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Re: TW Feeling shit about myself

You're welcome @Jess1-RO Smiley Happy

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Re: TW Feeling shit about myself

Note that I'm safe.

 

I'm feeling very suicidal right now.

My parents are home, so I can't do anything to myself anyway.

Gonna have to get to an emergency department some time tonight though.

Not really sure why, probably I'll just get a stream of condescending ******* who'll tell me I'm not actually suicidal and discharge me. Don't exactly have any other options though.

Uuurrgghhh I hate this.

 

Again, I'm safe atm. Just incredibly unhappy with everything. 

Re: TW Feeling shit about myself

Good Morning @Tiny_leaf 

 

I'm so sorry to read that last night was hard for you. I can't imagine the frustration you're feeling with the mental health system right now. I'm glad that you are safe and thank you for making that clear to us all in your post. However I am really concerned about your emotional well being right now. How are you feeling today? Heart 

 

Re: TW Feeling shit about myself

Hey @Tiny_leaf,

Thanks for confirming you're safe Smiley Happy Did you end up making it to emergency last night?

Is there anything you can do today for self-care?

Re: TW Feeling shit about myself

Hi @Bre-RO @N1ghtW1ng 

 

I got to the ED. I also got maybe an hour of sleep. Good news is that the sleep deprivation seems to be covering up my actual feelings a bit. Yaaayyy!!

 

The people I saw were actually really nice. They.. somehow got the idea that I'm a trans girl but they did their best and got the trans bit right!

They gave me a list of resources, one of which might be useful if I'm lucky. Plus they listened.

 

I'm back at home with my kittens right now, they're getting lots of cuddles.

 

As for my emotional well-being I seem to have fallen into a chaotic and pseudo-cheerful state but could just be sleep deprivation, idk

I've done everything I can so hopefully my parents'll remember the piece of paper and chase up supports for me because I have 0 energy left for that!

 

Anyway Imma have a nap before I pass out. 

Re: TW Feeling shit about myself

@Tiny_leaf  Oh I am so glad to hear that you were looked after by some nice staff members. It really makes a difference when someone actually listens to you and gives resources.  

 

I hope that you had lots of kitten cuddles and restful sleepy times today Heart Continue taking care of yourself and you know we are always here to listen to you when things are tough.

Re: TW Feeling shit about myself

Thank you @Bre-RO 

Re: TW Feeling shit about myself

On another note now that I know what's going on with my joints I know why my hands hurt - whenever I use them my fingertips bend back a lot more than they should.

Meaning that something like a splint should work well for me there. 

Re: TW Feeling shit about myself

Hi @Tiny_leaf, thanks for sharing all of this with us. I am so glad to hear that the ED staff were nice, respectful and listened to you. That is so valuable Heart Kitten cuddles are so beautiful. I really love cats!
I can imagine how your fingers bending back would make your hands hurt.. it sounds very painful! Ouch. Hopefully a splint works well for you. What will you have to do to get that organised?

Re: TW Feeling shit about myself

@Taylor-RO it doesn't feel painful at the time for some reason, but probably causes some wear to the joint.

I'm not 100% sure, but apparently fingers aren't meant to bend like this:

WIN_20191011_22_08_36_Pro.jpg

 

So I've actually already diy-ed one out of cardboard as an experiment:

WIN_20191011_22_08_46_Pro.jpg

 

I can still move all my joints forwards, but can't get my fingertips to bend backwards. It seems to be helping, so I might look at buying some professional ones online when I can.