Friendship is sooo fragile
I got high marks from this semester while my best friend got quite low. And she stopped talking with me. I'm very sad now. I even apologized to her for telling her my mark but still...what should I do, I really love her
Comments
Hi @Sx,
Good job on your marks! I'm sorry to hear that this situation happened though 😞
It's really good that you tried to apologise and reach out to her, it really shows you care. It sounds like your friend may be insecure about her mark. Maybe after a period of time she will come around? I hope she will! Please keep us updated
I hope you don't mind me asking but did she suddenly stopped talking to you when she find out your marks? I myself am going through the same thing right now and it completely devastates me that something so little such as semester marks can ruin such a beautiful friendship, but I guess that's just high school. As far as I can see you've already apologised to her for something that's not your fault, I don't see how you getting high marks and her getting low marks is any of your fault. I suggest that you talk to her about even if she doesn't listen. Even she doesn't listen to you at least you tried to explain yourself and made things clear. I believe that if she loves you as much as you love her then you guys will get through this.
Hope that helped you even if it's just a little bit. Keep me updated and feel free to talk to us here and we'll help you in any way we can😊
Hardships and misunderstandings can make a friendship bond stronger than any other thing.
Hi everyone, @SkyIsTheLimit@Trikle Trade@mspaceK@missep, good news! Finally she answered, although still she doesn't want to talk much, but I can understand. I think after a while we will be ok. Thank you guys for being supportive and helpful!!! And wish you all the best. And @SkyIsTheLimit hope your friend will come back to you soon! Thanks again!
Hi @Sx!
I'm so glad! I believe that situations like these can help people grow 🙂 I wish you so much luck on your friendship journey 🙂
I'm happy for you! I wish you all the luck in the world with your studies and especially with your friend. I'm happy that she answered you but I'm still bummed out that she's not back to being her normal self just yet. My friendship problem is prettt much resolved now but there's still one issue. She doesn't want me to always top her...
Anyways! I hope you all the best and good luck with your studies!
Thank you very much @SkyIsTheLimit for your help!
It's not like she suddenly stopped talking. I saw my marks first and told her I was so happy at my marks (I thought she'd get good ones too as she studied hard), she said stop saying that. At then, she didn't check her marks yet. Then we talked sth else. The next day I found her post on FB, complaining about marks and said "if you're the one who complained about you didn't do well but finished with awesome marks, get away from me". I even didn't realise she means me....And tried to comfort her...I sent her dozens messages, I called her, then I apologised, no reply. It's been two days. I still couldn't believe that. She was really nice and loving to me. I can't do anything else but keep thinking this. Just UNBELIEVABLE.
Perhaps I should stop contacting her, and give us time. Thank you sooo very very much for the understanding and hope you will get through it too.
How I'm dealing with my issues is that I've done nothing wrong, it's not my fault that I got higher marks than her so I see no reason for me to apologise or anything to her. I realised that after I kept on messaging her apologising. I stopped messaging her and now I'm just waiting for what she does next. If she really values me as much as she says she'll see that it wasn't any of my fault.
I can't really tell you what to do best but I tell you now that whatever action you choose will lead to something that'll benefit you. I wish you all the best and update me with what's happening!
@Sx while I can 100% understand being upset at not doing well at something and feeling bitter that people got better than me (that's such an apt description of me it's not funny) i truly think this is kinda crappy of your friend to do?
You sound like an amazing person and such a good friend but in my onion this is a bit immature on her part, like why not communicate "I'm jealous you got that mark and I feel sad because I deserved better" or, better yet, be like "wow well done on that good mark congrats". It's kinda her place to apologise and reach out rather than the other way around, because all you did is do well in school!
iunno, either way, good job on doing a good job!
how are things between you and your friend? We're having a GR about friendships on the 31st, maybe you'd like to be part of it? Anyways let me know how things are going for you! 🙂
@SkyIsTheLimit@Agreed!!!! I think you are doing the right thing and I'm waiting for her next action too. I today realized it's not me who determined her marks. I understand it must be very tough for her and I'm willing to do anything to help. But it's unfair she blames me and refuses to talk. The same to your friend.
Its normal that friends fight for many things, that's how the friendship becomes stronger and stronger. Stop talking is not helping, not the right way, I'd rather she shouting at me!
Anyway I'd do what I can to save it, for what we had deserves that. I'll wait for a few days and probably come to her for last try if she remains quiet. As you say, if your friend values you that much she'll see the truth sooner or later. Let's hope for the best for us! And keep me updated too!
I think you give some time to manage himself,you talk to him in a way that marks doesn't matter in friendship.
Hey @Sx,
Congratulations on getting really good grades! That is something you should be really proud of, even if it doesn't feel like it based on how your friend is feeling and reacting. It sounds like you worked hard to get your grade and you deserve it. 🙂
It is great that you have tried reaching out to support your friend. It is a really unfortunate thing when these kinds of things happen. I have been on both the receiving end and causing end of this type of situation. I remember once I thought I worked so hard on a unit and did awful in comparison to a bunch of friends. I really thought I deserved a better grade but it turned out other things were affecting my judgement and I didn't put in as much time and effort and I didn't necessarily understand the content that well, but I didn't reach out for help. I was negative towards the people who did better than me at first and it kind of turned into a competitive mentality for a while. The way I ended up getting through it, and I was very lucky, my friend actually helped me with my school work and I learnt the skills to speak to my teacher about getting help and practicing. Perhaps you don't need to mention the grades again, but if you feel up to it, seeing as this is your friend, you may feel comfortable working together on school work or talking about how you're going throughout the semester. Saying things like "I'm not quite sure I understand this, do you?" Or "how are you feeling about this test coming up?" could help and show your friend that working together and supporting and remaining positive is more important than the actual grade result. I find that being honest and encouraging can really help people when they're struggling with grades. It sounds like your friend might just need that positive encouragement and I think ultimately they would appreciate it. I also find that finding something to do together that has nothing to do with school work where you can just be friends and be positive and encouraging towards each other can also help build each other up when you're not doing so well.
Another case, and just recently, I was in a group assignment and my group did incredibly well. A pair we knew didn't do well at all so I really felt uncomfortable talking about my grade because I didn't want others to feel bad. However - it's really important to always try your best and do what works for you. I think giving your friend time is a fantastic idea! Keep us updated on how it goes.
And remember - Go You!!! And well done again 😄
Thanks a lot @mspaceK for your generous sharing and suggestions!!
Indeed, it's very comfortable to talk about grades when others didn't do quite well. I didn't contact her today, hopefully she will be better soon! I'll update if there's any news...Thanks again!!
No worres at all 🙂 this problem resonates well with my schooling experiences throughout the years. All the best!
