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Re: TW: Moving Schools, Hating myself so much, Parents not caring, leaving my real friends + support

Hey @Taylor-RO
Yeah, that’s more than accurate.
It does get a bit annoying, and disheartening when they do that, but I’ll live.

Yep, you are definitely right. I hate leaving or getting taken away from my special relationships. I definitely fought so hard for them, and to maintain them, but I guess I have no power, as usual.

Thank you.

I don’t actually know if there is anyone. I guess it’s more learning supports that I’ll get, but I don’t want them. If that makes sense? I’ll feel less and less like I belong, so hopefully I can get what I need.

I’m glad that everyone of you guys are here to listen. I just can’t thank you all enough for it.

Re: TW: Moving Schools, Hating myself so much, Parents not caring, leaving my real friends + support

Here’s a new thingamajig line.

// You are worth something, not Nothing. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise //

Re: TW: Moving Schools, Hating myself so much, Parents not caring, leaving my real friends + support

Hey @xXLexi_Lou122Xx, yeah that perfectly makes sense on what you've sad regarding how more learning supports are probably not the best supports for you right now.

How are you going today? Btw, I love your new thingamajig line! Very inspirational, indeed Smiley Happy. Looking forward to seeing more of that line in your future posts Smiley Happy
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Hope is just around the corner; you think it's not there when you first look straight ahead, but it actually is when you turn around

Re: TW: Moving Schools, Hating myself so much, Parents not caring, leaving my real friends + support

Thank you @Esperanza67
Yeah, they really aren’t right now. But I’ll live.

The up side, is that I’m getting a bunch of new technology! An new iPad Pro with an Apple Pencil, and a keyboard to connect to it. I’m happy about that. Plus I’m getting a phone for Christmas! Well, my own phone really. I’m currently using a shared phone, but that will probably go down to my youngest siblings when they need it.

I’m feeling a little bit numb right now, but I’m okay. I got my math grade back, and I passed. Just barely though...
A C- isn’t too bad, right? As long as I passed. :/

Now I just have to wait for science. I think we’re doing a dissection in science...
My noxious stimulant is dissections... I may or may not end up on the floor like I did on sports day...
Oh well. I’ll figure out how to avoid it.

Re: TW: Moving Schools, Hating myself so much, Parents not caring, leaving my real friends + support

Hey @xXLexi_Lou122Xx just catching up on this thread. 

 

It's exciting to hear of all the new technology you'll have soon! It will be nice to have your own phone as well. Do you know which phone you're getting? 

 

Glad that you're okay, even though you're feeling a bit numb. Is there anything that helps you get out of that, if you don't want to feel numb anymore? 

 

Also, I think a C is perfectly fine. Getting through it is the most important thing. Hope you get through your science dissection!! Heart 

Re: TW: Moving Schools, Hating myself so much, Parents not caring, leaving my real friends + support

Thank you @Bre-RO
I haven’t spoken to you in a while!

I know! I’m getting a galaxy A70 (Samsung) which is bigger than the galaxy J1 mini.

No, I don’t really have anything that helps. I just stay numb for however long it stays for.

I agree, except the fact that I’m the only one in my family that sucks at academics. And I only just scraped it... I’ll live though. As long as I pass, I should be able to get the future career I want. Not sure what that is yet... :/

Re: TW: Moving Schools, Hating myself so much, Parents not caring, leaving my real friends + support

Hey @xXLexi_Lou122Xx! Honestly, in my opinion, a C- is just as good as an A+ Smiley Happy. So well done! Also, it is perfectly okay to not know what career you would like to pursue in the future - I didn't really know what I would do when I finished high school, and I still don't know what I want to do with degree once I've finished uni! Growing up can be so hard sometimes Smiley Tongue

Anyway, that's so exciting that you're getting a new iPad AND a new phone for Christmas! I want to get a new iPad for Christmas, as my current one is over 6 years old and dying. Do you have any plans on how you're going to use your new technology once you've received them?

How are you going at the moment? You've also mentioned that you felt numb recently and that there isn't really anything that eases it. I was wondering how long these feelings of numbness typically last for? Are they consistent? Or unpredictable and all over the place?

Sending hugs as always <3
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Hope is just around the corner; you think it's not there when you first look straight ahead, but it actually is when you turn around
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Re: TW: Moving Schools, Hating myself so much, Parents not caring, leaving my real friends + support

Hey @xXLexi_Lou122Xx Smiley Happy
Hope you’re ok Heart

Re: TW: Moving Schools, Hating myself so much, Parents not caring, leaving my real friends + support

Thank you guys!

@Esperanza67
Yeah, everyone’s like that. I reckon I’m going to aim for being a teacher at my current school, and be better than any other teacher there. But only 8n a certain area of subject. Like art or dance/drama. Possibly English too.

I know right! I can’t wait, and I will be able to do so many more drawings when I get the apps I want to draw! Yeah, I’m going to draw With Ibis paint, and have a few games, like Gacha Life and Gacha life 2 when it comes out.

I would say it depends on how my situation is. Sometimes I’ll stay numb for a month, but other times it just comes and goes throughout the week.

So, a bit over the place, I’d say.

Re: TW: Moving Schools, Hating myself so much, Parents not caring, leaving my real friends + support

Thank you @Bananatime04 ❤️

I’m doing okay, but things haven’t been going so great at school today.

I don’t want to burden you with this, so please don’t be pressured to answer if it starts to trigger you.


So today at school, periods 1 and 2 were good. Then I ate my lunch and went off to Maths (period 3).
We were playing the “Pirate Game”, which is hard to explain, but is based on coordinates.
Because there weren’t many people playing, I only knew that 2 black people, and 1 other white person were playing. I’m not being racist, I’m describing. So in this game, we have some “stealing” and “killing” if we get the corresponding box. I had to get rid of those boxes, by using them, and because I knew that those 3 people were playing, I targeted them. So then they all ganged up on me, and wiped me out during the game. I didn’t mind that so much, but it was what they were saying to me that made it mean and unfair.

They started to say that I was racist, and that it wasn’t fair, making me upset. This particularly upset me enough to make me start putting myself down. I was doing this via my little notebook. I wrote down everything that I’ve been called, and what people have written on the desks and toilet walls.

Those “cool kids” started to come over, and look at what I was writing. I didn’t even realise they were there until they yelled, “WHO SHOULD F**KING DIE?!”. I had written exactly what was on the desk I was at. They didn’t know that, but they yelled continuously anyway. They all assumed it was about them, and aimed there anger all at me. I swear I could’ve passed out from it if I wasn’t so upset already. That’s how much pressure I was under, and way too much stress to cope with.

The teacher in this situation, tried her best to stop everyone. I was sobbing like crazy, and they were still yelling. The teacher was on my side, and yelled back at them to stop looking over other people’s private stuff, and mind their manners.



I was so tempted to just walk out, and yell at them “if you must know, I was telling myself that, because you all can’t be nice! You all talk shit about me, so don’t go assuming I meant for someone else to fricking die!”.

That’s how sad and upset I was.

And amongst all that, I was suffering heat stroke and dehydration. I could have fainted right then and there. Good thing I went straight to the air con at break.

So yeah, that’s how the rest of my day went. A teacher aide in my last period (4), went with me to that desk and took a photo to report it. She’s amazing like that. Shame I’m leaving her for a different school. Smiley Sad