Work Anxiety :(

I'm not sure about an employee assistants program @Bre-RO but I do know that there are some training courses on professional development in this industry that I can try and attend. 

@drpenguin I don't have any employees to go to work with as my job requires me to go to different schools regularly and so I'm often working with new people unless I am placed at the same school. Even then I don't know anyone well enough to go together. 

@WheresMySquishy good to hear from you too. I'm trying to get my bag and things organised the night before but in terms of the actual work for the day, I never know what I am teaching until I arrive on the day because I'm a substitute. It's go go go once I arrive. 

I'm really trying to get a good nights sleep so I think over the next week that's going to be my main focus. 

Hey @mspaceK , I see, it sucks that you can't have regular colleagues as a substitute teacher since you're always going to different schools. I can see why working makes you so anxious since you're always in a new environment and constantly having to teach a new batch of students every time, which means you don't really have a regular work schedule that you're comfortable with. But you've managed yourself well so far and that's really great of you!  Have you considered applying for a part-time teaching job that is more regular than your current job? Maybe the irregularity in being a substitute teacher isn't the best for your work anxiety.

Hope you're doing better these few days! 

@WheresMySquishy I wouldn't want to do the taxi ride share thing mainly because of money but it's a good idea. 

@drpenguin I have considered trying to get a part time teaching job and I've been freaking out about the whole application process, interviews and writing key selection criteria. I really need to get some people to help me write all that. I think ultimately being part time at a school would be better for me. It's the process of getting there that I am struggling with. As a substitute teacher even though I'm mostly teaching different students and sometimes new schools, I have been lucky enough to be placed at one school. But when they don't need a substitute that morning I get a phone call from my agency to work at a different school in a different role and that's when I start freaking out more and turning down shifts. So I know being at one school would help alot. 

Hey @mspaceK 

It sounds like you have a good understanding of what you need to feel better about work. I think it would be great if you had some support to tackle the work anxiety so you can make the steps you'd like to make. I did some research and all teachers working for the department of education are eligible to phone counselling through the employee assistance program (and further support/face to face support if need be). If you think this could be helpful they will do a quick intake with you over the phone and then you'll be able to have counselling over the phone straight away! They are also a 24/7 service which is good to know. They're number is 1300 361 008 and you can read more about EAP (employee assistance program) here. 

I'm not sure I fully understand how it works @Bre-RO even after reading it. Is it just people I can talk to over the phone about working? 

Hey @mspaceK., 

I looked into the service that Bre mentioned above and from what I found, EAP is a telephone counselling service that the Department of Education pay for. You can talk about most things with this service - like you would with most counsellors - but they also specialise in counselling people on work related issues. For example, they might give you support or advice on managing work related stress, or adjusting to changes in the workplace. 

I've included a link to their about page here so you can check them out further is you like

Thanks for the link @Andrea-RO . I think I'm going to focus on talking to my psychologist tomorrow about this and my kidshelpline counselor on Sunday. Hopefully I can become more confident in my work place role and earn a stable income without the intense anxiety accompanying it. I'm not sure what other job I would be better suited to. I can't really see myself doing anything else. I don't know what i could do. 

Tonight I am also having another night where i am really frustrated with my house mate because of the house mess issue. She just doesn't clean up after herself and leave the environment clean to an acceptable standard for me. I can't live with her anymore. I've made plans to move out but it won't be practical until early next year so I have to wait. Plus i can't move out until I get over this work anxiety issue and know that i can support myself without any money issues. It's all very stressful. 

Hii @mspaceK , just catching up on your thread. How did your session with your psychologist go? Did it help enlighten you on how to cope with your work anxiety? You also said you're not sure what other job you would be better suited to and can't see yourself doing anything else. What aspects of being a substitute teacher interests you? Maybe we can help suggest other similar employment 

Housemates definitely can be difficult to live with especially if they have different lifestyles to you. I used to live in a flat with random students who would temporarily live there for a few months and then leave, so definitely understand when people don't clean up after themselves, especially in the shower, bathroom, and kitchen. Do you know your housemate(s) well? Have you ever tried talking to them about their cleanliness habits? I hope your home situation becomes better or at least tolerable before you can finally move out!

Hey @mspaceK 

Apologies if I didn't clearly explain how the service works, as Andrea said it's basically a phone counselling service where you can discuss personal and professional matters that are causing you distress. It's just another tool you can use if you ever need 🙂 

I hope your appointment goes well with your psychologist I trust that you will get to the bottom of this with the help of your support network. 

It must be really frustrating for you living in that kind of environment. I know I've been in your shoes and it can really start to wear you down after awhile. What have you been doing to manage the situation up until this point? I hope you can find a way to get through the next couple of months before you can move  

@mspaceK  The training courses sound like a good idea! I've done a few that are relevant to my field myself.

I had another idea. If you're not able to go with a colleague, do you think it would be helpful or unhelpful to use a ride sharing app or taxi service? I'm not sure whether it might motivate you to have something like that booked in advance or whether it might make things worse.

I think getting a good night's sleep might help a lot.

@drpenguin I feel like I'm not good enough for my job and also get super nervous about going. I feel like I do the wrong thing and get super stressed about little things. I feel like I don't do my job right and I have to do a good job. I get worried about things going wrong and it replays over in my mind and I keep thinking I should have done better. It's so bad i can't even get myself to go now, like I've failed before I even get there. I feel like there is something wrong with me. I feel so sick about working and knowing I have to go again. I even considered applying for a new job but the job application process and prospect of interviews only makes the anxiety worse. 😞 

Hii @mspaceK , your thoughts and worries replaying over in your mind definitely sounds frustrating and difficult. We all experience these thoughts from time to time, so it's a normal feeling to have, and there's nothing wrong with you. When I'm worried or anxious about how something will turn out, I try to prepare myself as much as possible to make myself less stressed and avoid a bad outcome. Like for example, when I'm anxious about doing a presentation, I make sure I memorise everything I have to say beforehand so that I can avoid messing up when I actually present. I'm not sure if this example applies to your situation, but I hope that I can help you.  

And like Bre-RO said, there definitely is nothing wrong with making mistakes and learning from them at work. Everyone makes mistakes and have been where you are, so I'm sure they'll understand and help you if you do the wrong thing from time to time. Support from your colleagues as well can go a long way in encouraging you to learn and improve at work too. Do you have any workplace colleagues that you know well and could help you?

Hey @mspaceK 

From what you've described the work anxiety you're going through sounds really exhausting. It's so hard when the mind replays what could go wrong over and over. I remember feeling much the same as you when I first entered the workforce. It isn't the easiest time - you're learning new things, meeting new people, forming a new part of your identity as a "professional". Not to mention the fact that in our modern world, having an income is tied to how we survive. That's a lot of pressure as it is. I can see why this has been causing you so much stress. 

I want to assure you that there's nothing wrong with you for finding this to be a challenge. If you can, give yourself permission to be in the learning stages. There is no shame in making mistakes and learning from them - in fact it's a completely necessary part of mastering any skill set. What makes a world of difference is having the support from your employer. I'm just wondering if your workplace has any employee assistance programs?