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(TW) Hi @Phantom1105 thanks for your reply, and I'm sorry for your loss 😞 It's really hard because it's not that I want to leave and let people down it's that I can't take the pain. I appreciate how suicide can affect people who knew the person- my cousin (I never met him) took his own life and it was really hard on his family, they got torn apart. My family have told me how much it would upset them. For me the guilt doesn't help 😞 But I know for some it does