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Stressed out
Well anyway, today has been a really hard day for me. My counsellor at school is ignoring me, yet again she has broken a promise she made to me. She told me she would email me on Friday, I didn't get an email so I gave her some extra time and thought she might come through by today. Well she hasn't, and I've seen her around at school, she's done this to me so many times before and it takes for me to talk to her for her to realise I'm even there and in need of help.
Me being the person I am, I won't really talk to her first or anything, I'm a really shy person and I think my anxiety has something to do with that so it doesn't help at all.
Anyway, that's boring and you're probably thinking I'm a whinger right now.
Well I've only had a sandwich and some weetbix all day and that's all I'm planning on eating. I've become sooo overweight and I'm getting really insecure about my looks and weight. Again, this isn't for attention, my parents are always telling me I'm thin but I don't see it. I've only got to lose a few more kilos before I'm underweight for my height, and it might sound crazy but then I'll be happy.
Also, today has been really hard because those bullies I posted about earlier on have been giving me a hard time again. I find it really hard to stand up to them, there's 10 of them and 1 of me. I don't know what to do.
I don't have any support until Saturday and even then it's phone counselling, and I know I saw my psychologist not long ago and I probably sound really selfish but I'm not 100% open with my psychologist yet and I can really trust my counsellor from kids helpline although I'm still really scared about ringing.
Again, I'm really sorry this is SUCH a long post, but I really needed to let this out and I don't know what else to do. Im sorry I'm so annoying, I'm sorry I'm so frustrating, I'm sorry I'm so boring and most of all I'm just sorry for being me and being alive.
Pillow
P.S sorry about the last little bit I'm in a really dark place at the moment and finding it extremely hard to cope.
Comments
Hey Pillow,
Of course you're not boring us, we're here to listen and to help 🙂
There was a Getting Real session a few weeks ago that covered the topic of positive thinking.
http://forums.au.reachout.com/t5/The-Getting-Real-sessions/POSITIVE-THINKING/m-p/57727#U57727
Some really good ways on dealing with negative thoughts were discussed. It might help you to read through it and consider some of the suggestions? It might help to be able to change the way you think about certain situations.
I know it helped me 🙂
Hi Pillow, you are not boring us. It's good that you are talking about what's going on for you but what would be helpful would be for you to also post about some of the little things you can do to cope with these feelings. It's a good idea to make sure that with each post you make about the difficult feelings you have inside to say something that you are going to do to help feel even a tiny bit better.
You can't alwasy change the situation you are in but you can change the way you think about it. So, for example if it was me that was having a tough time, I would say:
"I'm feeling really stressed and today was really hard for me because my sister is ignoring me and there is a group of bullies who really scared me. I'm feeling awful. So this afternoon I'm going to listen to my favourite album really loud and jump around in my room, and maybe even scream into my pillow. I'm also going to do some of the posi-psych activities in the forums that helps me challenge my negative thinking, like "turning negatives into positive" or "what are you proud of" and "something I did well today and why"
Then if everything gets too overwhelming, I'll call up my cousin and have a chat with her about everything that;s going on in my head."
Do you get what I mean - let me know if you have any questions....