What do you like about the peer support that we give? I like how the support comes from many different perspectives but is tailored toward the person based on what they have said. Its usually positive often practical and almost always really encouraging.   What don’t you like about the support we give? Sometimes the structure can come off as a bit robotic, particularly if many people start with acknowledging and encouraging or something similar. Sometimes I find it refreshing when a user cuts straight to the point of what they think they can offer as a helpful suggestion, bit of advice or similar situation they have had and what they did.   What could we do more of? Keep maintaining the awesome job that everyone is doing, and give more recognition and training to those who want to do more and learn more.   Maybe encouraging more moderators to do 'How to posts' that involve people. Such as 'How to give great peer support' and offer it framed as one person's personal perspective. As others chip in there might be lots for everyone to learn.   What would the ideal peer support look like to you? -Similar to what @lokifish said: Acknoweldges difficulty, but focuses on strengths and what can, not what 'can't'. -Someone who has some practical advice, but doesn't feel the need to give 'solution's', and can simply just be there to support and empathise or even share similar experience, if thats what is appropriate. -Someone who who appreciates the individuality of each person -SOMEONE WHO IS BEING THEMSELVES :)    ... View more

 @lokifishLove the sentence  "acknowledges difficulty but focuses on building strengths". Thats a great way of putting it ... View more

Hey @KjStormy    From one of my experiences, I found that when I was really worried about something happening, it made that thing more likely to happen. In my case it was trust in a relationship. I think, that if we become too scared of loosing someone, it often starts a chain of behaviours that really does push them away.   Maybe you could think of one action you could do to show him how much you appreciate him, or admire him for being so patient and understanding to you.   Im not an expert, but, for a lot of people small lifestyle changes can help there mood. The big ones that I hear regularly is getting enough sleep, exercising and having a health diet.   Its tough because anxiety and depression can contribute to poor sleep, so setting up good sleeping habits might also be useful, such as doing a quick 10 minute meditation before bed to clear your mind.  A mind 'racing' with thoughts before you sleep makes sleep a lot harder.       ... View more

hi @Lisalovesbacon    If you think that your mother may be the cause and trigger of your anxiety and depression, can you think of some ways that you could reduce this reaction? One thing might be trying to avoid contact when you are having a tough day for example.   If what my mum is saying troubles me, sometimes I try to listen to the words without interpreting them. So I try to hear the words, but not give meaning, not judge , not evaluate. This is sort of hard and definately takes a lot of practise. Its a sort of mindfulness technique that I have adapted. A common meditation technique is to listen to sounds for example, without interpreting it. So often in life we continually and instantly interpret , visualise, judge, evaluate and give meaning to things in life - which may not be emotionally helpful or accurate.   My mum use to be an alcoholic (although sober for over 25 years now). What helped her the most is going to  AA (alcoholics anonymous).   I would definately speak to your supervisor about the situation. Your safety and wellbeing should be the first priority, and if you do not feel comfortable in this situation he should respect this. Hopefully your supervisor will be able to match you with someone less difficulty especially while you a new at the job.   ... View more

hey @headspaced   Seems like lots of people have offered some good advice and insights.   Are there things you do that feel like they help?  For instance, when things are feeling really chaotic for me, I actually enjoy work, because for those 5 or so hours, all I have to worry about is doing the job, which im usually quite good at.   When things are a bit crazy, I find that it helps me to focus on the things I do have control of rather than the things I dont have control of. When people are not treating us how we think is fair, this can cause a lot suffering, because other people are not something we really have control over. Perhaps try focus on your own character, and despite these other people, if you uphold what you think is right in yourself, then I reckon your doing well.   As much as we hate adversity when we are in them, if we are able to battle through with integrity these situations in the long term can help make us stronger and better people.   A cool quote that I held onto is "A calm sea never made a skilled sailor". You will get through this, and when you do, hopefully you will have a bunch of tools for a the future, when things are not so rocky.   Again, well done having 2 jobs and living out of home at 16. Thats seriously awesome! You may not realise it, but your so much further ahead than other 16 year olds, whos parents are probably forcing them to get jobs and making sure they are not late for their shifts. When you are older, this 'life expereince' is going to shine through you and take you to higher places than if you were not in the situations.   ^ the above looks at the silver lining - however, for some practical techniques to help things feel a bit better today is to start a practise of mindfulness meditation.   To most people meditation initiatially seems like something that may not be worth the time. But TRUST me, mindfulness is what helped me so much through year 12 stress while juggling 2 jobs myself. Its really worth getting into, and it does pay off. There is so much research behind mindfulness that they are now making Law students and medical students do it at university. Some countries are even introducing it to their parlimentary members.   I dont want to leave you with too much of an essay to read, so hit me up if you got any particular questions :) ... View more

