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When can I die?

When can I die? This question has been running through my head for two days now. Ever since I didn't sleep well on Monday night. Nothing has caused this thought that I know of... Smiley Sad but it's the first time in months I've felt suicidal and this time around I really have no one who'll care.It really sucks I thought that I may of been getting better.
If I bring this up with people they are just dismissive and tell me there is stuff to live for and I am loved. But no one actually shows it they are all talk and I am just not worth it.

Re: When can I die?

Hey @Grake, thanks for reaching out to us on here. Takes a lot of courage. Firstly, we all care here a lot so I'm glad that you chose to chat to us about what you're going through. You mentioned that you've felt suicidal before, have you seen a GP or psychologist about the thoughts you are having before? Is it just a fleeting thought or having you been thinking about it seriously?

 

Mental illness can be a little bit like a long hike through the mountains, most of the time you're going up but sometimes you come to a stand still and other times you duck into a valley but that doesn't diminish how far on the hike you've already come. It's all a learning process and the fact that you are able to recognise that you're having these thoughts and have the courage to come here to ask for help tells me you're already further along than when you started.

 

It really sucks that the reaction that you've had from the people you've told has been dismissive. It can be hard to for other people to understand what you're really going through or maybe they just dont know what to say or how to deal with it. Who are the people that you have brought it up with? Are they people that you are very close with? Have you spoken to your family about it? 

Re: When can I die?

Hey @Grake you posted this twice so just letting you know i'm going to move the other one! Smiley Happy

Re: When can I die?

Hey @Grake! We really care about you here at RO and don't want you to die. Do you have a plan to end your life? 

 

I want you to call someone for me, they're called Suicide Callback Service and they're where the awesome people like @Kaz-RO come from. We can keep talking here too, but i want to make sure someone can speak to you and give you all the time you need to be heard and work through this. If you don't feel up to calling them I can actually get someone to call you and make things a little easier Smiley Happy 

 

I am going to send you an email as well, talk soon! 

Re: When can I die?

Oh and this is where you can go to talk to them Smiley Happy 

 

https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au/

 

I want to keep talking through this here too, but if things are really tough right now, then i want to make sure someone is there to listen to you and give you lots of support and time in a more 1 on 1 kind of way on top of the type of talking we can do here Smiley Happy 

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Re: When can I die?

Hey guys. Thoughts are just fleeting and is literally just the question when can I die over and over again. I have a physc appointment on tuesday. Off to training now to try improve my mood.

Re: When can I die?

Hope you feel better soon and that training goes well @Grake . Those sort of thoughts can definitely be annoying when they get persistent like that, but I'm glad that you've got an appointment. Are you planning on bringing it up with your psych?
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Re: When can I die?

I know I should tell the physc but it usually depends on how I'm feeling on the day. I really don't know

Re: When can I die?

It is a pretty important thing to tell them, so Id really encourage you to start planning how to tell them and get a plan in place for what to do if you don't feel like saying it on the day.
What sort of feelings might come up to make you decide not to say anything about it?
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Re: When can I die?

How are you going @Grake?
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Guess what day it was!!! It was Wear It Purple Day!! Come on over and learn all about what it is and what you can still do!