to do but also really important for you to be able to get some support! 

Know that you are not alone, I think everyone has struggled with feeling lonely and isolated at some point. And a lot of people struggle with it on a daily basis. You said that you can't talk to your family about anything, have you tried talking to anyone else about how you feel?

 

- Hayley R/O

Re: Isolation and hopelessness

Indeed... I only have my immediate family and my psychologist. (Of which I cannot afford to see right now.) :/ 

Re: Isolation and hopelessness

Hey @Kirra_May is the loneliness caused by no-one being around or you feel you don't have anything in common with the people you are around? Super sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. We're all here to listen and support you (I'll tag some other members at the bottom of the post). With the Psych, have you been on the mental health plan before? Want to check this before we give up on the psych notion completely Smiley Happy

 

In terms of loneliness - what's the ideal situation look like to you? Even with your anxiety. Do you wish to meet some people who accept your anxiety, who you have common interests with? Or do you wish to crush your anxiety first then meet new people?

 

Sorry for all the questions Smiley Happy Just trying to get a really good grasp of what is going on for you Heart

 

What's everyone reckon? @scared01 @Bee @Asche @redhead?

Re: Isolation and hopelessness

Hey @Kirra_May Trying to recover from anxiety and depression can be pretty tough. It's great that you have the support of a psychologist to help you.
I'm sorry to hear that you struggle to talk to your family. I have found this very difficult myself so I can sympathise with the difficulty there.

Do you have a gp that you see to manage your conditions? Sometimes having someone else to check in with helps.

How can we best help you work through this?

Remember you're amazing just as you are Heart

Re: Isolation and hopelessness

hi @Kirra_May 

i definently understand isloation. its really horrible to feel. i think there has been enough questions asked at this stage so will wait for you to answer those Smiley Happy but im here supporting you whenever you need 

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**
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Re: Isolation and hopelessness

Hello @Kirra_May,

 

How about showing up at places where you are interested in? Book meets with your favourite author, concerts of your favourite artist. You are bound to find people who are like you and it would be much easier to talk to too. Likewise, there are some activities that do not require much talking. Team sports enables you to bond through training, bond through camaraderie and it feels good to know you can be relied upon. If you join a beginner team, well no one is good and everyone stuffs up so you can feel less self conscious about yourself and everyone can improve together. There are some clubs that aren't super competitive so you can just have fun.  

 

In public, i think try smiling more and maybe just approaching people. If you appear friendly without something that signal you would like to be left alone (phone, book etc), then people are more likely to approach you. If you meet someone's gaze, smile or walk over. If you do not know what to talk about, ask about them. People love to talk about themselves, saves you the trouble of talking whilst at the same time they will love you for being a good listener. That skill is something that is not common yet appreciated nowadays. Ask open ended questions and see where it takes you. Most people are friendlier than you think, so try it and see. Smiley Happy 

 

If there is no joy, find joy. If you don't believe, you don't receive and no pain no gain. So at least try to throw yourself into whatever it is you are doing, fun comes unexpectedly and even a trip to the market can be fun if you just open yourself to the experiences and feel. Look, touch, smell. Take time to admire and appreciate things and before you know it, life will be worth living for the small things. Search up inspirational poetry and quotes for strength. You are not alone, rely on those around you more.

 

You can do it @Kirra_May!

 

Winter Rain  

Re: Isolation and hopelessness

Bree-ro - I have my mum and her partner, then my dad around me; but I can barely talk to them and I definitely don't relate to them. I miss communication and being able to blend with people... Hm, I live too far away from suburbia and people-dense areas; so I really don't see many people in general.. My depression has been pretty bad over the last few years, so I have little to no real hobbies or interests...so it's immensely hard to find people that I can click with. I'm literally like talking to a brick wall.

Loneliness, well... It's sitting at home all the time, either cleaning or trying to take up time staring at my phone on the same repetitive apps. I barely speak to anyone on social media, since even on there I have nothing to talk about. I'm hopeless about my future and I have no idea how to do a n y t h i n g, which occupies my mind a lot and it depletes my mood.

My anxiety is driven by my physical insecurities and because when faced with conversation I can't add to it. My mind is so clouded and it's like I've completely slowed down? Physically and mentally...even problem solving takes double the time. :/

Bee - I came close to overcoming my mental struggles, but my medication worked "too well" (apparently) and I was sent into a psychotic episode and put in hospital. They took away my antidepressants and now I've had a relapse.. I do have a GP, but it's like he's oblivious to mental illness. Very hard to talk to.

Winter_rain - I have little to no interests, and making conversation with people is near-impossible right now. I don't think I'll be able to make friends until I've mentally recovered.. :/ Money and transportation is very hard as well.

 

Re: Isolation and hopelessness

Hey @Kirra_May, I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. I'm also sorry to hear that your GP is oblivious to your mental illness. Have you tried contacting a helpline like Lifeline and Kids Helpline about this yet? I know that Kids Helpline is free to call and that both services offer web counselling if you prefer chatting to someone online than by phone.
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Hope is just around the corner; you think it's not there when you first look straight ahead, but it actually is when you turn around

Re: Isolation and hopelessness

Hello @Kirra_May,

 

Thanks for your reply. I know, these things take time. Just promise me you'll try ok? That's all i ask of you. We will help you until you have mentally recovered so think of us as friends ok? Feel free to talk to us anytime you like, we will be here on ReachOut. As for transportation, bus is a good alternative or maybe even biking or walking if you could find something you might want to do close to home. Exercise makes you healthy and improves your mood as well. Smiley Happy I am not sure about where you live, but close to mine there is a community centre that has club meets and stuff that are free. As for money, how about busking or selling homemade cupcakes or selling your own artworks? You could try odd jobs like walking people's pets or babysitting? You can sell stuff you do not need anymore on websites like Gumtree and there are some companies that offer you money to do surveys so do a search online and see. Just try lots of things and i am sure you will find your interest soon! Smiley Happy You can do it @Kirra_May, believe in yourself. You are not alone, try to open up a little more each day. Roses are most beautiful when they are in full bloom. Smiley Wink 

 

Winter Rain