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dont know what im supposed to do

I havent posted on here for a while, ive caught up in my own ways and just needed time to deal with things.
But i need some advice.

In two weeks im going in for a mastectomy due to having cancer but about a week ago i found out it has spread.
Hearing that just made me want to cancel my surgery and just be myself live my life..
im so lost and confused i just dont think i can go ahead with surgery
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Re: dont know what im supposed to do

Hey @Talitha93,

I'm glad to see you back here on ReachOut, but I'm so sorry to hear that the cancer has spread. Cancer is a bastard (excuse my language). It's totally understandable that you're feeling confused and unsure. It's a lot to be dealing with!

Who is supporting you as you go through all this? You mentioned your mum before. No matter what you decide to do, your mum and your support team (like your doctor and surgeon) will be able to give you information and support to help you come to the right treatment decisions for you.

And keep posting here to let us know how you are going, ok?

 

You are in my thoughts.

blithe

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Re: dont know what im supposed to do

Hey @blithe

Its okay i think i was thinking some worse words to use.
To be honest i haven't spoken to my mum about it. She hasn't changed since the last time i mentioned her. She actually has gotten worse.
I just don't think I'm strong enough to do this anymore

Will do
Thank you and sorry
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Re: dont know what im supposed to do

Hey @Talitha93 ,

You don't need to apologise for anything. And if you're having trouble talking to your mum, it's totally ok to find other people to talk to and support you at this time. Friends, your doc, a support phone line like lifeline (13 11 14).
xx

blithe

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Re: dont know what im supposed to do

Hey @blithe
I feel bad for dumping my pathetic dramas on people
I'm finding it hard to talk to a lot of people lately. I write things or go to say things an the words just don't come out. I just feel lost in this great big bubble...
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Re: dont know what im supposed to do

Hi @Talitha93 

 

I hope you are feeling better. And please be aware that you can dump anything to us and we will listen. I/We actually are fortunate that you give us the opportunity to listen and help you.

 

When something this big comes along it takes some time to figure it all out. Whats hard is sometimes there is no right or wrong answer. I really think if you could find many people to talk to and continue to chat to us on this forum that it will help you find clarity and also make you that you are not alone.

 

Dont be afraid to ask for help and dont be afraid to that people will sick/bored of you talking about your problems. There are a lot of good people out there that will be there for you. 

 

Take care

 

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Re: dont know what im supposed to do

hey @Talitha93  I'm so so sorry to hear that it has spread, I'm really upset for you and am really hoping for your recovery.  I can imagine you really must feel like letting it all go

 

Your doctors will always have your best interests in mind, so I'd take that into account when making a decision.

 

I think you have shown unbelievable strength and courage.  The surgery must be incredibly daunting - perhaps don't cancel just yet and give yourself some time to think about it.  Remember how much you have to offer with your life!  You have been such an inspiration thus far and you can continue to be so with how you approach this obstacle. 

 

Again, you're doing such an amazing job and perhaps don't cancel it just yet and give yourself a couple of days to think about it?  Perhaps you could set a date and time that you are going to make a decision?

 

I wish you all the best

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Re: dont know what im supposed to do

Hi @standinside @tsnyder

Thank you for your kind words.
I just got out of the doctors.
With the cancer spreading i need to have some of my lymph nodes removed . My doctor is going to remove 5 and test them. If they all come back poistive for cancer than there is a 66% chance of making it through 6 years of my life..

this sets me back so much in not knowing what to do.
I have till tomorrow to decide.. he wants to do the surgery tomorrow afternoon.
How can a 21 year old base a decision with the fact if knowing the outcome...
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Re: dont know what im supposed to do

Hi @Talitha93 - that is a really scary thing to be going through and I don't blame you for feeling worried and confused. I really, really encourage you to give CanTeen a call - http://www.canteen.org.au/how-we-help/counselling/ They have a counseling service specifically for young people facing cancer, so they understand what you're going through and can give you some options. Is that something you can do?

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Re: dont know what im supposed to do

I dont think i can right now i just need some time. I dont even want to tell my mum at the moment.
How do you tell someone so important in your life whats going on