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Why I'm Here

So I guess I should probably describe why I'm using ReachOut.

 

[WARNING, LONG]:

I've struggled with depression and anxiety for basically as long as I can remember. It's affected my grades in school, my motivation and overall my will to live. I've self-harmed, I have suicidal thoughts frequently and I'm constantly worried something bad will happen.

 

My parents refuse to believe anything is wrong with me or that I need help, so I can't go see a GP to get a diagnosis, or a psychologist, therapist or psychiatrist. The counsellors at school are generally unhelpful, giving stupid tips like "Have you tried meditation?" and that sort of stuff.

 

One of my major coping mechanisms was sharing my experiences with my best friends but two of them are in separate schools now and I seldom see them. My only other friend in school will probably have to leave the country in a couple of weeks, and the group we used to sit with kicked us out.

 

On top of this, I'm dealing with the stress of being in Year 11 and a difficult breakup with a girl who probably never cared about me in the first place. Everything seems to be piling up and I really don't know what to do.

 

So I'm just kind of just here to reach out (haha get it), because I'm really sick of suffering in silence and I don't want to put more strain on my friends. I appreciate you just taking the time to read this, it's a lot of weight of my shoulders.

 

- Aluzar

Re: Why I'm Here

Hi @Aluzar, welcome to reach out! 
Im very sorry to hear you're dealing with a lot right now and that you are feeling overwhelmed with feelings and worries. You've done the right thing by coming on here, I hope the opportunity to express your thoughts lightened the heavy load on your shoulders, even just a bit.
I see you have written that your parents refusing to believe you are in pain has meant you are unable to talk with a professional other than your school counsellor. Have you ever tried online or phone counselling? This is the number to kids helpline: 1800 55 1800, it is free, private and confidential and you could access this service without your parents knowledge. This is also not the only one, I also know headspace has an online and phone anonymous help service as well. I'll also attach an article of ours that helps you with how to call a helpline if you're unsure or nervous;
https://au.reachout.com/articles/how-to-call-a-helpline

I'm sorry to read about your friends moving schools, and that your only friend may be moving away, that sure does make it tough when you are wanting to have someone to hang out with. Is there anyone in your classes that you think could be a potential new friend? Perhaps you could ask to sit with someone else's group for a lunch and see how it goes? 

Break ups are very tough, and can often leave us feeling very lonely and confused. I'll also attach another reach out article on coping with a break up so that you can read that you are not alone with your feelings and there ARE tricks and tips on moving on and taking care of yourself. Do you have a self care routine at all? 
https://au.reachout.com/articles/coping-with-a-breakup

Hopefully this gives you some stuff to read and focus on, we do not want you to be suffering in silence any longer. We are here for you, and we will help you in any way that we can Heart 

 

Re: Why I'm Here

Hi @Aluzar,

 

Welcome to the RO forums.

 

It sounds like you are dealing with a lot right now and it is such a good thing that you have expressed yourself here. I really just wanted to echo the sentiment that RO is a very supportive community. 

 

@Jane_Rose has given you some really great resources already. Particularly the link to a self care plan. I often use the resources here when I am feeling over whelmed. If you do use any of them I would love to hear if they helped you.

 

How was your day at school?

 

 

Re: Why I'm Here

@Jane_Rose 

Thanks for the response and resources. I haven't tried the Kids Helpline yet, so I'll give that a shot, but I have done a few things on Headspace.

 

When it comes to new friends in classes, I only really have one person I feel comfortable enough with to consider a friend, and I don't like the people she hangs around terribly much (they have a reputation for being unkind). I may try sitting with her group however, I'll see how it goes next term.

 

I have somewhat of a self-care routine, which I'm improving upon using journaling (making sure I fill a quota each day and whatnot). Thanks again for taking the time out of your day to reply, it means a lot.

 

@Tasi 

Thanks for the message, it was really nice to log back on and to see both you and Jane_Rose's replies.

 

My day at school was alright today, my friend was away on an excursion so I sat alone but I didn't really mind (I had work to do anyway).

 

Thanks for the sentiments everyone. I know I've said thanks a lot but I truly mean it. It's been so heartening to see such a kind response from everyone.

 

- Aluzar

Re: Why I'm Here

Hey @Aluzar

First of all welcome to ReachOut! I am really glad that you found everyone's suggestions so helpful, it's always super lovely to see when advice and support really do make a situation a bit better. I also want congratulate you for coming and asking for advice. It can take some bravery to ask for help, especially for the first time, but it is always very rewarding when you do. 

 

 @Jane_Rose's  advice about calling Kids HelpLine is a thought I want to echo, particularly when you're feeling very low, or vulnerable. They're trained counselors and can help you through times of distress or crisis. @Tasi was also right in saying RO is a very supportive community, so if you want to talk through some stuff with the community here, it's a great place to do so!