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Losing your virginity and losing a friend

Recently lost my virginity to a guy I didn’t even like, I wasn’t sober at the time and it happens to be one of my best friends ex.... they broke up a few weeks ago and I was there to help her through it. Unfortunately it was at a party and people found out and told her before I could and now she’s very cranky with me and telling everyone. People are now saying I’m a whore and a slut... I know I’m in the wrong but how do I deal with this , I really didn’t want to lose her as a friend and I don’t want everyone spreading crap because it will eventually get to my parents and I really don’t want them finding out. Please help me out?☹️(This only happened last night/ this morning) 

Re: Losing your virginity and losing a friend

Hi @Girl12345 welcome to ReachOut and thank you for sharing. It sounds like a lot has happened in a short amount of time. I firstly want to check if you are okay? You mentioned this happened at a party when you weren't sober. I'm wondering if you've had the chance to sit down with your friend and talk to her about what happened? I'm sorry to hear that people are now calling you names, that's awful Smiley Sad In terms of some support I would suggest contacting Kids Helpline and eHeadspace to chat to a counsellor either on the phone or via webchat. We're here for you Heart

Re: Losing your virginity and losing a friend

I’m not really that good, I just hate that she spreading bad stuff about me , I know she’s hurt but it’s not making things easy on me. She lives 2 hours away so it’s a bit hard to sit down and talk to her. I tried calling her to explain and sort stuff out but she wasn’t interested in hearing it. Thank for the support suggestions, I do have a councellor but I won’t be able to see her for a few weeks over the school holidays.

Re: Losing your virginity and losing a friend

Hey there @Girl12345 and welcome! Smiley Happy How have you been?

I'm sorry to hear about this whole situation, it sounds like things have been difficult for you. You mentioned that you tried calling her but it didn't work, do you think texting or emailing would work better?
It's great that you have a counselor you see Smiley Happy Over the holiday break, do you think giving KHL might help keep that support going while you wait for school to come back?

I hope you are having a good week Smiley Happy

Re: Losing your virginity and losing a friend

Hi @Girl12345 I’m sorry you’re going through such a shitty situation. @Lan-RO and @Jay-RO have made some excellent suggestions about talking to your friend and some helplines you can contact. I just wanted to pop in and let you know that I’ve also been through similar situations. I myself lost my virginity while I was drunk and have many times slept with people while I was drunk and regretted it. Sometimes it can be really hard to deal with all the feelings caused by it. I know I felt shame and guilt constantly because of my actions. I just want you to know that you are not a bad person or a whore or a slut because of this. People can be very cruel, especially when they are hurt. It usually doesn’t last forever though. 

 

Have you heard back from your friend at all? What if she needs some time to calm down and sort out her own feelings before talking to you? Do you think giving her space might help?