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To accept who i am? (LGBTQ)

A little bit of background of this situation.


Growing up, being "gay" was normal. I wasn't raised in an environment where being in a same sex relationship was bad. One of my aunties were in a relationship with another woman who i still categorise as an Aunty till this day. My sister one day introduced me to her girlfriend and since then she's had quite a few relationships with guys and girls. Then, one day my mum introduced us to her girlfriend who i absolutely love and call her my mum! She's an amazing person who spoils me and loves me like her own, i'm happy my mum found someone like her. 


And because of all these events, my friends think i will be the next one "to bring home a girl", including a guy i used to like (yikes). I don't find nothing wrong with that but i am stubborn af and am trying so hard to not make it true because then that means that everyone else will be correct. (I know, stubborn right?) 


I am an open person and i understand you can't help who you fall for, i have had crushes on girls and had things with girls and i don't mind it but i feel as if i'm torn between admitting that i might be Bisexual or just letting it go because it could just be a "phase". I told one of my best friends that "i might be bisexual" and another friend i talk openly about my things with girls. 


I know if i come out to my family i will not be in any harm, no one will suddenly disown me but i am scared to be laughed at, i'm scared to people having the "i always knew it" attitude towards me. I don't want people to be like "ofc she's Bi, her aunt, mum and sister are so it only makes sense". You know? 


I just need some advice on what to do.


Sincerely, A very confused girl Smiley Sad 

Re: To accept who i am? (LGBTQ)

@YourName Thanks for sharing with us, this is quite a curly one! I get the impression that you really don't mind what sexual orientation you or other are as such....but rather it's like you don't want to be boxed into a label?  I don't think anyone likes to be pigeonholed or called predictable right? My advice is that it's really really ok to be confused and to not push for a neat little package to present to others  'who you are'. Frankly you don't need the pressure.  


You mentioned a fear of being laughed at? No one wants to be singled out. Do you think this is a big part your concern? I'm not sure, I'm just throwing around some ideas to see what sticks. Someone else may have a different opinion or advice. I hope this made some sense Smiley Happy



Also: If you ever feel like a chat to explore this more you can contact a bunch of services here. 

Re: To accept who i am? (LGBTQ)

I kind of get where you're coming from @YourName. Being a bit of a stereotypical lesbian (I didn't mean to, it just sort of happened Smiley Tongue) I have received the 'Well, duh.' reaction when coming out. I wasn't overly concerned but I can see how it would be annoying Smiley Tongue Sounds like you're pretty open, especially with talking to friends and stuff. What if you didn't 'come out' and just sort of did whatever you wanted instead of putting yourself in a box? Just an idea. Also, it's totally normal to be confused. Like, everyone is Smiley Tongue I hope some of this made sense lol, it's been a long day.

Re: To accept who i am? (LGBTQ)

Hi YourName!


Even if you change your mind about how you identify some time from now, it still doesn't mean that how you feel now is unimportant even if it does end up being a phase. I personally have come to more than one conclusion about my own sexuality and I still don't regret coming out as something different years ago even though I see my sexuality different today. That being said, you totally do not have to come out as bi either if you don't feel you want to do that at this point in time. It's whatever makes you comfortable. Smiley Happy I understand, it can be a bit scary when you're worried about what other people might say. It comes down to when you think you're ready to be more open with others about your sexuality, regardless of what people may think. Hope that helps! Smiley Happy  


All the best!

Re: To accept who i am? (LGBTQ)

hello @YourName


im not complete lesbian but i am bisexual and they often have quite a stigma around them

though it is becomeing greatly accepted in society


theres nothing to be ashamed of, not at all

everyone is unique in there own way


i think even after you ahve told people about coming out the excitment will wear off, jsut becasue it is accepted in society now


i use to know a 'gay' person and  had trouble coming out as well but when she did it was only like a day of are you? blah blah blah but then after that it was like it never even happened and everyone jsut accepted it for what it was

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: To accept who i am? (LGBTQ)

Hey @YourName
It's a bit of a tricky situation. I myself identify as bisexual and I swear every week the degree to which I like girls over boys, or boys over girls changes. I think you are really lucky to have family that will understand (I haven't told my family yet...) and I am sure that know matter who you are attracted to, your friends and family will understand that. Even if you change your mind along the way. In saying that, I know it's scary to open up to people. So, if you are not ready to tell people that's perfectly ok too! Smiley Happy hope that helps.