Uni/life struggles. Not sure what I want to do with my life.
Hi everyone.
Not sure if it's okay to ask for some words of encouragement. 🙂
I'm currently in my first year of uni studying psychology. Semester 2 is coming to an end soon and I have no idea if my program of study is right for me. I really enjoyed learning about psychology and I've learned so much about myself in my lectures. But I'm just not sure if I will be mentally stable enough to work in the field? The last thing I want to do is to burn out before I even start working since psych is a 6-year degree. How do people deal with not knowing if they're making the right decision regarding courses? I feel like this decision is going to determine the next 20 years of my life or something but it probably isn't going to. Major imposter syndrome here.
I saw my year 11 economics teacher in public today for the first time since I graduated from high school last year. It brought back so many high school memories and I hate that I haven't been able to visit my old high school due to the pandemic. But seeing him again reminded me of how unwell I was in year 11 and 12 as I had my first panic attack in his class. I feel like people that knew me in high school (teachers included) saw me at my lowest and are secretly judging me? I don't know if I'm making sense here.
Sorry for the vent. It's been a while since I logged onto RO! Hope everyone is doing okay.
Comments
Venting is good and so is encouragement
I would be in yr11 right now but I left early for tafe because mental illness!
I understand the wave of bad highschool memories. I spent most of highschool depressed and suicidal, and no one knew. So just being there was really triggering because it reminded me of some of the worst days of my life. So I'm glad to be out of that environment. But it's hard whenever I go there.
I haven't had panic attacks, but my best friend did in high school. So I've seen how intense they can be and so it's very understandable to be upset thinking about past ones.
It totally makes sense what you're saying. If anything, those people are more likely to be proud because you've grown and haven't let your lowest points stop you. And you should be proud of myself! People don't who have never suffered from any type of mental illness don't understand how much strength it takes to get through those hard times, then move on.
So glad you're enjoying your course, psychology is so interesting.
I know the feeling of not knowing what to do and major imposter syndrome. When I was chosing yr 11 ATAR subjects it felt like I was being asked: what career do you want, so what uni course are you going to do, so what subjects are you going to do next year. But at that stage, I was dreading waking up tomorrow and couldn't even think about next week, let alone next year and beyond. I felt this decision was the end of the world and there was so much pressure.
I chose my ATAR subjects. then five weeks into the school year i had a meltdown, opened up about some stuff, and decided to leave.
I guess what I'm trying to say is just because you make one decision now, doesn't mean you can't change your mind later. I did that. So do lots of other people.
No matter what you choose, mental health first. I'm still not certain what I'm going to do in the future. But I do know that I'm going to be alive and healthy. And once that's sorted out, I guess everything else will work out.
It's ok to be scared. No one really has it all together. You're doing so well and we're all just figuring it out as we go.
All the best. You can do this
@Akinna Thank you for being so open about your journey. I don't know you but I'm really proud of you. I would not have had the courage to leave school to focus on my mental health. In high school I literally would go to class and cry. It's quite funny now that I look back at it because I kept a list of the teachers I've cried in front of in year 11 and 12 - turns out there were 15 teachers! 😅 Thanks for the reminder about being okay to change my mind. Like you, I've always felt like once I make a decision I have to stick with it. But I know that I am allowed to change my mind, so thanks for the reminder. I hope that you're doing okay yourself! ❤️
Please be assured @justkeepswimming it took me a very long time, a few years, to prioritise my mental health! I didn't cry in class, but I went to the toilets to cry and hide from people and do other stuff... until it got to the point where I had no choice but to prioritise my mental health.
Thanks for your kind words, it did take courage. I'm actually kind of proud of the fact that I have a mental illness because despite how bad it's been, I'm still alive and I'm still fighting. And I decided I don't care what other people think about this decision, or any other decision to prioritise my mental health. And this one came as quite a surprise to everyone because I hid my illness so well. But it felt so good to finally be myself and be confidently open about my illness. It's nothing for anyone to be ashamed about.
At the end of the day, what matters most is that I'm alive and happy. Everything else is second. Same for you.
You are the most permanent person in your life so it's important to look after yourself.
Just be kind to yourself for whatever you did or didn't do because it's hard and you are brave and amazing for just surviving and you deserve to be proud of yourself for every small victory ❤️
Glad I can be just a tiny bit of help, all the best, you can do this!!!
