Hey MB95,
I’m proud of you as well for not giving up 😊
Sometimes you have to give yourself credit for doing what you can even though it might not be what you want or hope for. It sounds like at the moment you’re both mourning the lack of space you have to unpack your feelings and the lack of closure you have gotten from your last two psychs. So instead of being able to allow yourself to feel in this moment, you may just be bottling it up.
Do you feel if you wrote them a letter explaining your feelings and what you wished you could have said with them that it will help you get a tiny bit of closure on the situation? After you are finished you can delete, tear up or store the letter away somewhere out of the way. At least with this you are able to put it aside for now without having to keep bottling it up?
But if that is too much right now (as you did say your journaling is too much right now), what do you think might help to expend some energy and frustration?
When I feel super frustrated and worked up and nothing helps, I always have to get some exercise. Even in lockdown I would look up a silly 1980’s aerobics workout on youtube and try to follow along (although I would typically stop halfway though gasping and laughing at the big hair and outfits).
Maybe something like that could help just for tonight?
