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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

[R@ayrc_1904 I hope so. I wrote in my last thread about regretting not telling a friend of mine who's also trans, so I'm probably going to talk to her and a few other friends these holidays.

 

Well, that happens with negative emotions, but I just do that most of the time now. Hopefully dysphoria management will get better, since the dysphoria itself has gotten progressively worse throughout this year.

 

I think it's likely one or more of us will be on here once we're in Melbourne, so we'll let you know how everything goes Smiley Happy

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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

@SomeoneNADJS, widening your support network sounds like a great idea especially over the holidays. It is great that you are thinking of keeping us all updated! We would love to hear how you are all going Smiley Happy It sounds like you have a whole lot of stuff to look forward to.

Has anything been helping with dysphoria management so far?
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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

[R] Hi @Taylor-RO. Yeah, we do. Also just organised to see a trans friend of mine this morning (as in, that's when it was organised, not when I/we will be seeing them).

 

Dysphoria has been lower than it used to be, but it's still a pain. Other than trying to distract myself, ignoring our body, or having someone else switch in (as they're usually too focused on staying switched in and making sure I don't take over), I'm not sure what else I can do at the moment.

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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

[R] Feeling crap again. Partially over gender dysphoria, but partially over switching with A. She ended up switched in for quite a while today by accident. What she meant to do was switch in for the “Type the Username Above You with Your Elbow” game and let me switch back in, but she ended up having difficulty letting me take back control and eventually stayed switched in for about another hour or two I’m guessing (which included her working on one of my games for a bit, as well as going on a shopping trip with our mum).

 

Switching is still very confusing to wrap my head around (although I guess that specific phrase might not be 100% accurate because I’m in a system). I don’t know how to explain how, but part of it just seems messy to comprehend.

 

[A] Just wanted to add to what R said. I kind of enjoyed it, but in the end I couldn’t ignore the dysphoria and she switched back in without either of us meaning to. I’m guessing R isn’t used to being switched out for long periods of time, so it probably feels weirder for her than it does for me. I still feel like she’s kind of still awake, or that it’s her pretending to be me, but it isn’t, which is confusing. To sum up, brains are really weird.

 

[R] I wasn’t tired before we started writing this, but now I am and I think A’s inactive again already, so I’m going to go to sleep.

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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

Hi @SomeoneNADJS, thank you for sharing that with everyone here. I am sorry to hear that you are feeling crap again. How are you feeling after having some rest? Other than being tired and confused, are there any other emotions that arose for you due to switching? Is there a term that you feel is more accurate than 'switching', so that we can refer to it appropriately and respectfully? Smiley Happy

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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

[R@Taylor-RO Things didn't go too well last night and I was up until after 2am. Just dysphoria. I slept until around 12pm, so I've only been up for a few hours.

 

The tiredness was from being up late, and the confusion was from switching. I was kind of relieved when I switched back in, but I'm finding it a bit annoying that someone can wake up (not necessarily to switch in), and they can switch in and stay there for minutes to hours. I can still remember everything that happened, but just the experience of switching itself is weird.

 

We're fine with "switching", although I read something a while ago about a system that didn't like it because it implied it was "one person switching between personalities", but the context we've always seen it in was just switching who is in control of our body (although the way we define it also has to do with the previous controller assuming a similar position to those who aren't switched in).

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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

@SomeoneNADJS that sucks...

 

Do you have any kind of plan for managing the dysphoria? 

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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

[R@Tiny_leaf Not at the moment.

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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

@SomeoneNADJS,

 

Hi R,

 

It has been a while since we have spoken, and I have just been reading over some of yours and A's most recent posts. Thanks for describing what the term switching means for you, we are happy to take your lead Smiley Happy  

 

It sounds like you have been stepping back a bit and letting A step up and switch in. I know that this is something we have spoken about a while back, but I'm also hearing switching is really exhausting for you. Is it something that you all find exhausting?

 

I am so sorry to hear that you have been struggling to sleep with the dysphoria Heart @Tiny_leaf spoke about plans for managing the dysphoria. Is this something you would all be interested in brainstorming with our community? 

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Re: TW Feeling Miserable and Stuff

[R@Jess1-RO It has been a while. A and I agreed we wanted her to be able to take a role closer to mine in terms of body control, but I don't think either of us were expecting this to happen so quickly.

 

[D] Hi, I'm up now. R wrote the above paragraph a few days ago but she didn't finish writing her post. Switching can be a bit tiring in my experience, but I think R was talking about it being confusing because she didn't know how she and A were switching when neither of them intended it to happen.

 

I'm waiting for a KHL counsellor as I'm writing this. We are interested in brainstorming this, but I don't have any ideas at the moment. Speaking of struggling with sleep, since R was having trouble anyway, she's been up in the early hours of the morning a few nights in a row to finish a Christmas game she was making (but we can't publish it yet because we're still waiting for our engine subscription to be renewed). She collapsed in her bed a few hours ago, and now I've switched in for our Kids Helpline counsellor.

 

Christmas went well. A few family members who know R is trans came over and they had a great time. I'm not sure if she said anything, but we're also trialling a new name at the moment. I have been thinking lately that maybe I could be genderfluid. It's just an idea, I'm still figuring a lot of things out for myself.