Hey @justkeepswimming It's always totally okay to ask for words of encouragement! Interestingly, I want to do pyschology at UNI too!. It's good that you are mindful of not burning out..as for people judging you, and still trying to figure out if this course is right for you....there is no need to rush. Remember that you have plenty of time, and many people change courses, sometimes close to the end of their degree. Also, I assure you that nobody is judging you...most people are too absorbed in their own worlds to pay too much attention to you. However, I know this is hard to believe and your feelings are totally valid.
Hi @goldwing03 Thanks for your words of encouragement. ❤️ They're so appreciated. And yes it's so hard to remind myself that I have plenty of time to figure things out and that I can always change courses if I decide at any point that I don't want to keep studying psych. Anyway, psych is a very interesting topic so I'm glad that you're thinking about studying this at uni! 🙂
Hey,
I'm glad to know that I helped. As for studying psychology at Uni, I'm super excited to....but the ATAR for the course is really high LOL idk if ill make it yet. Finger's crossed!
Anyways, how are you feeling?
Here to talk xx
@goldwing03 Heyy! I'm not feeling too well today but I had a call with my KHL counsellor so that helped a bit. Sometimes we get bad days which is fine and today's one of those days. 🥺
I'd be more than happy to answer any questions you have about studying psych at uni! 😊 Yes, the ATAR for psych is really high and I never thought that I'd make it either. In year 12 I applied for early entry and I got into BPsych that way and I never used my ATAR. Depending on the uni they basically look at your year 11 results and you fill out an application talking about your leadership positions (which can be anything really eg. school, sport coaching, being a team member at work, being a carer etc...). I think the main thing is to do your best because that's all that matters. I know that the final year of school is super competitive but you can't control how other people perform in the state so it's best to do your best and help each other. Helping your friends is one of the best ways to learn because if you can't explain something in simple language then you don't understand it well enough.
I have lots to say about our current education system (mainly bad things ahha). I'm also currently helping a lecturer with her research in educational psychology, so hopefully in the future I can be part of the people that change the education system for the better.
Let me know if you have any questions! ❤️
Hi,
What exactly is a Bpsyche degree? Is it the same thing as Psychology Honours for example at UNSW? I have a lot of extracurricular volunteering and leadership roles at the moment, but I'm not sure if my year 11 results are that amazing LOL. And I'm not really sure which Universities would offer early entry...
Bpsych is very similar to BPsych (honours). The only exception is that honours is your 4th year and you have to do a thesis- like conducting your own study and writing up a research report on it. If you want to become a psychologist, you have to do 3 years plus the 4th (honours) year AND either 1 year masters or 2 year masters. The Australian Psychological Society (APS) website has a really neat flowchart outlining the study pathways if you want to have a look at it! Link here :))
Basically, you want to aim to get into honours. I'm not in honours yet so I'll have to transfer to BPsych (honours) at the end of next year. But even if you get into honours through your atar, you still have to maintain a certain WAM (this just means an average grade) every year to get into honours. At my uni, we have to get a 70+ WAM for first and second year psych subjects and a 75+ WAM for our 3rd year psych subjects to be competitive enough to get into honours.
Hope this makes sense! I'm sure you'll do great.😊
Hey @justkeepswimming it's nice to hear from you 😊 As someone who also studies psychology and has asked myself whether or not I could handle doing the degree/ career with a mental illness, I completely understand your nervousness about it. I'm guessing that you're hoping to become a psychologist yourself? You also said that you're worried about burnout. Are you worried about this in your degree, or maybe afterwards?
You are right that it is a very long degree, but I think that if you are suited and passionate about it then you will be able to do it, especially if you can look after your mental health as you go. As for worrying about committing to a career, I know it is really hard to think about when psychology seems like such a linear degree. The reality is though, a psychology degree can let you do so many different things than just being a clinical psych sitting in an office. There are also lots of ways to help people with their mental health that don't involve being a psychologist too, such as being a counsellor, mental health worker, caseworker or peer support worker, which some might argue are less 'science-y' and more hands-on. I'm doing my honours year next year after doing another degree and I'm still balancing out the pros and cons of different career paths. @Philippa-RO is absolutely right- you may not know what you want to do until you actually do some research or try it yourself. I'm happy to talk about my experience of still not knowing exactly what I want to do 7 years later if you'd like!
