Comparison is the Thief of Joy
Hi guys - I hope you are doing well!
I just wanted to ask what strategies/techniques YOU use to help quieten/stop your self-comparison-related thoughts. Some useful things I do include:
1. Practising gratitude by focusing on the strengths and resources that you DO have.
2. Practising self-compassion by treating yourself with kindness and understanding when you make mistakes or feel less than.
3. Practising a growth-mindset by embracing challenges as an opportunity for learning and growth as setbacks are only TEMPORARY and not an indicator of your self-worth.
4. Practising mindfulness by focusing on what is happening NOW and what you are doing NOW instead of thinking about what others are doing.
5. Talking to someone I trust! This always helps lift my mood and gain a better perspective on what is actually happening!
Keen to hear your thoughts/tips!
Comments
Hi @Sprouting_Flowers ,
I really enjoyed these tips - it can be so easy to fall into the trap of comparison and I am definitely guilty of it.
Something I find helpful is to think about all of the little challenges I have overcome to get to where I am. Everyone is dealing with different circumstances and we are not all at the same starting point!
Hi @sognarly - yes, I agree! Reflecting on your past triumphs can be incredibly helpful, and I also like how you have highlighted that everyone is running a different race!!
Hey there @Sprouting_Flowers , thanks for the post on techniques on stopping self comparison thoughts!
What I usually do when I encounter these events in my life is to first understand the position where the person is coming from. Especially if they believe or had the thought that comparing others will do good for me, and that it would "motivate" me to do better.
After that, I would then do some grounding exercises and to remind myself on the achievements I had made and my goals for the future. And that knowing that I have done and will do, that I will personally know I am on the right track and that I will improve.
Hey @Orchid_Mallard , such great ideas! Some grounding techniques, perspective-taking, and adopting a growth mindset can really benefit us all!
Thanks for the post. These are some really practical strategies!
I try to think about what I’m trying to achieve by comparing myself to others. If I want to learn from them to improve my capabilities, then comparison can be useful. If I’m just doing it to make myself feel better/worse, then it’s probably not going to end well for me.
I also try to understand why I feel bad that someone else did better. Usually it’s because I worked hard/tried my best and the result was disappointing. I can then sit with the disappointment and use it to do things differently next time.
It sounds like you are deeply self-aware and have found a way to navigate self-comparisons in an adaptive way. I agree, being able to sit and cope with negative emotions such as disappointment is also an important skill as comparisons ** can ** be for ** particular people ** useful at times!
@Sprouting_Flowers this is a lovely post.
I used to constantly compare myself to others throughout high school and it was something I struggled with quite a bit. Now that I'm out of school, I have learnt that as cliche as it may sound, everyone is just on their own path through life.
I used to wonder why I wasn't getting perfect grades like the person next to me, or why I couldn't find the energy to get out of bed some days, whereas my brother would be up at 6am to go for a run.
Changing my mindset away from the self-comparison helped a lot and gave me a lot more peace in my life. Yes, my brother may get up at 6am for a run, but you and I both know that the knee I injured when I was 13 would never allow me to run like that.
Yes, the person next to me in class got 100% on their English essay, but they're spending hours on preparation because they want a 90+ ATAR to go into a tricky Uni degree.
Reframing mindsets definitely helped me become a better person for myself and those around me
Hi @Invictus-Ernest - thank you for your response! I really like how you highlighted that quieting thoughts surrounding self-comparison not only benefits you but also the people around you! :))
Hello @Sprouting_Flowers
This is a such a wonderful post! And I do agree that Comparison really get you bothered sometimes and I really what you have shared out to combat it!
3 really resonates with me and I feel like reframing your thoughts and growing from it is such a important thing to do!
In terms of what I do quieten/ stop self-comparison thoughts, similar to your number 3, I would typically reframe my perspective of he situation to grow as well as to celebrate the achievement of others ( while being mindful of what I could improve and learn 😊)
I also like how you practice gratitude as well, personally I find it much more difficult to really see your own strengths when you are comparing yourself to others so I feel like what you are doing in 1 ( identifying with your strengths and resources) is such a helpful tool to look into as well! Out of curiosity, do you perhaps note these down in a certain way? How do you go about doing 1?
Very curious to hear about it and once again such an insightful post 😊
Hi @KaizerBiker - thank you for your response! It has inspired me to try new strategies to combat these negative self-comparison-related beliefs!
Thank you so much for sharing these @Sprouting_Flowers !
These are all wonderful and are super important 💓😊 I really love number 4 and this is something I've been trying to focus on more. I was wondering if there was anything you do that helps with mindfulness? I would love to hear about it if you feel comfortable.
I'm not sure if you've ever come accross it before but insight timer is a great app and there are so many great guided mindfulness meditations to try out.
Thank you again for sharing 😊
Hi @Bailey_RO
I am so happy to hear this post resonated with you!!! It's funny that you mentioned "Insight Timer" as I have recently downloaded it - haha! I try and use it most mornings to start my day. Besides that, I have also started taking some time out of the day to journal just so that I can reflect on my feelings and responses to better improve my self-awareness!