hi @Hicks   Ill start this reply by saying- definately follow your heart and intuition on this one.   The overall idea im getting from your message is that you do want to explore things  with your bestfriend a bit further.  Am I getting the right idea?    To touch on some personal experience- There definately have been times for me where transitioning from friendship to a relationship had sortof changed the friendship which sucked at the time. But not something I regret in the long term. Its all part of living and learning. I think its taking these little risks while we are younger that helps us find learn about ourselfs and others - which is heaps helpful when your older and things start getting more serious!   Again, do whats going to be right for you personally.   Hopefully other people have some good suggestions also! ... View more

hey @Spe1092   Our minds are super complex and super tricky. I personally think they should teach healthy ways of thinking in school. Hopefully something that will happen in the future!   For lots of problems we solve externally, we often 'think' our way through it.  It wouldnt be very effective trying to 'feel your way through a maths problem at school. And things we can't do we often end up avoiding ( e.g. I dropped out of maths after year 10)   However, these same strategies that are useful for solving problems out side of us, aren't necessarily always helpful emotionally.     Over thinking, or getting into negative spirals generally isn't helpful. One technique people use to break this pattern is to focus briefly on their breath, which usually stops or reduces the flow of thoughts.    it's awesome that you challenging your negative thoughts.   Another strategy to combine with this is to try to step back a little and not to cling on to these thoughts.  A cool quote that I have held onto is "you are not your thoughts". Try being aware that you are 'having a thought' rather than you are 'your thoughts'. In yoga they often think of thoughts as 'clouds passing by'.     Have there been any times in the past where you have felt like support might help you?        ... View more

@Ben-RO   What do you all think about this new Parents thing?   Sounds cool! expansion is good   What's one thing that parents need to understand better about mental health and young people?   Understand practical ways to apply the information. Theres a lot of information out there but less cool ways to apply it that aren't just 'generic'. I personally dont like a lot of generic advice. For example when people are getting bullied a lot of people say 'tell the teacher'. Which im sure for many cases is the best option. But for other people this would just further marginalise them from their peers. So an array of cool tips for different people in different situations i think would be helpful :)     What sort of information do you think they need the most?   I think some evidence could be helpful. For example the understanding of depression or stress today is a lot different to when they were growing up. Maybe information that communicates that these issues are okay to talk about and some tips about how they can support their children in a supportive and non-invasive way.     What's do you reckon is the best way to support a parent They are usually fairly busy, so I think that Videos could be a good way to engage. I know I cant get my mum to sit down for more than a few minutes to read something. But thats just one example.     P.S. I have an exam in 2 days - sorry if any of my sentences dont make much sense :P  ... View more

1. Had an awesome sleep in -Alarms were banned  2. Planned by day out (its going to be productive) 3. Started my day with my top priority (aint no one got time for procrastination ;P ) ... View more

Looking forward to being on holidays after exams! ... View more

hi @Parakeet   A good quote that I like to go by is "the path of least resistance is the path of least growth"   Often in the moment things can be a struggle, for example it may be harder to may friends than expected. And this can 'force' you out of your comfort zone in many ways that can help us grow and feel better in the long term!   Sometimes when we release expectations we have a different experience, but this can still be a satisfying experience!   Hope you get more out of it in the last 2 months :) ... View more

Thanks for your response@Creativegirl12, was nice to hear back from you.   Has there been a time when you have not self-harmed? It can be helpful for us to remember, these times.   When we get stressed, there can often be a tendency to think in an 'all or nothing'  style. So we forget the times that we didnt do something, and feel like we 'always' do this, or can't do that, etc.   The next time you get one of these urges, just starting with the next time, is there a different reponse you could take. For example, if I got the urge, I could do 10 pushups instead. Just some little activity to take out mind in a different direction, and break the cycle. It can be really tough to break a cycle. Can you think of any activities your could do? Another idea could be to practise focusing on your breath (mindful breathing) for 10 breaths.   Hope I have been helpful for you :) ... View more

