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Re: TW it's all too much

@Tiny_leaf not sure there's much I can say except for keep going and stay as strong as you can. You constantly astound me with how compassionate and helpful you are to other users, while you're going through so much yourself. 

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“Your now is not your forever."
― John Green, Turtles All the Way Down
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Re: TW it's all too much

Omg I can’t make my post because I can’t post more than 10,000 characters.. wtf
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Re: TW it's all too much

(Round two of typing this post and losing it. Sorry my first copy was way better but I forgot what I said so I don’t have as much advice as my first one had but it’s gone)
Hey @Tiny_leaf I am so sorry I have only just come across your new thread. My heart really goes out to you right now. I can hear how much you are struggling and no one deserves to feel like that. I wish I could just come and give you a massive hug and tell you everything is going to be okay. Things sound so incredibly tough for you right atm, always remember reach out is here for you whenever you need Heart

as for bras I find These bras from cotton on reallyyy comfy. I’m sorry that you have to feel as if you can’t breathe when you wear bras but these are incredible! They don’t have the back clip, they have removable cups, the cups padding isn’t so stiffly shaped so you don’t have to worry about how they look or feel. You just go with your size for what you would get with clothes so you don’t need like a cup size.

For support networks you have kids helpline and eheadspace for on going support. If you don’t like the counsellors you have spoken to at these places in the past I really encourage you to ask for a different counsellor. If you have any issues relating to depression or anxiety or just need some simple advice working around a problem they are great at offering you support, ideas, advice, referrals and are great at talking to best get the solution you are after. Suicide call back service are there for you when you have any problems related to suicide. Lifeline are there for any problems what so ever to offer you someone to listen and they can also really help with crisis situations. As you have told me, there’s a SANE chat that I haven’t had a chance to use but maybe you could give that a go? I really recommend you find a new psychiatrist, psychologist or social worker for face to face support and therapy. Also do you think it would be possible for you to get involved in group therapy sessions? I think this would be really helpful and it’s something I would like to look into doing as well Smiley Happy

I understand how hard hallucinations can be and I’m so sorry they have come back to you. Engaging with your hallucinations in a positive way such as asking them if they would like anything can help them go away. Although I have not found this helpful, but you may. My most affective ‘solution’ to my hallucinations has been to put headphones in and listen to a meditation. I have used smiling minds and headspace in the past but I’m telling you.. breethe is so much better! You need to try it! I have the whole app but you don’t have to pay if you don’t want everything. They have great sessions with selected times for your general meditations, sleeping sessions, stress sessions, stories, soothing music and so much more! The reason I like to do this when I am experiencing a hallucination is because the earphones block out the voices and noises if I put it loud enough and closing my eyes prevents me from seeing them. After a while this will soothe your mind and eventually the hallucinations will go.

depression really sucks... I know. I have recently made two boxes. My first box includes a lot of self care items such as nail products, skin care items, face masks, soothing scents for my air humidifier (getting stress relief oils for an air humidifier is so soothing, I recommend doing this if possible), chocolate, things for a nice bath (bath bombs, bubble bath, bath oils ect) and I’ve got a few more things in there. My second box is a distraction box which includes a ‘wreck this journal’ you can get this Here it’s so good for distraction!, I’ve got an adult colouring book with gel pens (you know the cool pattern colouring?), a journal with motivational quotes and fun activities on every second page with the other pages for writing my thoughts, feelings, tough situations ect, stress relief toys, putty, puzzles, mind games, trivia cards and so much more! When I first heard this I thought I wouldn’t use it but it really has helped and I recommend you trying these out!

Things to help with anxiety and panic attacks including grounding yourself with the 5 senses, focusing on getting your breathing back to normal (these are the 2 important ones) then afterwards you can phone a friend (it could even just be a chat to take your mind of what has happened, having a bath or shower, calming music, keeping hydrated, write it out to get everything off your chest, thinking about what makes you happy or what you are grateful for, hitting the games threads, positive talk (this is so important! Tell yourself you are strong, you are in control, you are not alone, you are confident, you are doing the best that you can despite everything you have gone through-just examples of things I see in you), drawing, reading, listening to podcasts and so much more! I know it can be hard to think of helpful things to do for yourself to make things easier while feeling stressed or down but if you keep a list of options somewhere, that could help.
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Re: TW it's all too much

trauma and flashbacks... they’re so unfair. No one should have to go through dealing with either of these. During flashbacks and when experiencing trauma, it is important to learn how to bring your mind back to the present. Focusing on what’s happening there and then at that time will help bring everything back to now and not the past. The problem is, finding what helps make this happen. Again, grounding techniques are really beneficial for bringing everything back to the present. Make sure your breathing is at a normal pace, focus on things around you, pick up vibes from people around you, distracting yourself to prevent the flashbacks to have time to be there and there’s so many more things you can do to bring your mind back but you need to experiment with these options to find the most effective way for you. It may not be your first option but you’ll get there Heart

