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Nothing is changing

So.... I'm in a really difficult situation at the moment.

 

I'm completely overwhelmed and I'm struggling to make progress with anything. I feel like I'm in one of those hamster wheels.

I'm getting restless and agitated and I don't know if it's from my meds changing recently or from the fact that I'm not able to move forwards with anything.

I need to keep moving because where I am now is just shit.

Honestly at this point I'd normally start to self sabotage just so that something would be happening.

 

Like when a computer breaks down and you just hit random buttons hoping that the screen comes back on. Like even if doing that deletes all the progress you'd made in the last hour at least you end up with a computer that you can do stuff with.

Like if everything right now is a computer, all the buttons are gone, everyone in the I.T. department has told me to f off and anyone else who can help can only be contacted via email, and it might explode/ short circuit at any moment.

That's how I feel right now.

 

I don't feel like I have any options left and no one will help me no matter what I do.

Re: Nothing is changing

@Tiny_leaf  I really feel for you as I ended up in a similar situation about a year ago and was pretty much done with everything and at that point i really had a long think and came to the conclusion that no one was going to help or could help so it was left to me to do it all myself. now that sounds like a terrible answer and it is but for me it was true. I cant say it hasnt been hard, it has i have cried a lot and struggled but i guess i am managing overall but i had to accept that my life would not be perfect or even great but that for me struggling in this way with freedom was better than ending up stuck in the mental health system that was hurting me so badly. i ran from one issue and into another but i guess that is just me and i cant say what you should do but I am truly sorry that you are feeling so stuck and that it is so hard for you. but sometimes you can surprise yourself with what strength you can find within you to keep going and to push forward. maybe you do have options but maybe they are inside you and not from outside. sometimes things appear when we think we have nothing. sorry again i dont have good advice but the only way you can lose is if you are gone and simply by being here you still have options it just might not be the ones you are looking for. 

Re: Nothing is changing

Good Morning @Tiny_leaf 

 

It's not nice to hear that you're struggling like this. It's clear that the frustration of your situation is really starting to wear your patience thin. Heart

 

You have a knack with words and your analogy provides a snapshot into how hard things must be for your right now. How are you feeling today?

 

We're here for you Heart 

Re: Nothing is changing

Thank you @Eden1717 and @Bre-RO 

Sorry that it took a while to respond..

I'm still not feeling great 😞

I'm so tired of all this stuff, and I'm struggling to make myself eat enough which is really not helping my energy levels.

Re: Nothing is changing

Hey @Tiny_leaf Smiley Happy

 

I'm sorry to hear that things don't feel as though they are progressing. Smiley Sad That can be pretty disheartening. I agree with @Bre-RO . You have described your situation very well, which helps me try and imagine how you feel. I think it's great that you have the self awareness to realise that sometimes we can self-sabotage. 

 

Did you manage to sleep well or eat something?

Re: Nothing is changing

@Tiny_leaf  that is hard. is there anything relaxing you enjoy that you could do? do you have any hobbies? but aside from that is there anything specific that is bothering you? it can be hard to feel like you have energy when you have been having a hard time for a long time. 

Re: Nothing is changing

Everything's bothering me Smiley Sad

I'm gonna start new meds tomorrow.

Kinda wish I could sleep through it all. I'm so tired.

I don't know what to do...

Re: Nothing is changing

On a different note when I try to write a formal-ish letter unsupervised this happens:

 

"I would love to consider considering working with you, if you would consider taking me on as a patient.

I've been called:
"Fairly unstable let's try you on some new medications"
"Always depressed"
"A constant ball of optimism"
"Probably a robot/ alien"
"A complete mess"
With reviews like that, why wouldn't you want to work with me?"

 

 

Ugh I have to edit this whole thing to make it sound sane in an effort to find someone who knows what to do with my lack of well.. sanity.

 

Is there anyone here who knows the correct procedure for making contact with a psychologist via email? (preferably without sounding like I'm advertising a bad musical)

Re: Nothing is changing

Hey @Tiny_leaf Smiley Happy

 

Did you manage to get some sleep? How are you feeling about starting new meds?

 

Happy to discuss writing this email. Smiley Happy Typically you wouldn't need to say very much before any appointments take place. You're not really expected to disclose much because you haven't given them informed consent yet and they haven't discussed confidentiality yet. Initial contact is usually just to set up an appointment where you will discuss what is going on and what your goals are. Or have you been asked to give more information? Or given the impression that it is required? Smiley Happy

Re: Nothing is changing

@Tiny_leaf  I am sorry everything is bothering you. as for the email. i wouldn't say any of that. when i am looking for new people i just get my gp to send a referral and then only mention things when i meet them in person to which i usually just say something along the lines of "i have long term complex mental health issues" so that they have an idea that it is difficult and wont be a quick fix but dont automatically shut that door. that being said though it is even worse i find when you get to know someone and they say after the 5th session they cant help you and you have just wasted $1000 seeing someone who maybe it would have been better to only see once. so sometimes it is best to be honest from the start. also maybe try saying some things about what you are looking for in therapy or what is helpful even if that is just having someone to talk to.