@Creativegirl12   Sometimes for me at least, when there is a negative mood, it can sortof turn into a spiral. Sometimes in the past if im in a really bad mood I would think I just need to sleep it off. More recently however, one trick thats helped is to meditate for 15 minutes or so. could be something as simple as focusing on your breath, or some people focus on the flame of a candle. Theres heaps of stuff you can do. When you get away from the rapid cycle of 'thoughts' for some people it 'reset's their mood a little. Of course the more practise the better you become at doing this. If your like how I use to be, thoughts racing around your head would be normal. Slowing this down, and getting use to not always thinking and thinking about thinking can really help. Many of these 'automatic thoughts' are not helpful especially if we are in a bad mood.         ... View more

hey @Creativegirl12   I personally believe that everyone deserves support. I dont think that there needs to be a 'criteria' for people to be valued. I think we are all valuable simply for existing.   Everyone is on there own little journey and doing the best they can do. So stick in there and keep working on the things that support you.   On that note, have there been times when you have felt like you deserved the support of others? From my perspective, its often the people that feel they dont deserve that may benefit from support the most. So people like me have an even stronger desire to help out :)    There a thing called state dependent memory - meaning that our memories to an extent get encoded into our brain with a state we are experiencing at that time like feeling bad. So when we feel bad, we might end up seeing a negatiely exaggerated view of the world, as positive memories are more strongly associated with a positive state and mood.  This may be one reason that things seem "all bad" at times. When really the good things are still there, they are just sortof 'hiding' from our conscious awarness. I thought this was a cool concept and wanted to share it with you (:    its important to get lots of perspectives and views, so well done for taking the first step of posting and I hope you get more helpful responses   ... View more

@Mermaidgirl6    Sometimes it hard to explain many things. But to inspire someone else to go and learn those things for themself is one of the best outcomes!  That makes me happy :)      ... View more

Negative: Set my alarm at 5:00am to study. Fell back to sleep :(   Pos: Because I wanted to make up for lost time, I went to the library where I could focus without distraction. I ended up gettings lots of study done, and lots of sleep :) ... View more

@fudgepup Thanks for your encouraging response! :) It is always nice to hear what parts people find valuable     ... View more

Hi @neko   I recently watched a television short documentary and one of the people were experiencing agoraphobia and social anxiety. It lookied like it could be really difficult at times, well done for committing to going to an event!   Im quite a social person, and love going out to bars, music festivals and travelling. The one thing that I have come to notice personally is that  your self-confidence and overall vibe is more powerful than physical appearence. Unfortunately if we dont feel physically comfortable with ourself however, this can effect our confidence and reinforce that idea.   A strategy that helps me heaps in social situations that might work for you too is a mindfullness practise.   Mindfulness put simply is attention and awareness of the present moment.   As Russ Harris puts it we can have thoughts about the future or past but we can only pay attention to the present.   A lot of anxiety comes from projected future feelings, such as "what will these people think about me".  Over years, constant anxiety can build mental habits of worry and self-evaluations.     Put simply:  A mindfulness practise gets your brain and mind into the habit of not thinking about and thus evaluating yourself (a big part of social anxiety) and with practise you can learn to reduce feeling self-conscious. Think of brain areas like a muscle. The more you train a certain area, the stronger it gets.   Some Science behind it: When our attention is focused on present awareness of our current experience (what we can see, feel, touch, taste, hear) this activates the lateral areas of the prefrontal cortex in your brain, and activity in the medial prefrontal cortex decreases. WHY is this significant? Because the medial prefrontal cortex in the area of the brain associated with 'self-referntial processing' or put simply thinking about yourself, evaluating yourself etc.   I usually leave the 'science' part out so peoples heads dont explode, so let me know if it was helpful or too much :P    I will leave you with some wise words :P on 'presence'       ... View more

Awesome @Craycray17 Thanks for the example :) ... View more

@redhead Thanks for sharing your tips!   One strategy could be that when you have that 'time to listen to voices' do it in a only one place like your laundry so that this area is associated with listening to voices. I think this may be helpful as, if your bed room is the area associated with taking time ot listen to voices it could make it harder for you to sleep at night.   As @Ben-RO said, meditation sounds like a good idea. You could do a body scan, where you are slowlying bringing awareness up your body from your toes to your head. Usually this helps to disengage the langauge centres, so maybe it would help a little bit for you?     @Ben-RO I have always wondered what transendental meditation is? Heaps of people seem to like it! ... View more

Cool! ... View more

139. Think about your thoughts as passing bubbles. You are not your thoughts, and you dont have to judge yourself for your thoughts. You experienc thoughts. You are not the thought (one perspective). ... View more