grief.. grief is a pain. It’s horrible I know, I can really relate to not being able to let your passed loved ones go and I understand that it’s so hard. There are so many stages of grief and grief isn’t a straight line to recover.. sometimes grief can go in different stages and can go back to the same stages. Teen counselling is a counseling service that is via text, video and call but you have to pay. I’ve just found a chat room which is a peer support service for free. It’s like a group chat with other people and you can talk through bereavement (not sure what that is) and grief. But I just joined and they’re currently talking about corned beef, cheese and sandwiches?? I’ve never used that before tho. It’s important to remember grief is 100% normal and you are not alone Heart

Have you been to a doctor about your medical problems? They may be able to find you medication that can stop the seizures and reduce the pain. How has the hydrotherapy been going? Exercise helps with chronic pain a lot. I know it may feel like the last thing you want to do when you are in pain but exercise is the best way to help. Maybe you could try yoga or a small daily walk? Talking about what you are going through helps with pain as well because often when someone is in pain, you feel very alone as it’s hard to make someone understand the actual physical feeling. Posture is also an important thing to look out for when you struggle with chronic pain as it is very effective of the level of pain. Have you considered seeing a physiotherapist or chiropractor? They both helped me when I was dealing with extreme pain.

Suicidal thoughts.. I know it feels like the only answer and there are so many reason to think of why this could be the positive option when we are feeling so down but trust me, the reasons not to turn to suicide outweigh the negative talk that goes on in your head while feeling suicidal. You are so so valued and loved here on the forums. If anything happened to you, I would miss you so much and I would be so sad (I’m sure a lot of other users, your family and friends would be too). I love you and I care about you so so much. You have gotten me through my suicidal thoughts many times and you can do the same for yourself. You are strong! You are worth so much more than you think! I know when we feel like crap we just want to stop feeling and that way and it feels like suicide is the answer to that, no. There are ways to fix how you are feeling. You can get through the darkness and you can feel happiness again. It takes time. Suicide is a permanent option to a temporary problem. It doesn’t get rid of your pain, it passes it to the people that love and care about you.

Depression is always exhausting! While dealing with the feeling of always being exhausted, it’s important to keep up with regular and healthy meals, fluids and sleep. Sleep! Sleep can be a really really hard thing to do when we just have our mind stuck with so much to think about that leaves us sad. Have you ever tried sleep meditation? When getting ready to go to sleep it’s important you are comfy, the right temperature, not hungry or thirsty and if you’re going to do meditation to have it at a good volume so you can just hear it (so it doesn’t wake you back up if it’s really loud). Sleeping tablets obviously help with sleeping as well and if after trying different things to get your sleeping hours up doesn’t make a change, sleeping tablets may be helpful to start with. Then you can like take the dosage down over time as you get your sleeping patterns back on track.

For boredom and restlessness, this is where the distraction box can come in handy. Particularly puzzles. I know they sound boring but they are good at drawing all your attention to what you’re doing instead of focusing on negative things. And they don’t require so much energy. I can relate to you not having the energy to do things but always being bored and wanting to do things as I have iron deficiency. If you want some more strategies on what to do with this one let me know! I’ve got a few options I use when I feel this way Smiley Happy

my parents are alcoholics so.. I know they can get really loud and you just want everyone to get along and be happy but it’s not that easy hey. Is there a way you can have time to yourself in your room with your door shut? Going for a short walk usually helps me when I need a break from dealing with everyone around me.

I’m so sorry you feel as if there is no help for you Smiley Sad I’m always here for you Heart the way you are able to offer so many beautiful words and loads of helpful support to other users despite what you are going through yourself is so inspiring Heart I’ve always looked up to you! I care about you so much and I’m willing to offer all the help that I can give. If you need anyone to talk to, you can just tag me Smiley Happy

Love and thinking of you Heart Keep your head high and aim for positivity! Never give into those thought because you are worth so much more than those thoughts and I know you have the strength to get through this just by seeing what you bring to reach out Heart thank you, I appreciate you xx

(There we go! Solution: post in sections- sorry about that)
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Re: TW it's all too much

Thanks @Eden1717 

 

And that's exactly what I'd like honestly.

 

And yes, they have been.. plus they keep being confused by the fact I have more than one condition...

 

And yeah, I know exactly what you mean..

Ugh CBT... it actually makes things worse for me.

