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Someone please help me i don't know what to do anymore..

ive been alone..

always alone...people in my family know about my problems my issues how i dont hold normal moral standards even in my own family i feel alone they think this issue will go away but it wont..you see i have this problem i have a personality thats constantly changing one minute im super happy and its fun time it ice cream untill you throw up than i crash so hard and hate myself even more..

 

I describe myself as arrogant yes im possibly one of those jerks that thinks himself above everyone else...but at the same time with all these emotions rolling around and slowly tearing my sanity apart i feel so very empty like somethings missing..

 

i admit my childhood was never a happy one in fact it was cold and distant and isolating..and i was left alone alot..i look back on the photos when i was younger and i cant remember thinking when i was ever genuinly happy the photos from back than look like another kid to me it doesnt feel like me kind of like my grasp on reality is slowly slipping away..

 

even the slightest fault eg a bad day can lead to suicidal thoughts and self hate...ive always told myself im not good enough not fast enough not strong enough its like i have this complex relationship of loving myself and hating myself at the same time these two opposite emotions are tearing me apart and it isnt even bi-polar heck i wish it was bi-polar it would be easier to deal with..

 

and im left with these two constantly conflicting emotions always at end ...im on my own always dealing with it on my own....ive nevr really fit in with anyone either im the odd one the wierd one thats avoided socialy akward i dont mix well with others..and im shit scared of being rejected...thats all ive had my whole life..rejection from my own father who couldnt be bothered with me...

 

rejection from my mother who doesnt help me..

 

abuse from my older brother....

 

whats wrong with me? why does everybody hate me i just want to be left alone at the same time all i want is for somone to accept me...wont someone please accept me?

 

so please help me...i dunno what to do anymore

 

yours sincerly a beautifull mess

Hollow
HollowPosted 18-02-2014 09:34 PM

Comments

 
Alyas12000
Alyas12000Posted 27-04-2021 09:13 AM

@Hollow btw you are a good person and i hope that you have a great life i accept you as a good person and your friend i can help you through this mess and i want to thank you actually i want to be your friend i know i cannot be a very close friend i want to give you a chance to redeem yourself i know life can be stressful but take $1000 get your stuff packed and buy a house get married and life will be happier again and i have been thinking you know im going through stress too so you are not alone.

sincerly: your friend\buddy Alyas12000! 🙂

 
Alyas12000
Alyas12000Posted 27-04-2021 09:03 AM

hey it is ok i understand times can be hard and so can life try therapy and try to move to another place like a person try to move on do not commet suicide please and have a good day 🙂 (i can be your friend)

 
Hanii
HaniiPosted 09-09-2020 06:19 PM

I just wanted to say that reading this was like I wrote it myself. I feel for ya and know exactly what that all feels like 

 
Lisa_Williams
Lisa_WilliamsPosted 14-07-2020 05:49 AM

Please don't stress..... Sometimes even i feel the same way...... And sometimes i feel like my dad rejects me sometimes i don't know if he does.... Sometimes i also feel hated but i don't let that get in the way of me enjoying my life and living every moment..... So i need you to pick yourself up and get yourself back on your feet...... Don't worry about what people think and how they feel about you just don't. Be yourself! Okay?!

 
 
Bre-RO
Bre-ROPosted 14-07-2020 03:51 PM

Really nice of you to send those words of support @Lisa_Williams Sorry to hear that you feel like your dad rejects you - that would be a tough feeling to sit with. Is it something you think you could ever talk to your Dad about? 

 
 
 
Lisa_Williams
Lisa_WilliamsPosted 15-07-2020 12:51 AM
No.... In fact it's doesn't bother me at all! As long as I have my mother's love I am very much happy
 
Uralright
UralrightPosted 06-04-2019 11:49 PM

Well i feel the same way.

Maybe we can help eachother.

 
 
TOM-RO
TOM-ROPosted 07-04-2019 10:20 AM

Hey @Uralright 

 

Thanks for joining ReachOut. I had to edit your post to remove some content as it was not in line with our guidelines which can be read here. 

 

I will also send you an email soon so please keep an eye out for that Cat Happy

 

 

 
AQueenOfManyFandoms
AQueenOfManyFandomsPosted 28-09-2018 03:36 AM
Your not alone buddy, i'm going through the same thing
Don't give up
 
 
gina-RO
gina-ROPosted 28-09-2018 03:07 PM

hey there @AQueenOfManyFandoms , I can see you're new the forums so welcome!! 

Sorry to hear you're going through a rough time at the moment 😞 

If you want to talk more about it, you can make you own post over here . We're here to listen Heart

 
KrackyChan
KrackyChanPosted 08-06-2018 09:54 PM

bro i know what u've been through i have been there as well and still is. be happy your arent the only one

 
 
lokifish
lokifishPosted 08-06-2018 10:41 PM

Heya @KrackyChan,

 

Sucks to hear that you're still going through some rough times 😞 if you'd like to make a thread to chat about things some more we're happy to help Heart

 
Falyse
FalysePosted 08-03-2018 08:26 AM

Hey @hallow I just want to tell you I'm here I know exactly what your going through. I go though all the things you listed in your statement, and to be honest no one will ever understand, what we go through, what goes on in our heads no one will know or understand so I've just learned to deal with it I don't know how but I just have email me so we can talk further.