@Bay52VU   I think sometimes when in the past for whatever reasons someone has had strong habits associated with negative thinking, even when things have changed the person may remain to an extent vulnerable to their old ways of thinking, partly because those habits were reinforced over such a long period of time.   Perhaps being aware of this may help, and over time you can build up your more positive wellbeing strategies, and the old strategies that are less succesful may fade away out of atrophy and lack of use.         ... View more

hi @Bay52VU   If your need some additional support, a cool place is Headspace .   They can help out with different issue like how your feeling in person. Maybe an opportunity to go a bit further then is achievable here.   A cool thing that helps me feel good when I am down is "giving". Is there a time you have freely given to someone else? Or done a random act of kindness?     You dont need to be angry at yourself @Bay52VU. Everyone has their own personal definition of success. If yours isnt that same as someone else's thats okay! I think the best thing to do is look at your journey, and take one step at a time.   Little achievmentes all add up. In the military as well as with some peak performers like jimmy Ferris (awesome podcast) , they start their day by making their bed. This simple 'achievement' starts the day with positive momentum.   You shared some awesome ideas about emotions with me the other day. I really enjoyed that conversation.  Keep up the good work! ... View more

  @Run   It sounds tough to not have that internal energy to drive your forward.   In terms of finding things meaningless, sometimes I find that 'if I try to find meaning' I cant find it, but by doing activities and living a certain lifestyle I can at times find a lot of meaning. Is there a hobbie or something you like doing? Often tasks that break the mind from a cycle of thinking can really benefit us!   Do you have things that you know give you a little boost of energy? For me its waking up early. When I set my alarm early, I feel like I am ahead and it gives me positive momentum for the day. Another tip might be to make your bed when you wake up. This also gives us a 'little win' and sense of completion which can start out day with a little bit of momentum (this is strategy that the army reinforces strongly).   I would suggest mindfulness When our mind is in a constant state of thinking, this can really drain our energy. Sometimes its nice to just 'be' so to speak.   Sometimes it can be helpful to focus on the things you want to bring into your life. Rather then reinforcing the things you want to get rid of by thinking them over.   Whats one thing you could do today to give yourself some positive momentum for the future?  ... View more

yeah @Kit they were superstars! ... View more

haha its quite possible we all feel like this @stonepixie       Its pretty deep stuff  XD Iv enjoy discussing it though! :)             Usually I think of CBT as one perspective and the whole mindfulness and related philosphy as another, but through your questions it made me think about it to see how they work together     So this was a real learning point for me, thanks guys :)   I think theres a temptation to simplify things into one framework or a single understanding. But often things are way to complex to do this, so it can help to think of things on a number of levels and from a number of perspectives.   A good example of this is where psychology courses always emphasise a biological, psychological and sociological perspective (biopsychopsocial model) which they acknowledge all have some overlap with eachother, but are still individual perspectives, that are compartmentalized to an extent.     Personally I think that by respecting the complexity, you leave yourself open and naturally make connections over time. This is definately something that I struggle with :P     haha @stonepixieI use to play that when I studied in year 12 :P  ... View more

@stonepixie @j95 @N1ghtW1ng  Absolutely awesome responses. You guys have so much good knowledge to share I feel like I can learn off what each of you have just discussed.   to go more directly to your question @stonepixie I think they are consistent, but on different levels.   CBT is very straight forward and simple.   'The cognitive model states that the interpretation of a sitaution (rather then the situation itself), often expressed in automatic thoughts, influences one's subsequent emotion, behaviour, and physiologicla response' Judith S. Beck (Daughter of the founder of Cognitive therapy)   So roughly- This is suggesting that our interpretation of things effects our emotions (this seems associated to what you said about 'you think what you feel'.   However, from a more 'mindfulness' perspective of 'you are not you thoughts', is moving away from interpretation and automatic thinking. For example, when I meditated last night it started raining and my automatic imagery was the rain on the tin roof, and I instantly got this positive feeling because I like the sound of rain on the roof. However, I gently moved away from this 'thinking' and 'interpreting' mind and tried to merely listen to the rain as a raw sound without even thinking of it as rain, just merely a sound in part of my experience.   So my interpretation of  "you are not your thoughts" is that  on one level we have a RAW experiences that are largely neutral. But often, we attach stories and given meaning to these experiences and it is this meaning that can produce for example pleasure and suffering.    Im definately not suggesting to never interpret events in life. It seems that all functions have their purpose, but I guess flourishing is based on finding that 'balanced  zone' between a good amount of automatic thinking and interpreting an excessive amount that is based on distortions.   P.S. When I say our experience is largely neutral ill explain what I mean a bit more. Of course on a lower more primitive level we have strong drives  e.g. Food etc. But on a higher level, much things are neutral such as a rock. But we may attach meaning to these things. Not going to go too deep into this, but didn't want people to get lost in the 'exeptions.     Looking forward to hearing your responses as you guys have awesome ideas!   Im off to go be present at the gym while I smash out a workout :)     ... View more