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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

That sounds so tough @SomeoneNADJS Smiley Sad
The thing is, you can’t be certain of what will actually happen but I understand your concerns. Would you feel comfortable opening up and if you do get the reaction that you’re worried about, ask if you could still talk about what you would usually talk about? Just so you aren’t losing a support. Like if they don’t know how to help or don’t understand, you could either explore it deeper with them or you can ask to move on as if you didn’t say it in the first place Smiley Happy does that sound like an option to you?

Also just so you know, we would never think that way about you no matter what you are going through Heart we are sorry that you have to worry about these things as a result of opening up. You don’t have to worry about that here though Heart
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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

[R@Bananatime04 That could be an option maybe, but I’m still scared of how it would go. I don’t think I’d be able to do it without freaking out in the process (since I doubt I would be able to tell her verbally and I would be too scared to hand her a note).

 

Thanks Smiley Happy

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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

That’s ok @SomeoneNADJS Smiley Happy I know I would be the same! Do you have access to her email?
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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

[R@Bananatime04 I think we have an email address to where she works, but not to her specifically.

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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

Oh that’s alright @SomeoneNADJS Smiley Happy if you do decide to open up to her, we’ll support you and help you plan it if you would like that.
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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

[R] Thank you. We might have to discuss that a bit.

 

Feeling bad again about school and stuff, and since I’ve been chatting with A for about the last hour, she’s worried about me again and wants me to text Lifeline later if I get worse or stay the same. Don’t really know what to do and I’m scared of letting her switch in.

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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

No worries @SomeoneNADJS Smiley Happy

Sorry you’re feeling bad again Smiley Sad what are you worried about if A switches in? It sounds like A is aware of when you need help and they’re right Smiley Happy if you start to feel worse or see no improvements then you are welcome to text lifeline.

What’s worrying you about school?

Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

[R@Bananatime04 I just find it scary sometimes that someone else is taking over and I’m just not there for a while. She is. She’s been a major help for us to seek support since I learnt I wasn’t cis. Lifeline won’t answer texts until 6pm apparently (it’s 4:12pm in our state as I’m writing this), but I might try going on a bit later if I’m still going badly.

 

I’m scared of being treated differently because of our “outside gender” and dealing with a heavier workload, if I choose  to stay active for that initial period. Last year, I was basically working from about half an hour after getting home and working until 10pm to get that night’s stuff finished, and I would work all day on the weekends and I’d still be behind on some assignments. Plus we’re still trying to figure out how to deal with school as a system, since I’ve basically been carrying everyone to this point at school (minus the occasional chat or internal support).

 

I’m also worried because I don’t want to be treated weirdly for being trans, but I also don’t want to be treated the same because I feel like I’m going to be pressured to continue faking who I am.

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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

[A] Last time I switched in I also got a bit suicidal, so I’m also a bit scared of switching in now. I’ve also gotten really dysphoric from switching in the past, and I’m scared of that happening to me. Obviously I don’t want R to have to deal with it all either, but it’s hard to know what to do a lot of the time.

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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

It is great that you system mate has been supportive of you R @SomeoneNADJS. It sounds like you have a few adjustments to settle into at school. I am wondering a bit more about your school community - do you know of any other trans people at your school? I can hear that switching in can be scary for you.. Did you end up texting Lifeline? Heart

I am sorry to hear that switching in has some unwanted effects for you A. What do you usually do if you are feeling suicidal or dysphoric? Do you have a different kind of plan to R? It is great that you are really considerate of R and the load that all of this may have on them. Could you discuss what to do in particular situations as a system? Sorry for all the questions.