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socially awkward and lonely

Hey so to get straight into it and to give you some context i left school end of grade 11 along with my friend as it was just bullshit and a lot of stuff went down. So now i'm into the next year and i've done nothing,literally nothing. My friend is busy doing a course and she has zero time for me and i'm happy for her, she's actually doing great but she's literally my only friend so i'm isolated from like most human contact and i'm so lonely. And yes i know full well its my own fault but i have crippling social anxiety and when on the rare occasion i'm out in public i just end up ignoring everybody. i need to get a job but i have no experience and my fear of people doesn't really help in any way. i've just gone from talking to my best friend everyday and being so close to hardly ever even contacting her and i'm the one who texts her first every time. i just sort of loath myself for not making more of my life, for not even really trying that hard to doing anything about my situation. It also doesn't help that i have basically no one to talk about this to as my family consists of my dad and brother and we're not a super close family, not to mention my dad dates about 12 girls at once(exaggeration lol) and hardly pays attention to me at all, he's been on a downwards spiral since my mum died and it just all makes me think extra about the fact that it would be so great to have my mum here to talk about all this with and then thinking about that makes me depressed so basically i don't know what to do. I don't even feel real anymore like if no one actually sees you are you even there? i thought being out of school would fix all my problems, not make me ten times worse. anyway if anyone has any like suggestions to my long ass rant it would be great Smiley Happy

Re: socially awkward and lonely

Hey @sociallyawkwardgirl and welcome to ReachOut! Smiley Happy

 

I'm sorry that things have been tough for you lately. Socialising and making new friends can be really difficult. Here are some cool articles and videos that might be helpful: how to be less socially awkwardhow to make new friends, and some communication skills

 

What are some things you might like to do as a job?

Re: socially awkward and lonely

hey @N1ghtW1ng thank you for replying. I don't really know what sort of job i want like i guess something in retail to start off with would be the easiest for me to get at my age but then theres the whole having to actually talk to people which i'm not very good at :/

Re: socially awkward and lonely

Hi @sociallyawkwardgirl

 

First I'd suggest you do something very simple or very hard depending on who you are. That is to figure out what you want in life, a goal of sorts. Maybe figure a career or job that interests and work towards it. 

 

Have you thought about doing a Tafe course? Or pick up a trade if that's your fancy? Like you said since you have no experience, the jobs you would be looking at are stuff like cashiers, any supermarkets, fast food/cafes etc. Those places are happy to take people without any experience as they provide pretty good training. Since you said you pretty much only have one friend, finding a job or doing a course will help you meet new people and find new friends. I know you have very bad social anxiety but I think it will help you in the long run.  

Re: socially awkward and lonely

Hi @LeoTheLion the only thing i really want to do in the future is travel but obviously you need money for that. Frankly not many jobs interest me at all and i've never wanted to go to uni or Tafe. Thats why i want a job so i can save up to travel and then figure out my future after that when i'm older and hopefully have more of an idea of what i want to do. I know i need to be around people more often to get over my anxiety and actually try to make more friends but when i actually try i just freeze up and get all quiet. I'm thinking of going to some sort of group therapy thing for other kids with anxiety, i dunno i think it might help.

Re: socially awkward and lonely

That sounds great @sociallyawkwardgirl. Headspace is great for youths if you looking down that route. Therapy is normally one on one though. 

 

You're still young so you don't need to figure out what you want exactly but having a general idea is always nice. Guess your plan now is work -> money -> friends -> travel! 

Re: socially awkward and lonely

Hey @sociallyawkwardgirl, welcome to RO! It seems like you're wanting to find some work but are struggling to do so because of your social anxiety, am I right? Your suggestion of possibly trying group therapy to help solve this issue sounds like a great idea and I agree with @LeoTheLion that visiting headspace is a great place to start with you want to pursue that idea. Perhaps you could contact them or visit a headspace centre?
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Hope is just around the corner; you think it's not there when you first look straight ahead, but it actually is when you turn around

Re: socially awkward and lonely

@Esperanza67 @LeoTheLion I think i actually had one on one counselling at headspace last year and it helped me a lot with just generally coping. When i was there i noticed a poster that had info on a group thing and thats where i got the idea from. I tend to avoid everyone around my age because they give me the most anxiety so i feel like being around people with the same sort of problem as me might help me. I'm going to the doctors tomorrow anyway to see if its even a thing plus get more counselling sessions. Its just easier said than done getting over a lifetime social anxiety though isn't it haha

Re: socially awkward and lonely

Yeah, I agree with you @sociallyawkwardgirl, getting over social anxiety is easier said than done! Let us know how your appointment with the doctor goes and other any important updates on your situation Smiley Happy
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Hope is just around the corner; you think it's not there when you first look straight ahead, but it actually is when you turn around

Re: socially awkward and lonely

My doctors appointment was pretty bad, I've been given antidepressants and i mean I've never used anything like that before so it sort of scares me,  i don't know what to expect from them like do they change you? or what if i become reliant on them. Plus headspace has a waiting list so i probably wont be able to go for ages. And earlier my friend posted a video with people from her course thing in it and thats made me feel pretty sad and lonely. idk i just feel pretty terrible right now.