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(Trigger Warning) I just wish my life was over

I'm sick of being seen as abnormal or a freak because I have mild aspergers, I hate how my condition and feelings are never taken seriously because people think my disorder makes you "mentally retarded". I hate "coming out" to my friends about having this condition and then being betrayed and hated for it. I just wish this life was over, I don't want to live in a world full of so much hate and stigma, that the moment I try to speak out against it, I'm called "selfish" or "rude". I'm also sick of being told not to be depressed because I'm not poor or starving, I understand that I live in better conditions then some, but so are a lot of other people who feel like me. I don't even know how to feel anymore, part of me wants to stay alive and care about myself, but at the same time I hate myself and feel like I deserve to be hated, ridiculed and shamed. 

Re: (Trigger Warning) I just wish my life was over

Hey @SebastianStark it's very tough dealing with mean and untrue comments from other people. I'm sorry you've had to endure it. The world can seem like a rough place at times. Nobody should be telling you don't have the 'right' to be depressed. You're allowed to acknowledge whatever you're feeling. Perhaps it could be that you're being frequently misunderstood by others and you feel hurt when they don't understand where you're coming from. It can be a vicious cycle that goes on and on. Sometimes it's about learning coping skills where we can take a bit of a step back when someone says something mean to us and pause and come up with a response that's in our best interest - whether that's trying to have a polite discussion or standing up for yourself (and hopefully one where it doesn't lead to a hostile interaction). 

 

You most definitely deserve to live a happy life and you deserve to care about yourself Smiley Happy Self-hatred can make self-acceptance seem very hard but the right kind of supports can help you understand and heal self-hatred. 

 

I'm wondering if you have a therapist or have seen one before? 

 

I saw you made another post not too long ago and there were some great responses to that. Did you have a chance to check out the blog @DirtWitch mentioned?