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TW desperately need help, running out of options

I don't even know where to begin

 

New symptoms developing, nowhere to go, no one who can help will help.

No apparent chance of any type of recovery.

 

Losing whatever little hope had even managed to survive this far.

No idea if my meds are causing mood swings or if they're the only thing holding me together through a new and emerging mental illness.

 

Every promise all these professionals have made has been broken. Every. Single. One. They're all liars.

I'm pretty sure they just don't value my life that much. It'd certainly explain a lot.

Why the fuck would they waste their time on someone with such a tiny chance of getting better anyway?

 

Hate like 90% of my so-called "treatment team". Not that they've actually bothered treating me.

Seriously considering going to an ED and refusing to leave until they have secured me some sort of ongoing plan.

 

I'm a disabled 17 year old with multiple mental illnesses and exactly 0 training. How the fuck am I meant to create my own treatment plan with no help and no available treatment providers?

Kinda starting to feel like I'm not.

 

I'm doing everything I can but it's not enough

 

My entire life right now just seems to revolve around not dying. Not even for my own sake, just because I promised someone I wouldn't.

So yeah, I'm safe right now. Just hating every second of it.

Re: TW desperately need help, running out of options

Hi @Tiny_leaf I’m sorry to hear that your struggling at the moment, it must be stressful when you feel health professionals aren’t doing their job ☹️

Is there anything you can do right now that would make you feel a little better? Maybe colouring or listening to music might help?

Sending you lots of love and hugs ❤️

Re: TW desperately need help, running out of options

@Tiny_leaf  I'm so sorry you're having some new symptoms and about the professionals. Smiley Sad

I totally understand how you feel let down by the professionals. Smiley Sad
I have similar problems with my sister's team. They keep saying, 'The goal for this admission is to achieve X' or 'We'll definitely do Y' but it never ends up happening. I would rather they just not set any goals or make any promises and just see wait and see what the treatment does instead of letting us be disappointed. Do you think a similar approach would help you?

Do you have any members of your team that you regularly keep in contact with? It could be helpful if you are able to get their email address, so that you can contact them about your new symptoms.

You likely have the right to request a different professional. That could also be a good idea if you feel as though you don't trust or like the ones you have.

Re: TW desperately need help, running out of options

Thank you @not-an-otter and @WheresMySquishy 

 

Self care isn't doing much. Honestly I'm doing it almost constantly right now just so I don't completely break...

 

I do technically have the right to request a second opinion and a different professional.

The whole system is trying very hard to make that practically impossible.

For example, I have the choice of one hospital. When they discharged me I was essentially told to get out and stay out. The second wouldn't even consider admitting me because I'm outside of their area.

 

My "treatment team" discharged me an hour after I came into their care. I never even got an appointment with them, yet alone an email address.

 

The worst part is that your suggestions are all really good, and should work.

But the whole system is just... broken. They don't care who lives or dies or how much pain someone is in. 

Re: TW desperately need help, running out of options

@Tiny_leaf
That’s an interesting point about the “system” being at fault, would that make it easier when talking to health professionals, just trying to at least pretend that the system is broken, rather than the individuals within it?
Perhaps it would make it easier if you imagine that the people you tried to get help from do care about your health but the overall system that is healthcare just doesn’t work how it should.
I don’t know if that made any sense or is helpful at all, but for me personally whenever I’m frustrated I try to imagine that it isn’t the persons fault, and I can direct the frustration towards something else.

Re: TW desperately need help, running out of options

@not-an-otter I mean.. sometimes a lot of the fault does rest on the actual people... there are some really terrible medical professionals. (please excuse my bitterness)

But that's definitely something I'll keep in mind, and it'll be helpful with the actual dealing with people part.l

Re: TW desperately need help, running out of options

Aw @Tiny_leaf - I'm really sorry to hear about how the health system makes you feel. You are not alone in your frustration. There are lots of aspects of the health system that are outdated paired with people who don't know how to change it or don't care to. There are also good people wedged in the mix of it who wish they were permitted to do more as @not-an-otter pointed out. I'm sorry that this is something you have to deal with Heart 

 

I hope you don't mind me asking, but I was just wondering if you've ever considered writing something about your experience with the health system? I ask because you always formulate and present your views in such an articulate way. In times that I've felt angry at systematic failures I try to put it into words and get it published. I find this therapeutic but I can see how not everyone would enjoy that process. Is there anything you do at the moment to express all the emotions that come with what you're going through? 

 

 

Re: TW desperately need help, running out of options

@Bre-RO yeah, writing helps me.

Plus one of my friends keeps turning my healthcare stories into comics which are somehow kinda funny, which helps for some weird reason.

 

I'm trying to do a formal complaint, they don't make it easy though.. Smiley Frustrated

Re: TW desperately need help, running out of options

That's insane that they discharged you after only one hour and refused to keep you admitted @Tiny_leaf. Smiley Sad It really annoys me when doctors don't make any plans for follow up.

Did they give any feedback as to why they wanted you to not be readmitted? Could it be a bed availability/management problem or a health fund issue?

Is there any way to submit feedback through the hospital? Perhaps there is a 'patient's friend' or advocacy service which can help mediate disputes and issues. There may also be anonymous boxes where you can leave feedback.

If you don't have the contact details of the team, would it be possible to contact the ward and ask to be passed on to the team members involved?

Re: TW desperately need help, running out of options

@WheresMySquishy no...

They just told me to leave and that if my life was in danger I could just go to the emergency department.

Like if they'd been like "we've got limited beds and someone's life is in danger if we can't get them in; here's a treatment plan." I would have no issue. But they didn't do that

 

Trying to make a complaint through the government. Can't find any advocacy groups that will take on someone who's not in hospital, and the hospital I was at ignored me when I asked for a mental health advocate before being discharged so there goes that opportunity...