 
 
Usernam
UsernamPosted 28-11-2018 01:09 AM

@Falyse @Hollow @I somehow came through hallow's post and noticed the abnormal amount of similarities between me and them

I really wanted to talk to them but seeing how they posted over almost 5 years ago and only remained online for 1 hour in total , that doesn't seem to be possible , although you seem to be experience the same situation , hopefully you aren't anymore , still I have never seen something that described my problem word by word 

I don't really know what I want to do , I suppose I just want to talk to someone with a similar mindset

I couldn't find any other way to contact you or them , so I suppose I will leave this message here 

If you or someone else with the same exact experience wants to talk 

 

 
 
 
gina-RO
gina-ROPosted 28-11-2018 11:03 AM

HI @Usernam - welcome to the RO youth forum, we're really glad you've shared here. 

Even though this is an old thread - other members can see your reply, so thank you for reaching out. As you can see in the comments before yours - many other people have been through something similar - you're not alone. 

It must be really painful for you to be experiencing all of this - if you want to talk more, it might be a good idea to make you own post over here .

 

We are here to listen Heart However we do ask that members don't share their personal email addresses, as this is a strictly anonymous forum. 

Hope to hear more from you 

 
Vendetta Thomas
Vendetta ThomasPosted 15-04-2017 02:46 AM
Thank you do much
 
Jack RIP
Jack RIPPosted 11-04-2017 03:54 PM
It's never to late. I can't really tell you about how to cope with your family, but if it's one thing that I can tell you; You are not alone. I know that you feel alone, trust me, you can be in a group of 100 people, and you'll still feel alone, you just have to find that one person who you can truly be yourself with and can talk about anything and everything. It took me some time, but I found someone who I can truly talk about everything under the sun and sky with. She's there for me and I'm there for her. Find someone that you trust fully and most importantly talk about what's going on. You can also do what I've done and still doing... Seek counseling. They can help you, hopefully as much as they've been helping me. If you don't want to, then that's fine. We're here for you, I'm here for you. You can talk to me, if you choose to. But you are not alone.
 
Vendetta Thomas
Vendetta ThomasPosted 11-04-2017 03:28 AM

I know this is late. Very late. And I don't know if you still feel that way but I can try to help. I have almost the exact same problem in my life right now. My dad left and doesn't want anything to do with me and I don't have support from my mother. My brother also abused me for the longest time. My sisters don't really seem to care. No one does. I have friends but I always feel so lonely. It really hurts and I don't know what to do. All I want is someone to care about me and be there for me and to talk to me.

 

Again. Sorry for replying so late.

-Your Friend, Vendetta  

 
 
JanaG
JanaGPosted 11-04-2017 01:24 PM

@Vendetta Thomas Welcome to RO! Would you like to create a thread where you can discuss what's going on for you?

 
Jack RIP
Jack RIPPosted 31-03-2017 12:08 AM

I know that this is three years to late, but if you or somebody is reading this then just know that truthfully you are not alone. I also know that talking to someone is more help than any internet website. You have to find someone you trust to talk to or maybe a complete stranger who knows what you're going through. I am hoping that you do read this message, but if not then I guess I'm writing to thin air. 

 

I grew up in a home where I was mentally and physically abused. I had no freedom, no friends, no one to turn to, and I tried to cope with my situation as much as possible. But I held my emotions in for too long. When I was the last one alone at the house with my dad for two years, I was so afraid that he was going to hurt me more because he had no other outlet to turn to. At that point in time he didn't really hurt me physically, but physical scars heal, mental scars don't. I don't know your name, or how old you are, or even if you still need help, but if anything even though I am a complete stranger, I'm not trying to be weird, but I am here for you, because I know what you were and maybe still are going through.

 

 
Zxzxzczczzz
ZxzxzczczzzPosted 14-09-2016 05:00 PM
Im new here but the story you tell makes me want to give you hope and the sunshine of a smile. My heart aches for you because you are lonely and i never want you to lose hope. I have never met you but i know you are desperate and i care.
I have a very similar story to you but you are unique and i think the worst thing i can do is talk about myself here but let me share this with you....as a christian i know there is a God and he has the most incredible love for you personally. He sent His son Jesus Christ to pay the penalty for the sin of the whole world and when we believe in Him our sins are forgiven and we have hope. There is no other answer to depression, abuse, neglect but Jesus...and when i say that i mean that no person, therapy, self help book on ther own can really truly deal with our issues. Because these troubles we face are not what God created is for but because we are a fallen race we suffer them.....i know this may not make sense to anyone but let me share this verse with you from the bible...in psalm 16:11 it says ' thou ( God ) wilt show me the path of life. In thy prescence is fullness of joy. At thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.' we can have hope, there is a place called heaven, you are here for a purpose because God created you and has an incredible plan for your life. Get a bible and read it....pray to God....even if you have doubts and are unsure...God will never fail you...reach out to Him in faith and He will hear you and give you the answers, love, acceptance, hope and joy that you need. I am praying for you.
 
Naruto
NarutoPosted 31-07-2016 06:58 AM
I can relate to Hollow to the being alone part feeling distant and isolated in childhood. And to being socially arkward and not mixing well with others i hope you find the help that you need and find some joy in living sincerely from Naruto

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