Just Not Feeling It
I can't take it!
It might only be Week 3 but somehow I'm already feeling overwhelmed and anxious thanks to a ton of poorly spaced out work.
This sounds controversial but I think C is a good mark, at least how my school marks. A C means you are at standard, however, my parents obviously aren't OK with this, thus I'm going to get further overwhelmed and anxious because in addition to schoolwork I will have 2 tutors that give out a lot of homework!!
Yes, I could tell them I'm stressed out. However, from previous experience, I know they either won't care or mock me (they didn't really grow up knowing about mental health). I know they should be your first contact when you have struggles, however, I simply can't trust them as they're the same people who overwhelm and mock me when I don't get perfect marks.
As you could tell, I don't support perfectionism. I believe trying to get 100% (or an A at least a year above standard) is way too excessive, however, I still think one should try their best regardless.
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Being a student who wants to pursue medicine, I can totally understand the incredible amount of pressure and expectations that society, school and family place on you to reaching the A/B grade. Frankly, the past 4 years of my schooling I have been receiving straight A's but this year I received C's and in my eyes that is not bad because as education gets tougher marks will also get lower. Receiving a C, is also excellent because ti shows you are not failing and have a sound understanding of the knowledge. I think what is most important is knowing what you consider good and successfully and then working on achieving higher than that. At the end of the day, grades and numbers are merely labels that society places on you. You are not defined by how well you do in your academics. Think about all those people or entrepreneurs who succeed even without any schooling. It's important to know that your self worth Is not solely based on your academics. There are always so many different opportunities present in the world and if you ever feel way too stressed or overwhelmed, take a break and try to do something that makes you feel happy!!!
Thank you all, its amazing seeing that people online do want to support me. Life isn't easy so I greatly appreciate it!
Hey there @yeah_it_tahtperson, welcome to the forum!
I'm really sorry you're having a stressful time at the moment. Sounds like you're under a lot of pressure with your school work, it can get overwhelming so quickly, especially with work and assignments from lots of different classes. I know the feeling of having parents who push you to do your best, which is great and all but sometimes mental health is just as important - if not more! I think a lot of our parents were raised to think about mental health differently to how we see it, which can make things difficult.
As @happyandhealthy mentioned, having a chat with your parents may help to clear things up, but I know how hard that can be sometimes. We are always here to listen to how you're feeling or if you want to get something off your chest, so don't hesitate to reach out.
I totally agree with @celestialdreamer, I started using a bullet diary to keep track of everything I need to do, because we all know those lists can be looooong! There is an organisation tool out there for everyone, even apps if that's more your style. I was definitely skeptical when someone recommended that I start using one, but it's worked out for me, so might be worth a shot.
And please don't get discouraged! It's so easy to lose your way under all of that work. School is definitely important, but so are lots of other things, so I hope you're giving yourself some time to do things that make you happy 😃
Good luck with your school work, you've got this! Let us know how you're travelling
Welcome to the community, it's great to have you hear 🥰
I just wanted to jump in here and say I'm thinking of you and that it sounds like you're in a really tough spot. I'm with you in thinking C is a good mark - but I also remember that feeling that my parents didn't agree. I'm feeling for you 🧡
You said that you feel your parents will mock you if you talk to them about your stress, it must be really hard feeling like they won't support you. Is there someone else in your life like another family member or maybe a teacher that you could talk to?
I also just want to link a couple of online supports in case you wanted to chat to somebody one on one, like through eheadspace or Kidshelpline.
Headspace also has a digital work and study service who can help with support around study stress if you wanted to check them out!
I'm really glad @celestialdreamer and @happyandhealthy have been able to give some great support here too, I hope you feel really welcomed and supported here @yeah_it_tahtperson 🥰
Thank you! Yes, I have previously talked to a school counsellor, however, they are quite busy so I haven't been referred back. I agree that KHL & Headspace are extremely helpful resources even out of lockdown!
hi @yeah_it_tahtperson sounds like you're going through a bit of a stressful time right now. Something I like to do to help me feel on track of my schoolwork is print out 1 monthly and 1 weekly calender and filling it in at the start of the month and week so I know how to space out my time and also make time to relax. Do you think this is something that could help you?
Also good on you for standing up for yourself, in my year level at school it was very hard because people were so competitive and it got very overwhelming, so I think it's great that you want to try your best but are not obsessed with getting 100% because that can be really stressful. Have you tried talking to your parents about your feelings or swapping tutors to someone who supports your learning goals? Or even meeting with your teachers instead of tutors (e.g. at lunch time or if you have a free study period) to help your learning?
hello,
thanks so much for your response, ill consider using a calendar to try sort things out. I like the idea of meetings too 🙂
hi @yeah_it_tahtperson it's been a little while, just thought I'd check in and see how you're going?
Hello @celestialdreamer and thank you for the check-in,
Honestly, I'm not quite sure how I'm feeling right now (probably because it's Friday 😜) but this week has been rather bitter-sweet with the announcement of the extension of lockdown.
It's been quite hectic and overwhelming and I have been freaking/ burning out a lot. Despite that, I've also been rather tired but I know it would be worse out of lockdown.
Thanks again!
@yeah_it_tahtperson That's completely okay if you don't know how you are feeling right now. I'm sorry to hear you have been quite burnt out lately. Do you have any strategies that help you when you feel like this? It must be super tough for you and everyone in victoria being in lock down again. What are some self-care activities you like to do?
Honestly, I don't do many (when I really should) but I really benefit from mindfulness, gaming and funny YT videos. I have used KHL WebChat a few times too albeit they tend to be busy but I think things will be settled in time for the holidays.
Those sound like some really useful self-care strategies @yeah_it_tahtperson . I'm glad to hear that you have felt comfortable reaching out to other services for support before 😀. Do you have any fun activities planned for today/the rest of the weekend?
Hi @yeah_it_tahtperson I'm glad it was helpful. How are you going today?
Hi @yeah_it_tahtperson
I'm sorry to hear that your'e feeling stressed out at the moment 😥
I firstly want to let you know that you are not the only one! School can be a super stressful time and can cause anxiety and stress for many of us. It can be even trickier when your parents may not understand why you are feeling stressed, which seems to be the case with you. I think that there are a couple of things you could do which might help!
1. I know that you may not want to talk to your parents due to their past reactions to you communicating your struggles but maybe it is worth while reiterating your feelings to them? Communciation can really help others know what is affecting us. So by you telling your parents again how them mocking you and overwhelming you really affects you it may finally register in their minds that you need them to change and be more supportive. Also telling them what type of support you need from them could also help them know how you want to be assisted.
2. If you don't feel comfortable doing that or you give it a go but nothing positive comes from it is there a school counsellor or another adult that you trust and can talk through things with? Even having a chat with friends might help you feel more supported. And of course don't forget that you can post on the ReachOut forums whenever you need someone to listen or give you some advice!
I think that by the sounds of things you are a hard worker and you should be proud of your efforts no matter what anyone else thinks or says! Keep working hard but also make sure you find the time to do things you enjoy so you can have a break and recharge ☺️
Cheers, I didn't mention this but yes I have a supper network of mates that we vent each other on.
I am definitely glad I learnt not to compare myself to others at an early age!
