How reframing to positive thoughts helped my day
I strive to have the most wellbeing I can. So when im feeling only a little less well than usual I try to work out what it is and fix it.
However, over time I started to build the habit of when something was just a little down i focus on ' Why am i DOWN' how can i not be DOWN' and when i finally felt at a nice optimum level I would sometimes think now lets make sure i dont let myself drop DOWN again.
Do you see the theme? I was focusing on my deficit and focusing on what i didnt want, and of course , what I did want would be popping up in my thoughts and eventually my emotions.
So now I am trying to make a habit of focusing on what i do want rather than dont want. Its easy to fall into old habits, but for the day that I had this realisation..........I had a crazy day, with some crazy lucky. I wouldnt call it lucky when I realised that I left my wallet at home when I went to pay for petrol. But what was lucky was that the guy behind me offered to pay for my petrol! 🙂
I feel like when you are feeling and thinking positively, its so infectious and contributes to other peoples happyness too!
-What do people think?
-Have you had any similar realisations or thoughts?
-have you guys had an opposite example thats perhaps different to mine?
-Also. Do you guys think this has any implications for labels? such as identifying with a diagnosis of depression
Comments
This is a great thread!
I went and saw a new counsellor last year and she said what do you want to get out of these sessions. I said I don't want to be anxious anymore, I want it to go away etc and she said how about we rephrase it to be I look forward to feeling calm and nd happy or even have it in the present tense so I like being calm and happy. It really changed my though pattern! Just like
@Topaz I set goals like that too now!
I used to have a gratitude journal as well (I should get back to it!) I'd write down three poisitve things that happened everyday and what I was looking forward to the next day to try and keep everything poisitve and happy! For example one day I was super stressed and worried about an exam I had the next day and could not think of anything I was looking forward to about it. Instead I realised I was looking forward to the relief I would feel at the end of it 😄
Years ago I was quite unwell and had lots of appointments and day program every week. I felt like I was spending more time thinking and talking about the depression I was experiencing and felt all my life had come to was talking about all the negatives, ruminating on my problems etc One day I decided to stop the day program I was in and instead pick up a hobby and start creating a life outside of my illness. For me, It was the best thing I ever did - changing my mindset to be a 'healthy and happy person' instead of 'I am sick and making my whole life revolve around that.'
@Troy It's interesting, and there is a difference between introspection and rumination. We all analyze and try to make sense of our thoughts to varying extents - it helps us understand ourselves and our world on a deeper level. On the other hand, rumination, that is, getting fixated on source of distress rather than potential solutions as you mentioned, can be harmful.
Basically, reflecting on your feelings is great but when you become so caught up with focusing on the how, why, and what's going to happen now? to the extent that you can't proceed to work on solutions to alleviate your distress such as disputing negative thoughts, it may prevent you from overcoming your distress.
I gotta admit, I fall into the trap of rumination quite often and it takes me a while to start to think things through rationally.
As for diagnosis, rumination is a big component of depression but of course not everyone who ruminates is depressed. For example, rumination is also a big component of generalized anxiety disorder. That being said, diagnoses aren't the be all and end all. They're useful to establish a framework that can guide therapists in forming treatment plans for the best outcome and can help us understand ourselves more, but they also put pressure on the therapist to neatly select and package a list of symptoms into a box to form a concrete diagnosis, and of course they can change over time.
Bit of a rant but I think it's important to give diagnoses the level of significance they deserve and not to let them define us 🙂
I agree, being positive is as infectious as being negative. That's why when I wake up in the morning I actively seek to get positive through exercise or reading the Bible or listening to music. Tackle negative thoughts before they get you right 🙂
Nice post 😉
I totally agree, @Troy I think how we frame things is really important. Words are powerful. They focus our attention in one area while other possibilities fade away. When words are negative - no, not, never, stop, quit, etc. - we focus on what we want to avoid instead of what we want to achieve.
I use this setting goals. For example, instead of saying "I'm going to stop eating junk food", I might reframe this as "I am going to eat more yogurt, fruit, and other healthy foods".
@Topaz Yeah iv heard of that for goal setting, thats a good one!
hmm yum I feel like yoghurt now 😛
