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personally i never find comparing suffering to be a helpful thing all that really matters is if it is affecting you personally badly and it is valid because you are suffering whether or not other have suffered more is kind of irelevant idk i am explaining myself terribly but your struggles are valid and they do matter and sometimes we are "lazy" because we are actually not feeling ok or not doing ok and that is valid. i really hope you can try and not be so hard on yourself about this but i understand easier said than done. sorry for this mess of a post my head is a little out of it right now.