PTSD sucks!- nightmares *trigger warning, contains references to abuse
I was diagnosed with severe PTSD 2 yrs ago roughly and re tested recently and it still severe. I have PTSD from past sexual abuse/ rape from bio dad, physical abuse by bio dad, rape and indecent assault by stepdad and emotional abuse also was traumatised by the court process in trying to charge a abuser and him being let off. I struggle with the PTSD so badly, i get nightmares really often. I had a nightmare this morning around 6am, dreamt about yelling at my stepdad about the things he did to me. I get nightmares alot about the abuse itself, also memories play in my mind almost constantly. I am afraid to sleep at night scared I will have another nightmare, really reluctant to sleep tonight because of this morning's nightmare. Does anyone know if PTSD actually ever goes away? like forever..or am I going to be stuck like this forever? I don't want "you will learn to cope with it" I just want it to stop! I feel so unrested after a nightmare and it ruins my day because it plays in my mind over and over. The nightmares are so realistic which only makes them all the more worse. I see a psychologist and have a counsellor also use kids help line, have been talking to same person at kids helpline for around 4yrs. I can't talk to family as they don't believe the abuse even occurred, and I have no friends at all. I HATE PTSD!!!!! It is bad enough I have had these experiences why must I have to constantly relive them??? what did I do to deserve to be this way?? I feel so alone in this daily struggle, like nobody understands my suffering 😞
**All abuse is in the past, does not occur now, am safe***
Comments
Hello. I also suffer from PTSD and also the same method. My Grandfather when i was 7 sexually abused me. My Nan Physically and mentally. I know and understand how you feel. But i will tell you, you are not alone. I suffer from Flashback and intrusive nightmares just like you. Even though you are at your lowest now. I will tell you if you try to seek help, better not your family it won't go away but you will heal and learn to cope. PTSD is not something you just turn off. Also it is one of the most joked about mental illnesses. Its not funny at all for the ones who live with it. Stay strong and things will get better you will find people who understand and want to help you... it just takes time
Hi @vampireprincess , my heart goes out to you. It is incredibly distressing and unfair that you have been subjected to these experiences and I'm really sorry that all this is happening to you
You have been so brave and done such an amazing job at seeking support, and I am sure this will really continue to help to benefit your livelihood! What methods do you currently use to help cope?
I do not know much about PTSD, but numerous resources say that it can be helped. Although the memory cannot be erased, a large focus of recovery can be on the reactions you experience and managing the emotions that come with it.
The whole ReachOut community wants to support you, so keep writing in and letting us know how it is progressing
Another grounding technique that helped is safety place visualization. I have this park I go to evening stressed. I wouldimagine myself there and go through the 5 senses of everything I could think of about that place.
Mindfulness can also help.
Hey @vampireprincess
I'm sorry to hear about your PTSD and the things you have had to experience growing up. I can't even imagine what it has been like for you but WOW how strong you are to be managing your own recovery and to be here seeking some advice for self help. It takes a lot of courage to be able to speak about things that have happened to us and to decide we are going to try out best to move past it.
I'm really sorry that I can't be much help. I don't know a lot about PTSD - but I do think that you shouldn't give up on trying. I imagine it would be like a lot of other mental health issues where it just takes a few deep breaths, time, and small steps each day in the right direction. You don't have to learn to get used to PTSD! Why don't you try the things that @redhead has suggested? They all sounds like good ideas to me. And @NigioC posted some info from ReachOut which might also be useful.
I wonder if this might also be helpful? http://au.reachout.com/going-through-trauma
Or even this from beyond blue... https://www.bspg.com.au/dam/bsg/product?client=BEYONDBLUE&prodid=BL/0504&type=file
Let me know what you think.
Hey @vampireprincess
I'm so sorry to hear how much you've sufferred and the terrible things that have happened to you. You never deserved that.
You have every right to want your ptsd to go away. It is perfectly normal to want the past to stay in the past and to be able to get on with your life and not be affected by the past.
But as you know, healing takes time.
Here is all the stuff Reach Out has on PTSD. Have a look and see what you think.
Hoope this helps.
@vampireprincess 😞 Sorry, I'm not sure really sure what to say. They keep trying to tell me I have ptsd I don't really what to do.