I'm sorry to hear that you haven't been able to visit your high school, it sounds like that would be really important to you. I think it's a great insight to realise that you have grown from high school and have gotten through some of your difficulties. I don't think teachers will judge you- they will teach a lot of students over their careers and I'm sure they've seen a lot of stuff from many students! What would it mean to you if you did feel judged?
Hi @StormySeas17 🙂 I'm hoping to become a school counsellor because I've worked with two school counsellors and they really helped me through a difficult time in my last two years of school. I think that I'm just worried about burnout in general, I'm not sure if I have what it takes to "make it" to honours/masters. Yeah that's true that there are lots of pathways to help people with their mental health. I'd love to hear more about your experience!
I am pretty bummed that I haven't been able to visit my high school because high school was such a safe space for me and teachers actually cared about me. I think I just care a lot about making sure adults (including adults) like me. High school is so different from uni, although I'm thankful that I have a lecturer/ tutor that I've really connected with and am currently helping her with one of her research projects. I think I just miss having someone look out for me at school. 😞
@justkeepswimming I think they're really common questions that most people ask themselves at some stage. For what it's worth, I think a lot of people get told that their choice of course or career is going to determine the rest of their life, and that might've been true in the past, but I think in reality it's pretty rare for people to stay in one job or career pathway nowadays.
I'm not sure if it helps, but I've changed career a few times and tried out a few different degrees until I found something I really loved to do. Even with that, I started my course thinking it was just for interest and I probably wouldn't finish it (except it turned out that I loved it so much, I wanted to). None of us has a crystal ball so we can't always know what will happen, but it's completely okay to change your mind.
For now, it sounds like you're really liking your course - is that right? If so, how would it feel to just enjoy it for what it is and see what happens? If you change your mind, or want to defer or take leave, they're always options.
That sounds pretty confronting about seeing your year 11 teacher and it bringing up memories from high school. How are you feeling about it now?
Yeah I'm really liking my course at the moment. Life would be a lot easier if we had a crystal ball. I think I'll try to enjoy my course and see what will happen. I'm still not feeling too good about seeing my year 11 teacher because he reminded me so much about how unwell I was in high school but also my lack of progress in finding a psychologist after I graduated from high school. I did try to find another psych but the first one that I found didn't vibe with me and once I felt like I was ready to really open up to the second psych, she told me that she's leaving the practice. It's so hard to find support that would stick around and I feel like I'm trying so hard to find support for myself but nothing is working out. 😔
@justkeepswimming I'm hearing you re: the crystal ball - they'd be super handy!
That sounds like a plan re: your course - I really hope it goes well and things become clearer with a bit more time. That must've been really confronting to be reminded of a time when you were feeling so unwell in the past. It's incredible to hear that you've persevered through so much, but I wish you could have the support you'd like.
I'm really sorry you've had so much trouble with finding a psychologist - it's not easy to learn to trust someone and start opening up, and then to have them leave must have been so hard. Sounds like you've tried really hard to find good support. Are you still keen to find a psychologist or counsellor? If you are, is there anyone who might be able to help with recommendations? (Eg. a friend, family member or doctor you trust?)
Hi @Philippa-RO Yeah it's hard for me to trust psychologists again because it's been a trend that psychologists will leave before I feel ready to end counselling/therapy. I'm really lucky to still be talking to my KHL counsellor for almost 2 years now, but I think I'd prefer a face to face psychologist to work on my anxiety and attachment issues. I'm not sure if I'm ready to try connecting with a new psychologist yet, but when I feel ready to I'll go back to my GP and ask for recommendations. I'm really glad that I can always come back to RO forums though! It's a safe space for me. ❤️
Hey @justkeepswimming I'm sorry to hear that it is hard for you to trust psychologists again as you are feeling worried about future relationships ending before you feel ready for them to end. I think it is really great that you are still seeing your KHL counsellor for support 😀. Sounds like you have a good plan for what could happen once you feel ready to start a relationship with a new psych again.
It's awesome that you find the forums to be a safe space. We are always happy to support you here 💜.