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Re: TW it's all too much

Thanks @Bre-RO 

 

That's exactly what's happening. I'm getting really mixed signals from.. everything, and I already struggle with my view of myself. Smiley Sad

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Re: TW it's all too much

Thank you @MisoBear 

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Re: TW it's all too much

Thank you @Bananatime04 

 

I think I've tried cotton on..?

Honestly though even some singlets are too much for me..

Oh actually sometimes maternity bras are comfy.. hmm....

 

As for support networks, I've tried all of that... it just.. never seems to help, no one seems to care...

I'm desperately trying to get face-to-face supports but they all end up either making things worse or completely falling through...

 

Meditation makes me dissociate, but I've used music for them pretty successfully.

But these hallucinations are ones I can see and feel.....

 

Those boxes sound perfect! Honestly it sounds like one would be good for my depression, and the other for my anxiety.

 

I want to be able to bring my mind back to present, but I just get lost in them. And then I dissociate and can't even think of doing that...

 

Yeah, if seen a heap of them.. unfortunately there isn't really any meds which can help FND.

I'm in too much pain to do anything like a walk, but the hydrotherapy seems to be helping slowly.

I think I'm on the right track, but it's such a slow process Smiley Sad

Yeah I have a chiropractor, she's really helpful.

But the last physio I saw messed up a lot and made things worse...

 

I'm on sedatives, so sleep isn't so much an issue.

Honestly regular meals can be a struggle...

 

Ohh puzzles are great!!

A little while ago I was bored for like two days straight, I did heaps of puzzles.

 

Hopefully I'll be able to hide in my room soon, but at the moment it's being renovated and it's not nice crying on a bare concrete floor.


And thank you so much Heart

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Re: TW it's all too much

@Tiny_leaf  Yes CBT can be unhelpful for some people. My sister also finds it very unhelpful. To me it feels like a bandaid that never gets to the root of the problem and only offers temporary solutions. I hope you can find a good support soon. Maybe have you been able to find psychs who are trained in multiple types of therapy sometimes psychs who are trained in DBT can be better at dealing with the suicide issues and the trauma issues. But again it is difficult. Is there anything that people on here could do to provide you with more support for the next while at least? 

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Re: TW it's all too much

No problem at all @Tiny_leaf! Heart I wanted to at least try and offer anything I could on each of your problems Smiley Happy sorry they weren’t the advice you were looking for.. your situations are so hard and I am so proud of you for Continuing to getting through all this each day! Heart

I’m sorry I don’t have any other bras I can recommend.. have you tried just going with nipple covers? Or even just taking the removable cups out of a bra and sitting them inside a tighter top? You could also try strapless bras or there are singlets/tops you can buy with built in padding. If none of these options work I would recommend maternity bras as you’ve just said they’re the most comfortable for you.. it’s better than loads of tops isn’t it?

I know the counsellor I have at kids helpline cares no matter what! She has absolutely no judgement and tries her absolute best to support any issue. If you would like to try the person I talk to, I can give you her name? Only if you’re interested Smiley Happy I can actually really understand this.. whenever my counsellor goes away I have to talk to other people and no one seems to care as much as she does. She really is different! In a really really good way! (Sorry for saying really a lot Smiley Tongue ) I wish you the best of luck with finding the face to face support that you’re looking for Smiley Happy

Oh I hate those ones! I’ve had ones that I can feel 3 times now and have no idea how to stop them. I’m really sorry I can’t help with that. But if you need someone to talk to about it when it’s happening or just someone that understands, I’m here.

Do you feel like making the boxes is something you are interested in doing? I can help you if you want Smiley Happy I can find things online that I’ve found helpful in my box if you want some help finding things to go inside.

I’m sorry that you struggle so much with staying in the present.. maybe this is something you could explore deeper with a professional? Sometimes getting those big feelings that causes the flashbacks in the first place out and talking about it help prevent them from coming back so badly. You may have a build up of strong emotions that have gotten worse over time- that is what’s happened with me.

Sorry I don’t really know much about FND so I don’t know how to help with that..
I think the best thing for you chronic pain is to stick with the hydrotherapy and chiropractor as you’ve seen a slight change.. at least it’s something! You’ll get there soon Heart I believe in you!

Would you be able to share what makes keeping your meals regular, hard? It’s ok if you don’t want to share but this is something I also struggle with too.. knowing the reason why helps us to make a difference Smiley Happy

It’s great that you’ve found puzzles helpful! I recently tried a 3D puzzle! That was cool. There’s so many different kinds of puzzles and I’d recommend you try them if you’ve found it helpful Smiley Happy

Sorry your room is being renovated Smiley Sad I can relate on not having any privacy when this is happening.. ugh it’s not fun! How long do you think you have to wait for your room to be done?

Thinking of you Heart