cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

feeling emotions i don’t understand

lately i’ve been feeling quite empty and anxious and overwhelmed. i tried describing my feelings:

 

- grey
- tight chest, like a storm is building up behind my ribcage
- detached, i am glued in place while the world continues to move forward
- zoned out while my thoughts clamber over one another like the zombies in world war z
- my body feels vacant
- my mind is wading through claggy mud

 

i feel like this occasionally, usually for 1-3 days every few weeks. it hasn’t been so bad recently, but a lot worse a while ago. i guess it feels like depression and anxiety but i don’t want to diagnose myself. this is probably caused by a few things in my life, such as my deep set insecurities and self doubt, my detachment from my friends (who sometimes hurt me without meaning to or realizing), and the arguments and fighting in my home. i dunno

Re: feeling emotions i don’t understand

Hey @georgiabread, welcome to RO! 

 

Firstly, thanks so much for sharing and reaching out. It seems as though you're quiet aware of the emotions you're feeling and possible causes, is there a particular trigger that you think may be causing this?

Have you been able to speak to anyone you trust about how you're feeling? 

 

Looking forward to hearing from you😊

Re: feeling emotions i don’t understand

Hi @georgiabread, really happy to have you at RO!

 

Those emotions do sound confronting and scary, but it's really incredible how aware you are of them. It's a big step in admitting you're feeling in a negative way, so that's really brave of you. 

You mention a few things about self-doubts, could I ask where these doubts come from?
And despite feeling the detachment from your friends at times, it can really be painful when they unintentionally hurt you, have you tried to talk to any of your close friends about this issue?

 

We are all friends here to talk with, whenever you need us Smiley Happy

Re: feeling emotions i don’t understand

hello and welcoem to RO, well done on reaching out it can be really tricky with these sorts of feelings cant it. @georgiabread 

along with both @sweet_baking@honky questions, do you mind if i ask if your still in school? maybe you could speak to a trusted teacher, or peer supporter about how your feeling or the school counsellor? 

have you got friends and family that you can talk to?

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: feeling emotions i don’t understand

@honky thank you Smiley Happy there's a few things that trigger me, i guess. when i'm hanging with my friends, sometimes they'll insult me as a joke/banter, which i can usually take as it's funny. but sometimes it hurts when they call me an idiot or say anything rude, and i end up in a spiral of self doubt and i often cry about it later. also, if i'm watching a movie or reading a story and insecurity/self doubt is part of the storyline, i will grow sad. although there aren't always triggers, sometimes i just fall into these 'holes' with no cause behind the feelings. 

 

and yes, i do have a few friends i can trust with my feelings and i often go to them for support, but i have no one in my immediate friend group and i've never told my family.

Re: feeling emotions i don’t understand

@sweet_baking thank you so much, i've never thought about it as brave but that means a lot Smiley Happy as for my self-doubt, i don't remember how it started but i think it comes from a fear of being alone/rejected/hated by everyone who means something to me in my life. i've always tried to maintain relationships and be good enough for others, but then i've always thought that i'm not good enough, that i'm inadequate and unloved and ugly and a burden. of course, i know that's not true but it's hard to remember that. 

 

there is one friend in my group who i can probably trust to talk to, as she's had experience with mental illness, but i just need to have the courage to actually do that. 

Re: feeling emotions i don’t understand

@scared01 thanks so much <3 and yeah i'm still in school, and we have a counselor but i'd feel uncomfortable talking to him about it as i know him too well as a teacher. i don't think i'd ever open up to a teacher. and like i said to @sweet_baking i do have one friend i could trust but i haven't been able to tell her yet. and my family will probably be the hardest to tell.

Re: feeling emotions i don’t understand

thats understandable, it can be extrelemy hard speaking to anyone about whats going on for you @georgiabread

well you have  us here and you more than welcome to chat to us here Smiley Happy

**NEVER be afraid to ask for help because you're WORTH it!**

Re: feeling emotions i don’t understand

Hey @georgiabread and welcome to ReachOut!

 

Yeah, the school counsellor also being a teacher can definitely make confiding in them difficult, huh? Could you see a counsellor outside of school?

 

The fact that the friend you mentioned has experience with mental illness suggests that she'd be receptive to talking to you about this stuff. If telling her face to face is intimidating, would you consider sending a text or writing a letter?

 

Looking forward to hearing from you! 

// Spiral outward, keep going. //
Highlighted

Re: feeling emotions i don’t understand

Firstly @georgiabread I would like to say that I am glad you are able to identify the distressing emotions you are feeling, and even catch some of the triggers--and believe me, that is an incredible skill that not enough people have! And yet, it forms the basis of how we communicate how we are feeling to others, so I commend you for being so aware!

 

From my experience as someone with a mental illness, who has had friends also with varying other mental illnesses, it's very comforting to find someone who "gets it" and most likely your friend would probably be really happy that you came to them and opened up discussions on mental health (for your sake, and their sake as well!).

 

Talking to a professional can help a lot, especially because the focus is often on how to recognise oncoming "episodes" of bad feeling and strategies to deal with them. Having the school counsellor also be a teacher can create such mixed feelings, so I completely understand that you're hesitant. Would it be possible to see a counsellor or psychologist outside the school? Are there community initiatives like a local HeadSpace close to you?